


STILL

by Lovelyj



Series: I Only Want You [3]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, BriWoon implication because I love them, Canon, Confession, Fluff, Insecurities, Inspired from real JaePil events, Jae Is Too In Love, M/M, Secret Relationship, Smut at the end but not explicit, Wonpil Is Too Oblivious, a bit homophobic, assurance, closet gays, panicked gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-02-04 14:03:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 53,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18606025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelyj/pseuds/Lovelyj
Summary: Wonpil swore he’ll never tell Jae he loves him until the day he dies but Jae didn’t let him





	1. Because I Still Want You

**Author's Note:**

> Now i finally decided to add it on “I Only Want You” series because after writing Addicted, I feel like they emotionally and dramatically feels the same way. They are sure of who they want.

He knows Jae will never look his way. Jae will never see the way he looks at him. He beat himself and told himself a million times to stop, to get over with Park Jaehyung but whatever he does, living on the same roof as him will never help. At the end of the day, he still wants Jae.

He cried to his own room, he wants to forget him. He wants to forget how Jae would sometimes look at him with love. His genuine smiles. His care. His eyes. His nose. His lips. His hand. His everything. He wants to forget every bit of him but how? How can he do that? He wakes up seeing Jae, he eats with Jae. He talks to Jae. He plays with Jae. He sings with Jae. He laughs with Jae. He gets tired with Jae. He cries with Jae. He breathes the same air as Jae. Whatever he does, there is Jae and before he sleeps he sees Jae. When he goes to his room, he thinks of Jae. How can he let go if it’s like this? Forgetting him is a torture but loving him is torturous yet he still wants Jae. He wants him so much, that it might drive him crazy.

One day, they got into fight. They only fought once or twice. He got so mad and walked out of the practice room, leaving all the members frustrated and confused. And maybe it wasn’t Jae’s fault after all, it’s his emotions that keeps on blocking his right mind. He hates how his feelings would block all logical reasons.

He ran to his own room, slammed the door. He cried and cried, making the members worry. Dowoon knocked several times on his locked room but Dowoon doesn’t get a response. He’s worried at his hyung, he doesn’t know what’s going on. It was just a small fight but he doesn’t get why his hyung is crying so much. All Dowoon wants right now is to comfort his hyung but he can’t even do that. He took a sit on the sofa facing the room of his hyung, he thought he should wait until his hyung opens the door.

“Why don’t you just talk to him?” Young K spoke to Jae in English right after Young K insisted in coming to Jae’s room. “I don’t really get what you guys are fighting for? You’re older than him. Weren’t you supposed to be the bigger man? Why do you always pick a fight with him? Are you that-“  
“Shut up Brian, I know!” Jae is also mad at himself, he knows what he did was wrong. He picked a fight at a wrong time but it’s just he is bothered, he keeps wondering why Wonpil won’t look at him. There are times when he completely ignores him. He would try to talk to him but Wonpil can always come up with rubbish and divert the attention to something else then leaves with Dowoon. He only wants to see the Wonpil he knows. Perhaps, did Wonpil reach his limit after teasing him for so many years?  
“Hyung-“ Jae’s thoughts were cut with Brian’s words, he looked at him.  
“Hyung, if you have issues with him please fix it. We can’t perform happily if you two are like this. At least, respect our practice.” Finally, Brian calmed down.  
“I know I’m sorry for this mess.” Brian tapped his shoulder.  
“Just to let you know, I am taking Dowoon with me. We might not go home tonight. I’ll tell Sungjin hyung not to come back either until you resolve your problem. Okay?”  
Jae nods. “Thanks dude” Brian smiled at him and finally leaving the room, taking his jacket and wallet.  
The door close and the dorm turned quiet. Wonpil has stopped crying, maybe he has stopped earlier and Jae just didn’t notice it. Jae opened the door of his own room.

Wonpil went out of his room too after feeling the lack of presence of his members. Their eyes met, he didn’t expected Jae to be here. He thought everyone left the dorm. Wonpil quickly look away and proceed to the kitchen. Jae’s eyes followed him, he can feel it. Despite of what happened earlier, seeing Jae’s face, knowing that Jae is looking at him. Wonpil too knows, he still wants Jae. He took a sip of the water that he got from the refrigerator but he choked. Tears were drawing on his face again. Not because of the water but because of his ridiculous thought of still wanting Jae despite of everything that has happened.

“Are you okay?” he could hear Jae’s steps moving closer. Rather than dying from choking on water, he is more afraid of Jae moving close to him. “Stay there hyung” he stretched his palm in front of Jae as he coughs. Jae looked at him with worried face. “I’m okay” he said after he stopped coughing.  
“Where are they hyung?” Even if he had a fight with Jae, they still live on the same house. Even if he had a fight with any members, he will probably act the same. They are still his bandmates anyway.  
“Ah, Brian took Dowoon with him. Sungjin is still having a meeting with the manager”  
Wonpil nods.  
Jae hesitates for a moment and he softly spoke.  
“Pir-ah, can we talk now?”  
“We are talking right now”  
“Wonpil”  
Wonpil looks down, he nods. He just don’t want to fight with him anymore, he’s sick and tired of it. He just want to end everything. Jae sighed in relief, after the long weeks, months actually, he can finally talk to Wonpil properly.

They took a seat on the dining area. Face to face. Wonpil’s hands are clasped under the table while Jae rests his hands on the table.  
“Hyung-“  
“Pir-ah”  
They both said on the same time.  
“Go ahead” Jae suggested, Wonpil agreed. He doesn’t want to take this any longer.  
“Hyung, I’m sorry for getting mad. I know you usually joke around but I guess I’m just sensitive today.”  
“Is that the only reason? Really?”  
Wonpil nods. What can he say anyway? Should he say that “because I like you hyung that’s why I’m overly affected” he can’t do that. What will the whole world think of him? What will the members think of him? What will Jae think of him? That’s the worst. ‘What will Jae think of him?’ He’ll be disgusted of him and he can’t let that happen. He won’t and so he remained silent about his feeling and he will never tell anyone, even his closest friends. Until he die he will keep this secret to himself.  
“Yes hyung.. Nothing else.. I have a request hyung..”  
“What is it?”  
“Can you please stop teasing me for a while hyung, I’m really sensitive these days and I’m really bothered with my own thoughts, I just don’t want them to blame you when it was actually me who has a problem”  
“Why are you saying it that way? It’s my fault, I did not even know that you are having troubles when you are our teammate and friend too, and I just keep on teasing you. I’m sorry for being so childish. I’m sorry and I hope I can make it up to you”

Jae is really worried. Wonpil must have got it so bad and his behavior towards Wonpil is so mean. How could he not notice it? How could he be so stupid?  
“What can I do to make it up to you?”  
Wonpil thought he can’t do anything anyway. He’ll try not to be bothered with his own heart. He’ll try his best even if he wants Jae, even if he wants him more than he should be. The world will never allow him to like Jae freely anyway and so he smiled to Jae. His signature gummy smile.  
“I want ice cream”

And with that, Jae was also infected with his smile. He quickly went to his room to pick up his wallet. He took Wonpil with him and treats him his favorite ice cream. They talked like they usually do, they tried to be casual until they became comfortable with each other’s presence again. Like how it’s supposed to be. Jae laughed with Wonpil and Wonpil laughed with Jae.

_Even if I want you so much I’ll try to keep it to myself until it fades away, until one day, I can smile in the way you smile at me. As if it’s nothing._


	2. You Don’t Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a side story of Jae

Jae was so oblivious of how he feel towards his friend, his bandmate. He thought its normal to be excited to see your friend even if you meet every single day, even if you live on the same house. He thought it was normal to think that your friend has become more handsome as he used to before. He thought complimenting him sometimes is fine. And he thought its normal to be shy as well so he ends up teasing him instead. He thought Wonpil was just special that’s why he thinks and feels that way. Its not like he never fell in love before, he thought he knows love but he only realized that he is in love with Wonpil after they start drifting away. When Wonpil doesn’t want to talk to him suddenly, when he feels like Wonpil is trying to run away from him. Jae misses Wonpil like crazy. He wants to ask if he did anything wrong but even if they are living in the same house, it feels like Wonpil is so out of reach. He is scared to approach him.

He didn’t mean to shout at Wonpil during practice, he just feels like his heart is gonna burst if he keeps everything inside. Everyone can easily tell when Jae is upset, its so easy to upset him but he is trying not show that he is upset so the members won’t feel worse. The members already know that Wonpil is acting weird lately and its so obvious that he is trying to stay away from Jae. The members asked him but all he can say to them is “I don’t know what I did. I swear” because he literally doesn’t know anything at all.

Thanks to Brian, Jae got an opportunity to be alone with Wonpil in their dorm. His heart pounded the moment Wonpil walked out of his room. He is very nervous, thinking of the right words to tell him until he heard Wonpil coughing and he ran quickly to the kitchen. Wonpil feels so distant, even if they are this close, Jae feels like he is so far away, he could not even approach him at this emergency because Wonpil said so.

Jae doesn’t have the whole day, he needs to find courage or else he will never be seeing the Wonpil he misses the most. Jae want to say how he feels for Wonpil but will he accept it? What if it will make things worst and it will ruin their friendship and the band, he cannot make such reckless decision and so he decided to let Wonpil talk. Wonpil talked as if everything is his fault, he keeps on blaming himself when Jae knows he has something to do with this, when he knows there is something wrong with them and he wants to know it but when? When will he ever have the courage to ask Wonpil to tell him the truth? When will he ever have a chance to tell him the truth?  
Jae and Wonpil had ice cream, it feels like they are back to normal but it feels empty, there is something wrong. It feels like he should be holding Wonpil’s hand at this moment, it feels like he should do something about this but he did not. He could not and his heart is aching. He realized that they can never be friends for a long time. He is Jae. He will be known because he is bad at hiding his own emotions and someday everyone will know, he can’t fake his feelings and someday they will be drifting apart because of that stupid thing, we all call love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my unplanned chapter. I just wrote this for myself but I want to share it so..
> 
> Almost there.. just a bit more and we’ll go fluff..


	3. The Secret We Tried To Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae shouldn’t have done what he has done but he swore he’ll never regret it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just excited to finish the sadness.

Its evening and the rest are still not home. Jae and Wonpil decided to have ramyun in one pot while crossing their legs in front of the small table in their living room to watch TV. They both like watching heartwarming shows and so they both decided to watch Prison Playbook, as always it shows a funny and touching story every episode and there’s a part where the friend of the male lead, the police officer watched a movie with the male lead’s sister. Before this happened, the little sister of his best friend went through a lot, she was raped and his brother is now on jail because when he found out, he almost killed the one who did it to his sister. The police officer hoped he doesn’t fall in love with his best friend’s (male lead) sister since they had been together since they were a child, he has seen everything about her as a kid, they also lived on the same house when they were young until they decided to follow their own dreams and got separated. He thought his feelings for his little sister was just friendship and he realized its not when they met again. At that time he doesn’t want to admit it but he do like his best friend’s sister and he doesn’t care about everything else,of what people will think of him because he loves her and he wants to protect her. They kissed on the theater. The police officer looks like he doesn’t regret anything at all, he doesn’t care about anyone’s judgment or anything or what will happen, he just looks happy as they kiss.

Jae gulped, he tried to focus on the food in front of him, trying to avoid the TV while Wonpil just sit still, focused on the show. Jae noticed him being emotional again and that made him pause on doing whatever clumsy thing he is doing and stayed focus on Wonpil.

“Do you think that can happen in real life?” Wonpil suddenly voiced out. He is waiting for Jae’s response but hearing him say nothing made him curious if Jae is doing something that’s why he can’t hear him and so he turned around. Jae is staring at him. Wonpil stared at Jae. Now they look like they are doing a staring contest. No one dared to blink, no one cares about the show anymore. Their heart keeps on pounding, loudly, its gonna burst. In a second, Jae moved closer and suddenly their lips are touching. Wonpil didn’t have the time to push him as everything happened so fast. His eyes widened but he can’t do anything, he feels so weak in Jae’s touch. Jae is moving his lips and he is holding Wonpil’s shoulder while Wonpil’s hand is on Jae’s chest. He can feel his heart pounding. ‘Why?’ Wonpil wondered and found the strength to push Jae.  
“Hyung” Tears formed on Wonpil’s eye. ‘Shit’. He just promised to himself earlier and now what is he doing!

‘Wonpil will hate me, again’. His heart ached on that thought but he can’t escape this anymore. There is no more excuse about what he did.  
“I-Wonpil, I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t say this. I really tried but can’t.. I really.. like you. I love you Pil-ah, I’m so sorry” Tears fell down on Jae’s eyes, it kept on falling because he knows, this is the time where he just ruined their friendship. It’s now over between them. ‘What will happen to the band?’

Wonpil could not believe what he just heard and so tears silently fell from his eyes He’s still scared to confess but Jae is crying in front of him. How many times did they cry? It’s countless but they only cry to each other when they are sincere. When they are telling the truth.

“I’m sorry Wonpil-ah, I thought I can hide it forever. I thought I will be able to keep this to myself but—its my fault please, don’t hate me. Don’t stay away from me. You can just pretend that you never heard it. I’ll make sure no one will know. I promise”

Wonpil is too surprise of Jae’s honesty, he never imagined he will see Jae acting like this in front of him, because of him. If he tell Jae that he feels the same, will the two of them be okay? Will their friends accept them? Will the society accept them? He is so scared of that thought but he is more scared to see Jae crying and saying this kind of words he doesn’t tell Wonpil. Wonpil is so used of hearing teases from Jae and he is so used hearing Jae that he loves Brian. In this kind of situation, he only have one answer in mind.

Wonpil wiped the tears on Jae’s cheek but he is still crying too “Hyung why? Why me? It’s not your fault hyung”  
“No. Its my fault. Its my—“  
Wonpil hugged Jae. He doesn’t want to hear Jae blaming himself anymore.  
“No, its not. I like you too hyung, for a long time now. I like you so much that I thought I will die if I keep stepping closer to you. I was ignoring you because of myself. My love for you keeps on growing that I keep depending on you too much. I was trying to run away from myself hyung. I was so scared that a day will come that I will confess to you and you will feel disgusted at me. That the rest will find out. I’m sorry hyung. For not knowing, for not realizing how you feel. I thought it was just me. I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry”

Wonpil keeps sobbing on Jae’s arms and Jae hugged Wonpil on his waist tightly. He felt like there is a huge needle that has been remove inside his body but he can’t help thinking that Wonpil was also thinking so deeply about their situation. They should not be sorry to each other. It’s not their fault. It’s the society’s fault. Why such stupid rule exists in this world?

“No, please don’t be sorry. We will find a way for this. Okay?” Wonpil nods.

Jae pulled himself from the hug to look at Wonpil. They’re both in a mess. Just like how they usually are when they are crying. Jae gave him a thankful smile, wiping his tears, removing the tear stain on his eyes, and Wonpil did the same thing. They both chuckled. They are in a serious mess. Jae kissed Wonpil on the cheek and so Wonpil did. Jae kissed him on the nose and so Wonpil did. On the forehead, on the eye and on the lips. Wonpil’s question earlier has been answered, it can really happen in real life but can they really fight against the odd? How are they going to face each other tomorrow? Their members, how about them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to our Wonpil!!  
> #HappyWonpilDay


	4. Please Don’t Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil thinks Jae doesn’t love him more than he loves him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t handle them..

“Hyung, what should we do?” Wonpil asked as they both lie down, holding each other’s hand, staring to each other on Wonpil’s bedroom.  
“How can we face the members tomorrow?”  
“We can just be normal.. I guess”  
“Where are they by the way, I thought Sungjin hyung was just talking to the manager and Dowoon, where did Brian hyung took him?”  
“Do you really have to think about them at this moment?”  
“Then what should I think about? Don’t you think it’s strange that they are not yet home? What if something happened to them?”  
“Nothing will happen to them Wonpil. I actually talked to Brian earlier and he took the rest with him for us to talk” Jae brought Wonpil to his embrace.  
“I didn’t know you are this clingy hyung”  
Jae snorted and Wonpil giggled  
“I didn’t know that too until today”  
“Hyung, I have something to say”  
“I think I know what it is.. Let’s keep this to ourselves for now and we can slowly tell them, until you are ready.”  
Wonpil sits up and Jae immediately follows  
“Are you okay with that hyung?”  
“Of course I am. Isn’t that what we are scared of the most right now?”  
Wrinkles formed on Wonpil’s temple. He really is worried of Jae. What if Jae just wants to be responsible of the kiss earlier? What if it was just an impulsive move? What if his feelings were not that deep as I? What if he’s just confuse? If it’s like that, then I can just use that as an excuse. He doesn’t have to be accountable of this mess.  
“Jae hyung, I am giving you the last chance. You can just forget what happened today, everything we said. I will be your friend for the rest of our lives, we can just go back to how we used to be. Then you don’t have to complicate your life. I’ll deal with my own feelings—“  
“Me? How about me? If I ask you the same question, are you going to give up on me? When we finally got to know each other’s feelings?”  
Wonpil looked down, he did not expected to be caught up by his own question. Jae is right. He can’t give him up right now. He wants to be by his side. He shook his head. Jae sighed.  
“What if you’re just confused hyung? Are you really sure about me? I’m a guy hyung and so you are. You have to know that once people find out, they will point fingers”  
“Come here Wonpil-ah. Look at me” Wonpil moved closer, just an inch then their foreheads are gonna touch. Jae looked at him with worries.  
“I really really like you Kim Wonpil, more than you can imagine. I thought about this very hard. You ask me if I’m just confused? I asked myself a hundred of times about that too but no.. I’m not. I know what I feel.” Jae warmly smiled at Wonpil and Wonpil felt that sincerity, he feels like he is about to cry over this speech. Jae filled that little gap and now their foreheads touch, he closed his eye before he continued his sentence. “Scared? I am but don’t give me any last chance, just.. please don’t let me go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m done being angsty.. Prepare for the next chapters!


	5. Play With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae only wants Wonpil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please send me help!

The next day, Jae woke up looking for Wonpil. He observed his surrounding first and it’s Wonpil’s room but there’s no sign of him.

He went outside to check, instead he saw his busy bandmates. Dowoon is cutting meat, Young K is following Dowoon’s heeding, Sungjin is following their mess while Wonpil is preparing the utensils to use.

“Good Morning hyung” Sungjin said. Not really surprised by seeing him come out from Wonpil’s room. Everyone chirped in after hearing Sungjin and he gave a sleepy smile to all of them, stepping closer to see what’s their up to and naturally walking up to Wonpil.

“Meat in the morning?”  
“Yeah, why not?” Young K chuckled  
“Its just.. well.. why not.” Jae tried to come up with reason but couldn’t find a word, blame it on the morning. So Dowoon laughed along with Young K at Jae’s response.

The members just played today and did not do any practice at all. Sungjin reasoned out that they needed time to talk, open up and make sure there is no problem with the team. He said that the management allowed him to do that today despite of the need to practice for the upcoming concert.

That night they were a little bit drunk, well.. not Wonpil and Jae since they are a light drinker and so they decided to drink lesser than their alcoholic tolerance in case they make a mistake. They just want to be careful but still they held hands under the table while playing and talking with the rest. They haven’t got caught.

The night became deeper and Jae is sitting on the front porch while staring at the sky. Wonpil has long sleep at the couch and Dowoon on the carpet beside the sofa while Sungjin is cleaning up. Young K tapped Jae with a cold beer on his shoulder and passed it to him. Jae gladly accepted.  
“How was yesterday?” Young K asked  
“It was fine. As you all can see, we are getting along”  
“That’s obvious but it seems like something more than that happened.”  
“What do you mean?”  
Young K shook his head with a known smile  
“Congratulations for manning up hyung. I’m proud of you” He said in mixture of English and Korean. And their beers clinked. Jae smiled a bit, knowing what Young K means but not really trying to imply that he was caught but of course, they’re caught and he’s just glad that Young K, his best friend, is open about it.

Wonpil and Jae played like how they used to be. They didn’t really tried to be that ‘entitled’ of what they have because Wonpil thought that it would be too greedy of him while Jae thought Wonpil wouldn’t like it but a spark always shows when their eyes meet or when they touch. Tension is always there, it has the feeling of sweetness and they wish they can have more time to be alone, together.

Wonpil, just like always, is still doing his own usual thing.. like kissing Jae on the cheek without his consent and running away even when the members are present. Members are so used to him doing it that they don’t care anymore and Jae hates how Wonpil teases him this way, he is supposed to feel like he doesn’t care about it but even though he still act like it, startled and annoyed, he can’t take his smiles and blushes away. It’s like there is an extra mile for his heartbeat. It used to be bittersweet but not anymore and he wish he can reciprocate it everytime.

“Wonpil.. come here” Jae called out to Wonpil. Today is just one of those days when Jae is playing his League of Legends and Wonpil is hanging out in his room. Out of boredom, Wonpil walked around to the small room and opened every drawer of the cabinet to look at the little things Jae has and also to clean up a little bit but after hearing Jae calling his name, he immediately walked to him.  
“Why?”  
“Sit here” Jae pushed his lips forward pointing to a seat beside him. Wonpil obeyed wondering what he wants. And the second he sat down, Jae immediately placed a kiss on Wonpil’s lips. It was just a quick kiss but Wonpil couldn’t help but get startled. Well, that’s Jae. He’ll never get used to this.

“I don’t wanna play anymore. I feel guilty wasting our precious time like this”  
Wonpil quietly laughed with fondness in his eyes as Jae turns off his laptop. He’ll never gonna get used to this and Wonpil will say it a hundred times.

“Why are you not asking me to play with you?” Jae whined, giving his full attention to Wonpil.  
“You’re already playing”  
“You know that’s not what I mean”  
Wonpil smiled at Jae, of course he understands what he means.  
“Just.. I don’t know how to. I feel like I shouldn’t ask you anything or I’ll get used to it. I just want us to be like how we are. You getting annoyed of anything I do and I will just accept it then you tease me and I laugh it off. Just that.”  
Wonpil laughed lightly, embarrassed to confess.  
“Are you not tired of it?”  
“Why would I when its you. If you act like how you usually do it means you care about me. It will tell me how you truly feel”

Jae placed a long kiss to Wonpil’s lips before he said, “You are just afraid.” Jae brought his hand to Wonpil’s nape so that he can only put his focus to him. Only him. “Didn’t I told you already of what I feel? Please don’t make it more difficult for us Wonpil. We’re the only one here right now. Tell me what you want.”  
Jae said it. Everything in his deepest thoughts. Those few words that he always wants to tell Wonpil until Wonpil can put his trust on him.  
Wonpil feels like he’s melting, he never expected anything like this. He used to think that he already accepted his fate but Jae is here right now, asking what he wants. How did this blessing ever happened to him?  
“I.. want you.. hyung” Wonpil said with insecurities and he didn’t like it, he wants to sound confident until JE is convinced and so he said it again “I want you, Park Jae Hyung”  
Wonpil said under his nervous breath. Jae nodded and hugged Wonpil tightly. Wonpil did the same.  
“You can have me. Everything” Tears welled up on Wonpil’s eye  
“I’m sorry, I’m too greedy”  
“No, you’re not. You have every right to have me. Take everything but then let me have you”  
“Sure”  
“Great, then we have a deal”


	6. They Are Just Thankful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The members knew it all along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously.. I can’t handle this fic..

Wasn’t Wonpil the most confident member of the band? His confidence never falter that even all of his bandmates are so envious of his ability and wonders how he even do that but for the past few months, Wonpil was very anxious of himself. He keeps on worrying about his steps and so this time, even though Jae is not half as confident as Wonpil, he always do his best to reassure him that everything is alright, that they are not doing anything wrong and Wonpil who would only trust the way Jae looks at him has grown stronger. Wonpil became braver. 

He used to be so afraid in making the first move but now, he can initiate them. He used to only kiss Jae in the cheek but now when they are alone, he can bravely kiss him on the mouth and Jae enjoys it. Enjoys every change he sees in Wonpil.

Wonpil always gives them the best advise and the best support when they are in trouble and now that he has put Wonpil into this, he is sorry but he is glad that Wonpil is getting better and is not as anxious as he used to anymore. Jae doesn’t want to keep Wonpil worried, call it selfish but still, he doesn’t want to let him go.

They are getting better at playing their own game too. They are not sure if the rest of the members has already caught on to their behavior that they are still trying to hide but as long as they are happy right now, it should be fine. It has to be fine.

This time, Jae walked to Wonpil’s room and dragged his body to Wonpil’s bed. He is stressed these days for thinking about the closer date of their comeback, Wonpil is stressed too because of the deadlines but its better to be stressed and healed by each other, together.

Jae stretched his long arm to the empty space of the bed and Wonpil almost immediately lied down next to him, bringing his head to Jae’s chest as they snuggled until they fell asleep.

Just like anyone, they are just an ordinary couple. Simple and easy but because they are celebrities of course it will never be easy.

“We knew it all along”  
Dowoon started. Jae looked at Young K, accusing him but Young K gave an I-didn’t-know look. Dowoon noticed it.

“No one told me hyung. Its just obvious. I’m sure Sungjin hyung also knew it, right?”

If Dowoon caught on well its not a surprise if Sungjin too. Dad’s instinct never fails.

Sungjin crossed his arms.  
“Yes I do, it was easy. Even before you got into that serious fight, I had the feeling but were you alre-“

“No hyung, we are not. It was after.”  
Wonpil said shyly and Sungjin nods.

“You look like you were together even before the day you fought. I really thought it was just a lover’s quarrel.” Sungjin said

“Really?” Jae wonders, thinking of his actions back then and Young K, as well as Dowoon nodded in agreement.

Jae knew he can be very obvious but he didn’t know that Wonpil’s actions also shows the same thing when he haven’t noticed it. He thought he’s really dumb. So dumb.

“Why hyung? What’s with the reaction?” Dowoon asked as he noticed how Jae’s eyes are blinking too much

“Nothing. I just felt dumb. How come you guys knew when I didn’t? I just learned it at that day”

“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, It’s my fault” Wonpil said to the members.

Jae immediately held Wonpil’s hand to stop him from blaming himself. Wonpil looked to Jae.

“No its not. It was our choice” Jae frowns. Sadness showing in his eye. Jae really hates how Wonpil would blame himself to every situation even from the beginning but even though he’s like that, he still loves him. So much. 

The rest of the members fell into an awkward silence, a bit surprised of the action. Jae, their hyung, was never soft as that and they are not really gonna get used to this but they will.. in the future and so, Sungjin smiled warmly at them.

“We’re happy that you finally got together. Its late but congratulations, you have to be happy okay?”

Wonpil and Jae looked at the members in front of them. Jae isn’t sad anymore, Wonpil isn’t anxious anymore, they feel at peace.

“Congratulations hyungdeul” Dowoon also said and Young K smiled widely, proud of them.

Wonpil smiled shyly, a tint of blush in his cheek grew, water welling up in his eye. He is too overwhelmed and thankful for his members. This is what all he needs. Just their recognition even if the rest of the world won’t.  
“Wonpil..”  
Jae called out and Wonpil looked to Jae, water still lingering in his eyes. He leaned his head to Jae’s chest feeling embarrassed of his reactions right now. Wonpil can feel Jae laughing as his chest rises and fall. He can hear the rest laughing too. He smacked Jae’s arm and he felt an arm around his waist. He feels warm. He is thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheeeeeeessssssyyyyy!!!


	7. A Curious Day Is A Better Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil learns twitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it guys!

Today is just an another curious day of Wonpil. When Jae tweets, he always receives notifications that he already put in mute but Wonpil is always curious of what Jae tweets and what are the replies and even though he doesn’t understand most of it as it is in English, he knows his name is there and he wants to know why.

One day Jae saw Wonpil holding his phone. Wonpil looks like he will bury a hole on it as he stared seriously, scrolling down into whatever it is. Jae came to sit by his side to see what he is scrolling and its Twitter, in English comments.

“What are you trying to look at?” Jae asked.  
“I don’t get most of the comments hyung but why is my name in there?” Wonpil can read alphabets but he can just really read and not understand most of it though he is working hard to learn it. “I have always been curious since then, I didn’t mean to peek but why is my name always showing up when you tweet? What did I do? There is Sungjin hyung, Brian hyung and Dowoon but why do I see my name more often than them?”  
Wonpil asked seriously, he is really curious about it and Jae chuckled. It looked so innocent and pure that he found it too cute. Ugh! He wants to put Wonpil in his pocket.

Jae took his phone and showed some current tweets he did. A diss and some posts that are related to Wonpil and him that My Days does. Jae is always amaze of how My Days can create amazing fan arts, poems and fic— forget the last word.

“You see, I tweet a lot of stuff about you, whether dissing or describing you”  
Wonpil listened attentively not even caring about the words Jae are using cause he’s so used to it.  
“That’s why even if I’m not tweeting about you they would be teasing me about you”  
“Do you always think about me? Or you just wanna diss me?”  
“What do you think?”  
“Diss” Wonpil said in bitterness with a pout and Jae smiled widely. This is why he likes teasing Wonpil. He just want to see that cute face but of course he still like it better when Wonpil shows his signature sunshine smiles but that only shows when he is truly happy.  
“You’re right but that’s not entirely true, I like teasing you but most of the time I just can’t stop thinking about you. Don’t you think I’m obvious?”  
Wonpil wants to pretend that he is not really interested with what he heard but his heart is really fluttering.  
“Hyung, we’ve been together for five months and I can’t believe how cheesy you still are”  
Wonpil said in pretend of annoyance.  
“Tss.. Its your fault”  
“What the? WHY IS IT MY FAULT?!”  
“Why are you raising your voice? ITS YOUR FAULT! If you didn’t try to flirt by kissing, teasing me and saying I’m pitiful then I won’t be curious of why the heck you do and say those. I won’t be like this if you didn’t do anything Wonpil!” Jae pinpoints.  
Wonpil raised a brow.  
“Why is that my fault?! You are responsible of your own feelings Park Jaehyung!”  
“No way, you take responsibility! Its your fau—“  
“EXCUSE TO YOU LOVEBIRDS! I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE FIGHTING ABOUT BUT PLEASE SHUT UP, YOU GUYS ARE LIVING WITH THREE SINGLE MEN!” Said Young K from his room.  
“Sorry!” Wonpil replied and playfully slapped Jae’s arm with a wide smile. Then he leaned in to Jae’s ears in half screaming and whispering tone.  
“Fine! I’ll take responsibility of you!”  
The air from Wonpil’s breathe tickled Jae’s ear and so he laughed and his heart fluttered at the same time that he immediately showered kisses on Wonpil’s cheek that made Wonpil squeal as he can feel how it tickles him in the stomach.

After they calmed down, Jae leaned on Wonpil’s shoulder while Wonpil brushes his hand on Jae’s hair. As their free hand’s holding each other.  
“Are you okay with that though?” Wonpil said. “Will they get the hint of it?”  
“Do you really think they will take it seriously?”  
“Well.. I know there’s a lot who says they like us together but you know that they only say that. In the end they will still be against in this kind of relationship and the worst is they could turn their backs at us”  
“I have been doing this for a couple of years but you never got a hint of what I feel towards you, do you really think they will know?”  
“If they are as dumb as me, maybe”  
Jae sit up properly to meet Wonpil’s eye.  
“Hey.. You are thinking too much again. Don’t worry okay? Its under control”  
“I’m sorry”  
A frown formed on Jae’s temple.  
“If you are sorry then come here”  
Jae opened his arm widely and Wonpil already know what to do. He immediately embraced Jae and they hugged each other tightly until they decided to continue whatever they’re doing in Jae’s room so that the others won’t see them.


	8. The Snake And Its Gang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil won’t give his attention to Jae

“Wonpil, it’s your turn!”  
Jae said as he stood in front of Wonpil pointing his index finger to him. Wonpil is playing with Dowoon and Young K right now and so his eyes are stuck on his phone screen, he couldn’t understand what Jae is trying to say.  
“What hyu— Ahhh!!”  
“Hyung!! Hurry!!”  
“Yah! Dowoon-ah!”  
“Bri—HAHA!”  
“Good job!!”  
“Oh yeah!”  
Jae sighed, he will never get Wonpil’s attention this way. He knows it, based on experience.  
“Hey Brian, Dowoon when will you end the game? Can you give me back my Wonpil?” He said after sitting down as well.  
“What the heck hyung?” Brian gave a ridiculous look at Jae, quickly going back to his phone.  
“We will not give him to you hyung~ We’re gonna play all night” Dowoon teased and Young K laughed, giving his approval to Dowoon while their eyes are still on their own phones.  
Jae looked to Wonpil and he looks like he doesn’t really care about it.  
“Sungjin!! It’s late! Shouldn’t this kids sleep now?!”  
“AH HYUNG! Don’t be like that!” Dowoon and Wonpil whined in unison.

‘Ha! So he’s just going to answer if I do this?’ Jae thought.

Sungjin rolled his eyes as he look at the four sitting on the floor when there is a nice sofa in their living room.

“I don’t know. They’re having fun. Let them be.”

Sungjin joined the teasing and the other three starts laughing. Jae glared to Sungjin and Sungjin just shrugged it off but quickly walked to his room. In the end of the day, even if he is the leader, Jae is still his hyung.

Jae doesn’t notice but Wonpil is actually peeking from time to time, worried that Jae will really explode. Everyone knows how easy it is to upset this hyung. When Wonpil noticed that Jae is starting to get up, completely giving up on getting the younger’s attention, Wonpil quickly pulled him back.

“I’ll stop playing hyung” Wonpil quickly turned off his phone, taking him to his own room quickly so that he can’t argue no more because if he takes a single second late, he’s gonna be so dead. Dowoon and Young K just looked to the closed door and when they turned to their phones, they already lost. RANK DOWN. Both screamed turning the seconds of silence into a frenzy.

“What was it hyung?” Wonpil asked after closing the door and Jae went to the bed right away, lying on the edge, facing his back to Wonpil, pretending to sleep. “I don’t know” He said as he close his eyes. Wonpil quickly followed, hugging Jae from the back.  
“What was it hyung? Huh?”  
“I don’t know. I’m not in the mood”   
“I’m sorry Jae hyung~ you already know when we play”  
“I know!” Jae sits up. “I know! I’m just annoyed to myself when you don’t giving me your attention when I’m talking”  
He made a heavy sigh before he lied down again, turning his back to Wonpil then he started to mumble “You said you want me but what the heck is this?”  
Wonpil tried not to laugh, he is really finding this cute right now.  
“Are you jealous over a game hyung?”  
“Am I dumb?”  
“You are, right now”  
Jae turned to face Wonpil as his brows meeting, eyes getting smaller.  
“Fine, I’m being dumb! Are you happy now?”  
*Smooch* Wonpil placed a quick kiss on Jae’s lips before he answered.  
“No! Not until you stop yelling at me!”

Jae slightly calmed down. ‘This snake!’ He didn’t utter a single word. He’s too flustered like how he is every.single.time. Wonpil also calmed down a bit as he felt the warmness of the way Jae’s small, yet pretty eyes looked at him. In Wonpil’s world, those are his little stars and this face is his galaxy, probably the milky way, Jae skin is just too white and soft. Wonpil placed his hand on Jae’s cheek that was earlier embracing the older.

“Please don’t think that I don’t want you. I still want you. I always want you. I need you Park Jaehyung”  
Jae’s eye has been slightly shaken, finding it a bit embarrassing to look at Wonpil. Wonpil might not know but the drum beating in Jae’s heart right now is faster than the bpm of their own song, Warning.  
“Snake”  
Wonpil’s gummy smile showed up. Brighter than anything, brighter than the sun. He knows Jae is just being shy right now and that’s why, he is still happy even with that kind of response.

“Forgive me hyung”  
There’s a second of hesitation but Jae immediately said..  
“Fine” And he rolled his eyes. He really can’t resist his snake that is now excitedly wrapping his hand and legs to the poor chicken’s thin body. If Wonpil’s a real snake he must’ve already died a long time ago, he probably had sacrificed himself so that the snake won’t be hungry. Damn! Too whipped. Jae’s too whipped. He’s really the prey of this happy predator.

“What was it that you were trying to say earlier hyung? I’m really curious”  
“Just.. I want to write a song with you. Are you up for it?”  
Wonpil smiled excitedly.  
“Of course hyung!”


	9. Piri Piri Wonpiri Yeah (The YoungFeel Song)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil wonders if Jae has written a song for someone before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Arirang Music Access, do you remember when Jae ain’t gonna sing a song on public for his girlfriend? I’ll consider Vlive ‘the public.’

Wonpil and Jae decided to write for the fanmeeting. Jae has written songs with Sungjin and Brian so this time, its Wonpil’s turn and he is excited to do this however they don’t seems to find what they want to write.  
“What song should we write hyung?”  
“I’m still not sure. We have to do some brainstorming with that”  
“Okay then.”   
After the long silence, scribbling on a paper that doesn’t seems like will give them any ideas, Wonpil started to talk.  
“Hyung, have you ever tried writing a song for anyone before?”  
“I did”  
“Did you perform it in front of her?”  
“I did but I didn’t say it was for a her”  
“Did you have a boyfriend before?”  
“No. You’re the only one”  
“Ah, you must’ve liked someone else before me”  
“You’re the only guy I’ve liked and I wrote that song for you though”  
“Huh? For me? You did?”  
“Why can’t you believe it?”  
“Why can I believe it? I always doubt every actions you do before hyung. I was trying not to be delusional. When was it?”  
Jae acted like he’s thinking of when it was when in actuality, he remembers it as vivid as the day.  
“Thaaaaat waaaass... spring of 2017, in a Vlive episode where we write our own lyrics”  
“Ow, you liked me since then? There’s really a huge possibility that I won’t be able to catch that”  
“You were always stupid”  
Wonpil glared at Jae and hits him by the arm. Jae didn’t care and just continued..  
“The lyrics were very short but I wrote it with all my heart. I don’t even know if you got my point back then but I’m pretty sure, even if I ask you right now, you won’t remember it”

———————

Before starting their usual Vlive session, everyone was looking for Wonpil, they were trying to contact him but he couldn’t be reach and they realized that he left his phone on purpose at his bag and left with his camera.  
“He should just be somewhere near the river” Young K said and Sungjin nods in agreement because that’s how Wonpil anyway. The two of them knows it well, especially when its spring time. Wonpil really loves spring and when the flowers starts blooming he will always have the urge to take lots of photos of the flowers on the trees and anything else on the nature. Wonpil is always excited for those and the members knows that so well.

But Jae isn’t like Young K or Sungjin, Wonpil might really be doing those as he have observed for the past few years they were together as a band but still, if Wonpil doesn’t say anything, it worries him a lot and for sure he will react the same way if any other band member will disappear without saying anything, right?

Jae pretended that he wants to walk outside and the rest didn’t really find that suspicious. He only brought his wallet and phone with him and went to the river near the company. It’s too huge, how can he even find Wonpil plus there’s a lot of people. He thought of ways to find Wonpil and he came up with ‘If there are blooming flowers on a tree, there is Wonpil’. He walked and walked, he looked for anyone walking with a camera on hand, checkered clothes, shorter than him, black hair and especially looking at the blooming flowers on the trees and finally after walking and walking he found him.  
Wonpil is smiling as he scans the pictures he took. He looks so happy under the cherry blossom tree and its so pretty, Wonpil looks prettier than the spring. Jae’s heart beats fast, too overwhelmed for seeing the most beautiful human in this world. He feels so lucky to be seeing this but it makes him sad. It would be nice to approach him and hug him right now or at least hold his small hands and look at the pictures he took and tell him “You look beautiful than spring Wonpil” It would really be nice if he can do that.

“Wonpil-ah” Jae called. Jae’s voice tingled on Wonpil’s ear that he immediately turned smiling to his hyung still holding the camera in his hand.  
“Hyung, come here!” Wonpil excitedly calls to Jae.  
“Look at the photos I took”  
This would have been the most perfect time to say those lines in Jae’s mind but no. He won’t.  
“Wow, that’s pretty” Jae quickly looked at the cherry blossom trees in their surroundings as if he is looking for which tree was it that Wonpil tried to take a picture.  
“I took lots of them hyung. I want to change the picture on my phone so I went here and now I can’t choose which one I should use”  
Wonpil pouted still looking at the photos, scanning all of them but Jae is looking at him, caught by the charm of the younger and he suddenly swallowed hard trying to suppress whatever he is thinking about.  
“Hyung, are you listening?” Wonpil turned to Jae and it surprised him, eyes widening. Wonpil thought his hyung is being weird but it never crossed his mind what his hyung is thinking.  
“No—I mean yes, I’m listening. I’m looking at the pictures that’s why I couldn’t respond.. uhh.. I think this looks better”  
“This? I think its this one.” Wonpil points to the photos.  
“Then that’s it”  
“Really?”  
Jae nods and Wonpil smiled widely. He finally chose the picture he wants to use after concerning himself for quite some time, its too late when he realized that Jae is with him right now.  
“Hyung, why are you here?”  
“Huh? I’m just—“  
Wonpil gasped.  
“Are they looking for me? I didn’t tell anyone I’m going here. I also left my phone!”  
“No.. no one’s looking for you. It’s fine”  
“Really? Are you serious?”  
Jae nods and Wonpil sighed in relief.  
“I guess I should go back now” Wonpil said “Let’s go hyung”  
Jae followed but he walked a little slower so he follow behind Wonpil and he can look at him a little longer even if its just his back.

He thought to himself..  
‘I’m really doomed. What should I do?’  
And he heaved a sigh, the overwhelming feeling almost made tears fall down from his eyes.

Wonpil slowed down his pace so that he can walk with Jae side by side.  
“Hyung, why are you here?”  
“I’m just walking around”  
“You know what hyung.. sometimes I think you hate me but sometimes I think you don’t. You really confuses me a lot.” Wonpil chuckled though it was fake hoping Jae won’t caught on. Jae’s chest tighten, Jae wants to tell Wonpil how wrong he is. How he likes him so much more than he could imagine.  
“Why are you saying that?” Jae asked calmly.  
“I don’t know. I guess the atmosphere is just too beautiful it makes me want to be honest. I also just don’t want to be upset in the future about something you would say so I’m telling you what’s on my mind”  
Jae looked down and Wonpil is looking to what’s in front of him.  
“Do I hurt you?”  
“Sometimes”  
Jae looked to Wonpil when he responded so fast.  
“How can you say that as if its nothing?!”  
Wonpil chuckled at his hyung’s reaction.  
“Cause I want to believe that I’m just delusional. That none of what I’m thinking is true”

Jae wants to respond but Wonpil ran as fast as he can to reach the company doors and that bothered Jae until they started the Vlive.

Later on, they decided on the theme and its all about spring. Jae couldn’t stop thinking about Wonpil when it talks about spring. It reminded him of how he looked earlier and of what Wonpil said. Wonpil is sitting at the end with two more people distancing them, which is Sungjin sitting beside him holding a guitar, Young K next to Sungjin and Wonpil on the end. Dowoon is on his left. Wonpil is sitting too far away as if he is doing it on purpose to be away from Jae and that is frustrating in Jae’s part.

They decided on what they want to write and strangely the short yet the words that Jae wants to directly say to Wonpil is written and to make a little distraction after his confession, he wrote a part of Brian and about his name. Blue flower is the beginning cause Brian’s hair is blue.

When it was Jae’s turn Sungjin strummed the guitar, everyone starts doing the beat but Wonpil and Jae just started grooving into it before he started singing.

“When I look at you Kim Wonpil”  
Wonpil turned his head to Jae after hearing his name and his gummy smile showed up.  
“In your eyes, there is spring”  
Then when he looked away, it was Jae’s turn to look at Wonpil, wrong timings but still he continued to sing his part looking at Wonpil.  
“I like you, Piri Piri Wonpiri yeah.” Then he looked away, looking back to his lyric copy.  
“Piri Piri Wonpiri yeah eh eh oh oh~”

Wonpil’s part of the song ended and he hopes it was delivered to Wonpil’s heart. Jae likes Wonpil and that’s the truth.  
Jae continues to sing and Brian got so emotional all throughout the song because he honestly just wants to be called Young K, not Brian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally just watched the Vlive episode and written what they were doing.
> 
> Though it isn’t the best but I hope its fine.


	10. My Pretty Little Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Wonpil helped Jae cure his insecurities that turned Jae as the reason of his insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback from 2017.
> 
> Trouble I’m In by Twinbed on repeat.

Jae has always been insecure. So insecure about his eyes, his voice, his performance, himself. He’s always scared to look at the people. It was always like this since he realized that America is different from Korea. The cultural differences gave him so much hard time to adjust that he started questioning himself and his belief. It took him so long to become who he is right now, to be a part of a debuting group but, it feels like they are back from the start after going through some issues and separating from one member. Thankfully, they were given the chance to prove themselves again by writing two songs every month. It is the most difficult challenge they ever have even if you combine both trainee and debut days but they have to do it. Even if this is the scariest and the most nerve racking thing they’d have to do.

Fortunately, 2017 had a good start, there’s a hope for a chance to revive the band but still Jae can’t help to be stuck in his slump. His insecurities keeps eating him no matter what he do, he dislikes his non-improving voice, his compositions, everything. The more he look at the person he likes, the more insecure he feels, he hates himself again and again.

Jae stayed away from anything and everything. He tried to do some healing however its not improving at all and they still have to write more songs. Everyone is working so hard and he feels like a freeloader to them. Everyone is pressured, not just Jae. Sungjin can see Jae’s insecurities and he wants to try his best as a leader to do anything for his bandmates but he knows he is not the expert of that department so he let Wonpil do it for his stead.

Wonpil isn’t just a mom of the group for nothing. Wonpil takes care of everyone, he’s got the ability to make the members open up to him and he will never ever stop worrying about them once he realizes something is wrong.

Wonpil has been suspecting for quite sometime that Jae must be having a hard time but he couldn’t just put it into conclusion because he doesn’t want to assume. Of course, just like the other members, Wonpil is having a hard time too. Their friend left them and now they are writing songs every month. Its crazy for then but among the members, Wonpil has the strongest mindset. He always believes that ‘Everything shall pass’ and today is just another day of their story that they need to overcome.

Wonpil took a deep breath before he knocked the door of Jae, Young K and Dowoon’s shared room. It’s sort of a difficult mission for him because among the members, it has to be Jae and Jae is the most dangerous person to get near for now in his stands. Wonpil knew he’s developing some kind of strange feeling to his hyung and that’s why he wants to stay away but this is important and most importantly, Sungjin’s favor.

“Hyung~”  
Jae hummed, lying on the bed with his eyes closed. He couldn’t sleep because he keeps having so many negative thoughts.  
“Hi hyung”  
When Jae realized its Wonpil, he opened his eyes and check. Wonpil on the other hand, peeked on the empty room first before entering. His hands both clasped together, his obvious gesture when he is nervous or when meeting an important person in the management but since he is not meeting anyone from the management, he is just nervous to see Jae.  
“Pil, why are you here?” Jae quickly sat up, surprised to see Wonpil looking for him. Wonpil is usually with either Sungjin or Dowoon but with Dowoon most of the time, the two of them only talk when everyone is gathered or when they have important things to talk. Its not like Jae and Wonpil has a problem with each other, they are close but they just can’t find a way to communicate without getting nervous and without questioning themselves as a person.  
“I just thought I’d come by. Everyone’s on the kitchen right now, having pizza. Want to have some? I can bring it here. I’d—“  
Jae noticed how Wonpil talk, it could either be he is nervous or he’s just not used at talking to Jae. Jae realized, ‘are we this distant?’ And that’s why he cut off Wonpil and says..  
“I’m fine Wonpil, you can enjoy it” Jae gave a faint smile and Wonpil isn’t convinced.  
“But its your favorite hyu—” Wonpil realized that he’s being forceful right now and that’s bad. He’s afraid that Jae might get irritated so he quickly said without looking at his eyes.. “No, never mind. If you don’t want to eat I’ll just go. I’m sorry for bothering you hyung”  
Wonpil quickly closed the door and went to the kitchen before Jae could even react.

After a few minutes Jae came out from the room and took a sit beside Sungjin. Dowoon and Young K are sitting side by side, facing the other three. Wonpil is sitting on the right side of Sungjin and Jae is now on the left. He took a slice of pizza and ate quietly. Young K and Dowoon’s eyes widen, giving a quiet gasp before they looked at each other. Its been three days since the last time Jae came out of the room so how? Why? What happened? And they looked at Sungjin, then Wonpil and Wonpil wondered what’s going on so he looked at Sungjin and Sungjin smiled, acknowledging his skills but Wonpil still don’t get it. Wonpil looked at Dowoon and his Brian hyung for an answer but they won’t say anything but instead they smiled while Dowoon shows a thumbs.

Jae saw everything but he didn’t said anything, he just let them think whatever they’re thinking.

‘What’s wrong with them?’ Wonpil thought.

————-

“Hyung, hyung” Dowoon called to Wonpil who is having his alone time on the living room when Dowoon sat by his side.  
“Why?”  
“You are really awesome” Again showing two thumbs up on him.  
“Yah, tell me what’s going on”  
“Okay, first, Jae has been stuck on the room for three days already and he barely eats. Younghyun hyung and I keeps telling him to go out but he don’t. We all know he’s on a slump and so we are both trying so hard but nothing worked. You’re the only one hyung. How did you even do it?”  
“I—“  
“Hyung” Dowoon held both Wonpil’s hand and clasped them with his own. Wonpil’s a little taken aback with the gesture. “You did so well in making Jaehyung hyung come out of the room. Now, please do me a favor”  
Dowoon begs, eyes gleaming with determination that Wonpil got scared but curious as well of what kind of favor it is.  
“Jaehyung hyung hasn’t been taking a bath for full three days! He’s starting to smell like hamster, just like when Younghyun hyung doesn’t take a bath. Help me hyung. I’m just a poor maknae stuck with roommates who doesn’t take a bath. I have finally made Younghyun hyung take a bath earlier but Jaehyung hyung. Please” Dowoon whined, exaggerating and acting like he’s crying or being bullied. Just like how he always do. Wonpil couldn’t resist this maknae and of course he said sure. “I’ll try”  
“Really hyung? Thank you hyung. Really.”  
Dowoon immediately hugged his hyung.  
“I’ll treat you on a meal after Jaehyung hyung takes a bath. I promise”

————

“Hyung” This time Wonpil only knocked, slightly opening the door. Head sticking on the door.  
“Why?”  
Jae answered calmly.  
“Do you want to go out? Its January so I’m pretty sure this is the best weather for you out plus nothing can cause allergies”  
Jae thought for a few minutes and Wonpil waited patiently.  
“Okay”  
“Okay?” Wonpil said in a little high tone that he quickly hid himself behind the door due to embarrassment that Jae might think that he’s excited to go with him.  
“Are the guys going?”  
“I haven’t asked them but if you want I can—“  
“No need. We can just go. Just the two of us”  
“Actually, manager hyung is coming”  
“Ah.. really?” Disappointment is evident on Jae’s voice but he tried to compose himself. “Okay, wait for me”  
“Okay hyung, just take a bath first. I’ll prepare the things we’ll need”  
Jae hummed and Wonpil quickly left the room. He jumped silently. HE JUST MADE JAE TAKE A BATH! He keeps on laughing and laughing to himself in silence as he quickly went to his shared room of Sungjin and texted Dowoon. “Get your money ready. Wahahaha *evil emoji*”

Wonpil quickly packed what he needs. Phone, wallet, a small towel, umbrella, caps, face mask, water.  
Wonpil took a sit on the living room while waiting for Jae and when he saw Jae coming out from his room, he immediately stood up and brightly smiled at him that made Jae feel a little weird in his stomach, he couldn’t help but give a little smile too.  
“Let’s go hyung”  
“Let’s go”

 

—————

 

Jae wasn’t expecting that their manager isn’t going to walk with them and it seems like Wonpil already knows that part after separating with their manager who decided to stay in a convenience store.

Wonpil and Jae walked on the side near the river, its still a bit cold but they love the wind breeze brushing their skin that it brings so much warmth to their hearts. Especially to Jae’s.

“Hyung, why are you not speaking?”  
“Uhmm.. I don’t know what to say”  
“Are you really okay?”  
“I am. Why do you think I’m not?”  
“It’s just.. you know everyone’s worried right?”  
“I know. I’m sorry I’m no help these days”  
“Hyung, you know that’s not what we meant right? It doesn’t matter if you can’t contribute anything for now as long as you take care of yourself. You are very talented hyung and we want everyone to know that. Just remember that we are always by your side so please don’t just lock yourself in your room. Also, eat a lot. You can’t get any skinnier. Also, sleep well. Don’t think too much at night but if you can’t help it, come to me. I’ll listen to your rumbles. Also—“  
Jae looks down as they walk. Hands on his pocket.  
“That’s gonna be too much of me. Why would I even want to bother you?”  
Wonpil stopped from his tracks and held Jae’s wrist. He looked at Jae and Jae wants to avoid to the eye contact but he couldn’t help but look at Wonpil. Wonpil frowns and his hold to Jae’s wrist tighten.  
“Hyung, bother me. I want you to bother me. Please”  
“Why? I don’t understand”  
“You don’t have to understand. I just want to be by your side. I hate it when you act like an outcast. It breaks my heart to see you getting hurt because you think you’re not good enough. You are good enough hyung. You’re even much better.”  
Wonpil trailed Jae’s face.  
“Look at you hyung, you’re so handsome. Your fashion sense even today. How do you even do that? Your voice is so unique, its cool and sexy. When you perform, its like you own the stage, you’re always on fire. The crowd cheers us because you do so well in hyping them up. Also, you, Park Jaehyung is one of the best person I’ve ever met in my entire life, you can be so funny but you can be the most sincere and honest person, you are the strongest. I really like talking to you hyung because you always inspires me, the man who left his home and college to reach his dream, you are a Kpop star hyung, you worked so hard to fit in despite of the cultural differences and now you debuted with us. We may miss each other sometimes due to language barrier but you are improving so well hyung and in time I will learn your language and you will learn mine, we will better understand each other. You don’t have to doubt yourself hyung. Do you know that I always ask this to myself a lot of times?” Wonpil paused for a second before he continued.  
“How can Park Jaehyung be so cool?”

Wonpil got so lost with his speech that he got so breathless after speaking. Tears forming on his eyes. Jae, couldn’t utter a single word. He just stared at Wonpil blankly but a lot of things are going through his mind. He wants to cry, he wants to hold Wonpil in his arms, he wants to kiss him. He hates how Wonpil could speak like that. He knows that Wonpil is like this to everyone, he can be like this to everyone but when Wonpil compliments him, Jae can feel it deep inside. Its so true and too much for his heart to handle. He doesn’t know what to do. Its so unfair. Why does he have to fall for someone he couldn’t love? The more the world is against it, the more he falls in love. The gravity and its stupid rule. Tears slowly formed on Jae’s eyes as he think of what Wonpil said and most of all, to all the things what he can never do with Wonpil. He wishes Wonpil is his. He looks down.

“Hyung, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry”  
Thankfully there’s no people on where they stopped by. Wonpil glanced on every side to be sure. He immediately brought Jae to a seat near where they’re standing and grabbed the bag he brought and looked for the towel he brought. He softly wiped Jae’s tears as he looked at him with a sad smile.  
“Everything will pass hyung. Trust me”  
And Jae looked at him again with his deep deep eyes. Wonpil showed his gummy smile. With that Jae gently grabbed Wonpil’s hand to his lap so that he can stop wiping his tears. Jae took a courage to say..

“Thank you, Wonpil-ah. I must look like a fool right now but thank you”

Jae sadly smile and Wonpil felt like his heart crushed as he look at his hyung smiling like that and so in a Wonpil’s way, to comfort Jae, he softly brought Jae into his arms. Jae’s head on his shoulder while his left hand continuously circling his back. And with that Jae’s tears falls more. He embraced Wonpil back, tightly, and Wonpil felt weird, hot in a cold outdoor weather. He wants to let go of Jae but Jae doesn’t and so they remained on that position in a bit long making Wonpil question what’s really going on with himself.

After that day Jae and Wonpil has been closer than before. Wonpil shared a lot of stories of himself and so as Jae. Jae tried to forget what he is feeling for Wonpil, he wants to harbor that feelings so he can spend more time with him but everytime he feels like its too much for him to handle, he runs away and at those times, Wonpil would wonder why Jae avoids him. He is sure they are friends but there are times he feels like they aren’t. It’s like Jae hates him. Jae doesn’t even like to be alone with him. Wonpil likes it when its just them because they could share stories that they don’t tell others but it seems like Jae doesn’t feel that way and it hurts a lot. He misses Jae even if they can’t only talk for a day.

And Jae keeps running away like that, like a coward because his feelings has grown more than it should be and that’s wrong.

At some point, Wonpil started questioning himself. He sometimes wondered what does his feeling means. Why is he like this towards Jae. He has Dowoon, he opens up with Sungjin, there are times when he don’t talk with Brian and that’s fine but why is it so different towards Jae? What does it mean? He tried to be as broad-minded as he could be. He tried to figure it out but he couldn’t come up with a proper explanation.

—————

Young K and Wonpil are trying to come up with ideas for their future songs and with that, they started discussing love.  
“Brian hyung, what do you think love is?”  
“We’re always writing about love and you still don’t know? Its simple, love is when you start caring for someone—“  
“Do I love Dowoon because I care about him?”  
“Ouch, you should care for all of us Wonpil. We’re family”  
Wonpil chuckled, right, he should. He gestured for Young K to continue.  
“When I said care, it isn’t just caring like that. When you start caring about a certain person, there are butterflies in your stomach and there’s like a drum beat in your heart. You won’t realize but you will always think about that person then when you’re together in one place, your eyes will become a magnet, you’ll always look at them. Then when you two are alone, you will suddenly have this weird urges, you’d want to hug, hold hands and most important kiss! If you have those, you are definitely in love. A hundred percent. But of course, don’t give your hundred percent, love is a painful thing too you know. Either they do not know or know your feeling but they can’t reciprocate it, that’s the most painful part to the point of crying so protect yourself if you get those kinds of feelings because its not good plus we’re artists, relationships are not good for us. For now”  
“Sungjin hyung is right, you’re really an expert at this”  
Wonpil and Young K chuckled but in Wonpil’s mind he is slowly understanding it but how can a man like a man?

Wonpil has been feeling weird towards Jae for a long time but love? Is it really love? How is that possible? Why does it have to be like that? Wonpil has never fell in love (well yeah, he did when he was kindergarten) with anyone before and he finds it unfair to fall for someone this way. He is in love with a man and to make it worst, to his bandmate. This is basically impossible. Wonpil just want to bury the fact that he is different. It’s an embarrassment.

Wonpil cried to himself for the first time in a while. This is gonna be a real trouble. Wonpil is scared. He don’t know if he can manage this without getting caught but he has to unless he wants to ruin the band.

Jae just came back from the convenience store with his disheveled hair, he may look pitiful but he still make Wonpil’s heart skip a beat. That must be it. Wonpil couldn’t deny no matter how hard he try and the more he denies it, the more it hurts. He smiled to Wonpil as he waved the snacks he brought. 

And Wonpil thought, ‘There he goes again, smiling as if he did not ignored me for days’

Wonpil realized that this is gonna be difficult. Everything will pass? Screw that saying for now. He don’t think anything will pass, its more like there is no escape with this hyung that is becoming his pretty little trouble.


	11. How Deep Is Your Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dowoon observes JaePil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to How Deep Is Your Love, Jae and Dowoon version and got inspired writing this when I shouldn’t have.

Dowoon, even though he is the youngest and isn’t the best observer than his hyungs, aside from experiencing a relationship when he was younger, he has also seen how his friends (from Busan) fall in love and even at home, he knows how affectionate his parents can be with each other.

Dowoon has seen all kinds of things in between Wonpil and Jae. He has seen the way they look at each other, there are times when he thinks that they are on a secret relationship but he thinks the other way too. He’s been confused for as long as he can remember. He wants to ask the members (aside from Jae cause he knows he’ll just deny it) or his Wonpil hyung about it but he knows that it’s a sensitive topic and not a business to meddle with and so he just observed from afar. He watched how the sparks and the sadness glow every time their eyes meet. He watched how they argue in every little things but will always end up laughing together. He watched how they talk to anyone but he realized there’s difference when it’s just them yet he thought he could be mistaken and is just thinking too much. He is not even sure if the guys are open to such or are homophobic because they never talked about it but if you ask Dowoon, it doesn’t really matter. So he thought, the way their eyes lingering a bit too long with each other is just a natural thing until one day he saw his Jaehyung hyung that confirmed all of his suspicions to be true.

It was one of those nights when they are drinking reminiscing the old days and talking about the future together. It was 2017 so they were still sharing rooms at that time. Everyone’s wasted. Sungjin has already gone to bed, Wonpil is sitting on the floor of the living room while leaning his head on the sofa, Jae’s missing but probably on the washroom while Young K wasn’t able to make it to his bed and is lying on the floor in front of their room.

Dowoon sighed as he look at his messy hyung, luckily he’s still on his right mind and is now trying to drag him by his heavy feet to get him inside their room however with their small dorm, he can see the living room from afar and he just saw Jae walking up to Wonpil, probably trying to wake him up. Dowoon was going to ignore them to focus on how he should drag his Younghyun hyung but Jae was attracting too much of his attention when he crouched to meet Wonpil’s face, by the way he gently caressed Wonpil’s head, removing his hair from his face, admiring every single line on Wonpil’s face. Dowoon has never seen Jae that gentle to Wonpil and so he felt the urge to watch the rare moment and as he watch, Jae suddenly placed a kiss on Wonpil’s forehead. Dowoon dropped his Younghyun hyung’s feet on the floor. The sound should’ve distracted Jae but it seems like he didn’t hear anything. Jae must be really drunk, Dowoon thought. A few seconds later he saw Jae scratch—more of wiping his eye? Jae is crying.

It has been clear to Dowoon since that day. Jae likes Wonpil and probably Wonpil do too but they don’t know.

————

The first time Dowoon realized that Jae and Wonpil are finally together was when Jae came out of Wonpil’s room for the first time. It won’t be weird if it’s Wonpil going out from Jae’s room but it is when it’s Jae to Wonpil’s room. Dowoon watched how Jae naturally walked to Wonpil and how they smile to each other. It was different from the other days. He knows the rest were also suspecting it but they never talk and so Dowoon kept his own observations to himself.

Now, It isn’t just Dowoon but Sungjin and Young K surely knows, in fact, they all know it for more than six months already since the time they officially confessed that they are together however he saw how Jae and Wonpil are careful with their actions. They are still naturally doing what they have been doing so far however he never saw that gentle Jae he once saw before and he never saw Wonpil forcing Jae to do something affectionate with him aside from hugging but he does it with everyone so it isn’t really counted. Dowoon has always wondered how they do it. Is it even possible if you are in love? And so he always wondered how deep is their love for each other.

Dowoon realized that their love for each other is truly deep at the day that surprised them all.  
“Jaehyung-ssi needs rest for at least 2-3 weeks, it’s impossible for him to join any activities” is what their manager said. Everyone’s on their apartment when they were waiting for the update regarding Jae. Jae has been feeling uncomfortable for days saying his stomach hurts and so he was brought to the hospital for check up. He got diagnosed with Acute Enteritis and they have so much schedules that he’ll miss especially their first fan meeting that Jae still didn’t know that he cannot attend.

When the members went to the hospital, it was midnight. They just finished their EBS schedule for that day and Wonpil was obviously itching to see Jae and when they did, Wonpil ran to Jae’s arms immediately, crying and crying and Jae who still looks so pale and thinner than the usual tried to comfort him with what he can do. They told Jae what schedules he’ll miss and it’s obvious that everyone’s upset and Jae’s probably the most upset among them. He’ll miss the most exciting event of their career, it’s their first fan meeting and everyone knows how Jae worked so hard for their performance, he even wrote a song with Wonpil for My Days that they both are supposed to sing but because of the circumstances, all of those anticipations were ruined. Jae was so looking forward for that performance because aside from the fans, it was going to be special for the both of them yet, that will not happen anymore however he smiled, Jae tried so hard to smile for Wonpil. He hugged and wiped his tears away.

It was ‘the Jae’ that Dowoon saw a year ago. That rare moment he witnessed and now he is witnessing again. The only difference is it used to be one sided but now it’s the two of them and it’s more loving and caring. Too different from the Jaehyung hyung he always see in the apartment. Too different from how he usually treats Wonpil in front of them. And that was enough for Dowoon to know that his Jaehyung hyung loves his Wonpil hyung deeply.

“I’m really sorry for this one”  
Jae looked to the rest of the members afraid that they’ll be uncomfortable with their sight right now but actually more worried about Wonpil who always says that he doesn’t want to show this type of affection to Jae in front of anyone else however since he’s still clouded with his emotions he knows Wonpil won’t think about it. Jae’s actually leaning a bit to the bed’s headboard as his left hand is on Wonpil’s waist who is standing beside him, wiping his tears.  
“No hyung. We’re fine. Do you want us to—“ Dowoon gestured to the door then he looked to Sungjin and Young K who also got alert if any case Jae wants them to leave.  
“No, just stay there. We’ll just talk and then you guys should go home”  
They nodded and Jae faced Wonpil once again giving him his full attention.

“Come here” Jae whispered to Wonpil as he pull him to sit beside him.  
“Look at me” Jae said once more to Wonpil whose still covering his face because he couldn’t stop crying. Jae whispered some more words to Wonpil that the rest couldn’t hear until Wonpil looked to Jae. Dowoon as curious as he can be looked at them being shy and adorable to each other. Sungjin’s also looking at them but also shifting his eyes to his phone, checking the time while Young K is starting to drift off.

Jae smiled in adoration to Wonpil and Wonpil finally smiled but worries and sadness is still evident in his eye. They both held each other’s hands as Jae’s other hand is on Wonpil’s cheek. Jae leaned in to give a quick kiss on Wonpil’s forehead and Wonpil finally light up.  
“Should I just stay here?”  
“No. Go home and take a rest. You should go now okay? You have so much to do tomorrow”  
“But I don’t want to leave”  
“You have to Wonpil. They are also tired, you should not make them wait” Wonpil whined but what can he do, he needs to do his job.  
“Fine. I’ll leave now. Don’t miss me too much” Jae cracked with a wide smile and Wonpil grinned.  
“I’ll try. Go now” But they don’t let go of each other’s gaze nor their hands. Dowoon realized that they can be very cheesy. No, that Jae can be very sweet and cheesy. Jae finally looked to the rest but for unknown reason Dowoon shifted his gaze away from the two of them, too embarrassed to be caught that he’s watching.  
“Sungjin we’re done. You can go home now” Jae said still holding Wonpil’s hand and Sungjin nods.  
“Text manager hyung if you need anything. We’ll buy it for you” Sungjin replied.  
“Alright, thank you”  
Jae fixed his gaze to Wonpil for the last time while the rest are walking out of the room but Dowoon remained to wait for his hyung at the door and he saw them finally slowly letting their hands go but before they can fully let go, Wonpil leaned in to give a quick kiss to Jae’s lip.  
“Bye hyung. See you tomorrow”  
“Bye” They both said, a bit disappointed that they have to separate already.

Dowoon wasn’t a hundred percent sure before but Dowoon can see that Jae loves Wonpil, a lot. And he finally can believe that love-hate relationship do happens when the emotions are too strong but couldn’t show. Jae is a tsundere, as everyone knows and probably had a hard time understanding or accepting his feelings however he is now different and has finally accepted his own feelings by being the one who would always initiate over everything.  
And Wonpil even though he’s always honest for his reason at teasing Jae (because he is lanky and too pitiful in his eyes) surely couldn’t see Jae’s emotion because he is too blinded by his own, he didn’t know that the real reason why he can tease Jae with how he looks was because he has already set his eyes on him, always on him, he probably didn’t know that he loved Jae longer than the days he realized it.  
That’s just what Dowoon is assuming but it made him dream, hoping he can find someone someday who could love him like how Wonpil and Jae does to each other.

“Hyung” Dowoon called to Wonpil who is thinking too deep while waiting for their manager to get the car.  
“Why?”  
“It’s so interesting” Dowoon smiled to himself.  
“What is?”  
“You and Jaehyung hyung. It’s interesting. You look like an old married couple” Wonpil chuckled quietly at what he heard.  
“Really? I’m sorry for earlier. I just couldn’t help it. Was it too uncomfortable to see?”  
“No hyung. It wasn’t! You two are fine. You can just do that at the apartment too, we don’t mind just not too much cause you know.. we’re all single”  
Wonpil finally laughed, it reminded him of exact same words from Young K and Dowoon’s really glad to see him laugh. Everyone’s upset but they can’t all be upset and so Dowoon is really doing his role well as the maknae of the group.  
“Hyung, wanna know a secret?”  
“What secret?”  
“About Jaehyung hyung”  
But then the car already arrived and they have to go so Dowoon decided that he’ll say it when they arrive home however Wonpil got so curious that he had no option but tell him what that was. Sungjin and Young K listened attentively. They finally spilled some things they also saw during the past few years and that’s the first time that they really talked about Jae and Wonpil’s relationship aside from the confession day. Wonpil finally realized that the members doesn’t just approve them but also they are okay with such kind of relationships and he is happy even in this difficult times because the five of them have each other.

Wonpil just wished that Jae is with them right now so he can listen to the secrets the members are spilling about him and so he could tease him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write something else for this chapter but it didn’t work so I just skipped it and went directly to this one.


	12. Quietly Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They haven’t seen each other overnight and couldn’t help but miss one another.
> 
> Actually, it’s just JaePil in one room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad for not being able to write the supposed to be Chapter 11 because it’s somehow related to the last and this chapter with the last one. 
> 
> I didn’t intend to write this one but I was getting so emotional after the last chapter and decided to write a part 2, I hope its fine

It’s the day that finally Jae can go home after being stuck at the hospital for more than two weeks (including the day he escaped from the hospital to join the fan meeting). Jae arrived in the morning, the members was initially planning of taking him home however knowing the time of his release he just want the members to sleep instead. The rest do understand what their hyung means and so they complied.

When Jae entered the apartment, still carrying his bag, was caught in a surprise when the members welcomed him at the door and his boyfriend immediately latching to him, tiptoeing to wrap his hands to the neck of the older while he rests his head on his shoulder and Jae in a quick response, dropped his bag to hold the younger on his waist as he wear a big smile.

“Yah! Wonpil! Be careful!” Sungjin and Young K yelled in unison while Dowoon is excusing himself from the drama to take his Jaehyung hyung’s bag to his room. Jae glanced to the two assuring them that he’s fine and two finally got to breath. Those two swears that Wonpil is really giving them a heart attack.

“Wonpil-ah, everyone’s looking. Is that fine?” Jae asked softly.  
“I don’t care about them right now hyung. I missed you so much” And Wonpil tightened the hug.

Jae chuckled to his boyfriend’s unusual courage, making his heart skip a beat and miss the younger more than the days he couldn’t see him though they did met last night. Jae just let Wonpil hug him like that for a few more minutes because he never really want to care anyway, all he cares about is Wonpil’s thoughts and feelings.

The rest just cringed at Wonpil’s action though its normal to see Wonpil being clingy to anyone, still, it amazes them every time they see Wonpil clinging to Jae. First, Wonpil rarely whines like that when they are around, second, it’s not new but.. Jae reciprocating Wonpil’s affections is still fascinating for them. Over the years they saw him rejecting every affections Wonpil gives so seeing him being a fool for love is just.. wow.

“I missed you too.. so much” Jae said as he bury his head to Wonpil’s neck.

“Just tell us when you’re done. We’ll be in the kitchen” Young K said, eager to eat and not planning to wait more for the couple’s reunion.

“We prepared your favorite hyung” Dowoon added as Young K placed an arm to his shoulder leading him to the kitchen with Sungjin following.

The two are still on the same position. Jae gently patting Wonpil’s back and Wonpil just want to take all of the older’s scent, the scent that he missed so much.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Jae asked after a long silence.  
“Right! You should eat. We bought you lobster too” Wonpil smiled widely, finally looking at Jae, still not letting go of each other.  
“Really? Then we should go. I’m really craving everything right now”  
Before Jae let go, Wonpil stopped him to ask a question that made him blush.  
“Hyung, can I hug you later?”  
Jae smiled and squished Wonpil’s cheek, making him involuntarily pout.  
“Of course. I’ll go to your room tonight”

A smile automatically came out in his mouth even if it is being restrained by Jae’s hands squishing his cheeks. Wonpil’s just too satisfied with the answer that he couldn’t help but lean in to place a quick kiss on his boyfriend’s sweet lips. Jae’s taken a back for second but he realized that wasn’t enough and so he gave the younger another kiss and another and another, teasing each other. The rest are in the kitchen so for sure, it’s fine for them to be like this.

“I’m craving something else now” Jae said and with that Wonpil chuckles, biting his lips.  
“Shut up hyung. Let’s go”  
He gave Jae one last kiss before holding his hand, leading him to the kitchen where the others are.

———

“Hyung I’m gonna buy us snacks or something on the convenience, can you come with me?”  
“Me? Sure. I’ll be there in a minute” Jae responses to Young K, going to his room to take his jacket. Jae wonders why it has to be him when Dowoon is there but he doesn’t really have a reason to say no plus he misses the outside, it’s kind of a good excuse as well.

“Wonpil-ah I’ll go to the convenience store with Brian, do you want anything?” Jae asks to the younger that’s watching TV on the living room with the rest.

“Hmm.. You?”  
Dowoon and Sungjin’s eyes quickly shifted to Wonpil’s side, giving him a weird look as he smiles widely to his hyung who’s also laughing heartily at his joke. (Help those two, it’s too cheesy around here)  
“Seriously?” Jae asks, still chuckling.  
“Kidding, I have nothing in mind. Just buy anything you like”

“Are you not going to ask us hyung?” Sungjin asks in bitterness when Jae’s about to leave. He feels like Jae is totally forgetting them because of Wonpil. Seriously, what kind of spell did Wonpil put on Jae for him to be whipped like this?

————

“Why do you want to walk with me?” Jae asks to Younghyun walking to the nearest convenience store.  
“I missed you so much~” Young K said imitating Wonpil’s voice that had Jae cringing cause it’s totally weird to hear it from someone else but Wonpil. He almost hit Young K but ended up laughing instead.  
“Seriously hyung! You’re too whipped. I can’t handle you two” Young K says, still laughing while his hands are curling up remembering Jae and Wonpil’s actions.  
“Shut up! It’s our thing”

After the atmosphere has died down, Young K decided to ask some questions that was his real purpose for this whole convenience trip.. out of curiosity.  
“I’m just curious. How did you know that you like Wonpil?”  
Jae thinks for a little as he looks up at the starless sky with Young K before answering.  
“I.. just did. I don’t know how but one day I suddenly couldn’t take my eyes off him. I notice him more. I know I’m sensitive but I get more sensitive when it’s about him. I keep teasing him more even though I don’t mean it. I don’t know, I just like him”  
“There’s no reason? Really? Like a momentum or something then wah?”  
“You talk like Dowoon. What’s wrong? Do you finally want to confess to Dowoon?”  
“Hyung! What the? I’m just curious. CURIOUS”  
Surprising Jae with his loud voice that echoed in the neighborhood as Young K protests in English.  
“Okay, don’t shout. You’re making people stare at us”  
“I’m just really curious”  
“I get it. Stop repeating it. I know why you drag me here, what else do you want to know?”  
Jae calmly asks even though he doesn’t want to entertain his best friend anymore.  
“How did you know that you like guys? Was it difficult?”  
“It was difficult to accept at first but I can’t say that I like guys in particular. I just like Wonpil. I don’t get attracted to any guys. How about you?”  
Jae answers without hesitance that made Young K so sure that Jae is sincere and is telling the truth while here he is struggling in understanding his sexuality.  
“I don’t.. know.. I guess.. I might be just like you”  
Young K answers honestly though he is a bit hesitant but he feels like he can always trust Jae with his secrets and so he just did.  
“To be honest, I was never sure if Wonpil likes guys when I confessed, I just got lucky that Wonpil likes me too but I’m not sure about Dowoon, when I look at him, he looks like he adores you a lot. Do you want me and Wonpil to help you?”  
Young K really likes that Jae can understand him so well just like how he can with Jae. He knows that he is acting like how Jae does in the past except that the more he likes Dowoon, the more he shows his affection though he teases him too but it’s not like how tsundere Jae can be and it’s all for love, Young K just wants to look at him.  
“This is really difficult. I’m so jealous of you”  
“Be strong. Just come to us when you need help. Wonpil and Dowoon are pretty close, we might be able to get any answers”  
“Yes they are. Wonpil has been sleeping at Dowoon’s room when you’re not around”  
“What?!”  
“Stop acting jealous. I’m jealous too but you know that they’ve been doing that for so many years. What’s new?”  
“Kim Wonpil snake! He should know by now that he is not allowed to sleep at anyone’s room. I should never get sick or else that snake will ditch me”  
“Possessive”  
Jae glares to Young K and retaliates..  
“Why don’t you stop acting like a fangirl of Sungjin and confess to Dowoon?”  
“Do you think that’s easy?”  
“Shut up and do it”  
“Why do you always shut me up? You shut up hyung. I know what happened at that night”  
“What night?”  
“Secret~~”

Did Jae got an answer? No. Definitely not. Cause Brian is annoying.

————

Later that night, after Jae was able to catch up with everything he missed except for that secret that he wants to know so bad. They have all decided to go to their respective rooms and Jae quietly opening Wonpil’s room with a pillow on his hand. Wonpil’s who’s making his bed to make sure that Jae can sleep well tonight smiled brightly at seeing him.

They really enjoy this kind of thing. It’s not something that they always do but when they feel like it they just go to each other’s room but when Jae was sick, Wonpil can barely do anything but sleep alone in his room and miss Jae. Though he go to Dowoon’s room to sleep, of course it’s a whole lot different when it’s Jae. Wonpil do come a lot at the hospital with the rest but they didn’t have that much time alone and it would be embarrassing to make them also when he asks Jae to let him stay at the hospital he would always decline and Wonpil understands that. Though he feels disappointed, seeing how caring his hyung can be makes him feel proud and it’s giving him more reasons to fall for Jae.

The couple laid down as Jae wrapped his arms around Wonpil’s shoulder while their legs are tangled together. They are quiet as they fondly stare at each other, the sound of their breathing and the sound of the vehicles outside are the only thing that’s making a noise. 

“Why are we not talking?” Jae asks in almost a whisper with his soft and gentle tone. It feels weird to be quiet with Wonpil when all they do most of the time is talk, fight and laugh. Even at the Day6 group chat they are the noisy ones but right now, being silent feels so strange yet so comfortable. Jae didn’t know that he’ll like this side of them. They should have more of this times, maybe next time at a different place.  
“We are now” Wonpil said like how Jae did and it made his heart skip a beat.  
“I think I also like it when we’re not loud”  
“You just like me hyung that’s why you feel that way”  
Jae really hate this confidence of Wonpil simply because it’s true and he doesn’t want to admit it.  
“I hate you”  
“I love you too”  
“I didn’t miss you”  
“I miss you too”  
“Shut up Kim Wonpil”  
“Make me”  
“You just want me to kiss you”  
“So what?”  
“I won’t. I’ll make you suffer”  
“Let’s see who’ll suffer more”  
“Yah!”

Jae was reminded of the day when he accidentally teased Wonpil with his fashion that got Wonpil sulking all day and he didn’t allow Jae to talk to him, just like what he always does when he avoids Jae when they were not still together (He do it too he just never realized it). He can still handle it when they were not yet together because it was also his way to avoid Wonpil but after getting together being all this and that, he felt that not being able to talk and touch Wonpil was the worst punishment and he doesn’t want it to happen again.

“Why are you always mean?” Wonpil says. Acting like a poor victim, pouting.  
“You’re the one who always say I’m pitiful”  
“I’m just saying facts”  
Jae snorts at his nonsense.  
“You’re not going to get away with this”  
“I—“  
Wonpil couldn’t say anything more when a pair of lips mashed against his own. He can feel Jae sucking his lips and a sudden bite before Jae stared at his red lips. Wonpil hits Jae on the chest..  
“You bit me!” Wonpil glares at him before he bite Jae’s lips too.  
“Ah! I’m gonna be bruised by that”  
“You started it!”  
“You’re annoying me”  
“Then watch me annoy you more”  
Wonpil pushed Jae for him to lay his body on the bed and started attacking him with kisses. Jae held him at his hips, brushing his hand to Wonpil’s armpit to tickle him.

They both screamed laughter and more of weird noises as they roll making bang sound on their bed that are doing disturbing the other rooms.

“Uhmm.. Are we still watching this anime?” Young K asks awkwardly to Dowoon after hearing all the noises from Wonpil’s room. Young K and Dowoon has planned to watch the new anime that Dowoon has been recommending and finally just had the time but hearing the couple on their room being so disturbing that is making Dowoon’s ear gone red, overthinking what’s happening on the other room, he doesn’t know what to do but he doesn’t want to postpone the plan either.  
“Yeah.. Let’s just put the earphones on full volume”  
“Right. Le-let’s start”

While Sungjin on his room tries to put his pillow over his head hoping he can sleep. He will tolerate this tonight as an understanding that the two just missed each other so much but this makes Sungjin feels lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BriWoon? I’m not planning to write for them. I love the ship (second to JaePil) but I want to keep this fic JaePilcentric. So I’ll just mention them from time to time if I want to.


	13. You And I Are A Perfect Image

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae wants to take selfie because Wonpil’s eyes are too pretty

Concert at Moscow just ended last night and luckily they were all given the freedom to do whatever they want for a week. Today, Young K and Dowoon spent the whole day together, those two are really becoming suspicious these days but they don’t really want to think so much about it unless they have the proof. Sungjin went shopping all by himself while our couple had their own little date.

They can’t say that its their first time to have a date outside but its sort of like that. Doing outdoor dates in Korea is mostly impossible for them but they did have a little time when they went to Jeju Island. That was the time when they were filming for reality show. Those were the times when they secretly sneak out at night after filming and they always wake up too sleepy but it was all worth it. Among the members even if they noticed how they look bad in the morning, no one really dared to ask, those two slept on the same bed anyways. Who knows what they were doing every night. They also had a little eat out or tour when they were overseas but because of the short amount period of time, they spent it more on practice, rehearsals on stage and sleeping.

Today, is their most awaited day. They just want to make good memories for their first real outdoor date and visiting some great places in Amsterdam is a must.

Wonpil decided to take Jae on skating since he knows that Jae is good at it, he wants to learn.. nahh.. scratch that, it’s just an excuse, in all honesty Wonpil just want to hold Jae’s hand but Jae didn’t know that. All Jae feels right now is excitement to play with Wonpil on the rink that he missed.

“Hyung, hold my hand.. I.. ahh!”  
Wonpil fell on the cold ice rink.  
“Hyuuung~”  
Wonpil whined.

There are some people who are looking at them as they know who they are but to give them their free time, of course they just watch as the two of them have fun. Some has already started gossiping on Twitter and other SNS but to everyone it was just a cute, sweet and funny situation. They are just probably thinking ‘They keep fighting but now they are touring together’ and fans will just enjoy it. No one will ever think of any malicious things about them anyway because that’s how they are. The epitome of Tom and Jerry.

Jae immediately skated to Wonpil and grab his hand to help him stand up. Jae forgot to hold Wonpil earlier, he was too excited to play that he thought Wonpil could catch up.  
“Are you okay?” Jae asked as he check if Wonpil got injured.

“I’m fine hyung. You’re just too fast.”  
“Why would you even choose this if you can’t skate”  
“Says who agreed immediately” Wonpil rolled his eyes and Jae chuckled because he’s right anyway.  
“Fine. I lost. Let me teach you”  
Wonpil smiled right away. Excited to learn and to hold Jae’s hands.

They are now face to face as both of their hands are clasp. Jae is moving backward while pulling Wonpil to move forward. Wonpil is a bit nervous, afraid to fall but the way Jae guides him, at the way his eye sparks when he speaks gives Wonpil courage just like every time. And so Wonpil only looked to Jae’s eye as he move forward then finally Jae let his hand go and he glided by foot to foot. Left, right, left, right. Wonpil smiled like sunshine as he could be, enough to melt all the ice on Amsterdam. He moved, he can do it, still a little bit trembling but he is starting to find his balance and Jae smiled happily, like a father teaching his son to walk. Jae glides backward, a meter away from Wonpil’s distance as he stretch his hand, indicating Wonpil to grab it and Wonpil glides forward but when Jae felt like Wonpil is going to reach him, he glides backward and again and again and again until Wonpil is tired. Jae knows it and so he moved forward immediately to wrap Wonpil on his arm, tapping his shoulders. Wonpil almost fell on Jae’s arms but he tried to control his balance even though he’s tired so that it won’t show his too much affection. Wonpil still smiled widely, too happy that he can finally skate.

“You did it” Jae said a little too close to his ears. Wonpil didn’t look at Jae but he knows his eye is on him. He nodded and smiled.

“Since I have learnt now, you should go ahead and play now hyung. You should have fun”  
“Are you sure? Aren’t we playing already?”  
“I’m too boring since I can’t catch up. I’ll learn it and we should do this again. I’ll be here in the corner”  
Wonpil skated away from Jae, slowly and carefully and Jae didn’t really mind since Wonpil is a very determined and passionate guy, if he wants to learn something, he will do everything he can so that’s what Wonpil must be doing right now.

Wonpil just looked at Jae skating in speed and excitement as they look at each other. Wonpil chuckled at how childish his hyung looked right now. He immediately grabbed his phone and took pictures that no one will ever have but him. Right now, everything seems so perfect and he is happy.

“Wonpil-ah. Let’s leave some memories in here”  
“What do you wanna do?”  
“Pictures?”  
“Okay”  
Wonpil is ready to pose but Jae thought of something.  
“Piri..”  
Jae only calls Wonpil like that when he wants to say something sweet but most of the time is when he ask favors (insert Wonpil rolling his eyes)  
“Your eyes always look beautiful but they are prettier tonight. How about we take a picture like this?”  
Jae showed the angle to Wonpil. Wonpil found it cute as it will only show their eyes and it will also expose the beauty of the building that’s like a castle at their back.  
“Perfect” Wonpil said and Jae smiled.  
“Ready?” Wonpil hums. And Jae took the photo.  
After that, they took more shots and Jae immediately picked the photos that he should post on Kilogram.

Wonpil looked at him with a smile as they both sit side by side on a cafe. The night is going deeper and people are slowly going back home. Wonpil is enjoying everything right now, the background view, his view and the ambiance. Jae is really beautiful tonight, he is still smiling at the photos as he pick the most perfect and the prettiest. He is just too excited to share his happiness in the world. Wonpil looked to his surroundings before he looked to Jae to give him a quick kiss near his eye.

“What was that for?”  
“For being proud of your eyes”  
Jae smiled shyly. Wonpil’s right, Jae didn’t even realize that, all he wanted was to take a photo of Wonpil’s eyes but he showed his as well.  
“I’m proud of you” Wonpil said.  
“Why are you like this?” A sudden flush of red tint covering his face. Wonpil smiled, he’ll never get tired of the flustered Jae.  
“Your eyes are very pretty hyung. So pretty.”  
Wonpil quietly said as if his words can bring peace on earth and Jae can’t help but panic a little, his heart is beating too fast with the simple words Wonpil is telling him. 

Why am I like this? Jae thought.

“Y-yah! D-don’t say that!”  
Wonpil’s calmness broke after hearing his hyung’s stuttering. He immediately laughed out loud.  
“Did you just stutter? HAHA! SO CUTE!”  
You know with Wonpil’s usual self, he can’t help but squeal every time he sees something cute.  
“Sh-shut up Kim Wonpil!”  
“You’re doing it again!” Wonpil is still laughing.  
“You are causing a scene now Wonpil” Jae pretends to look at his surroundings but that’s not what he really cares about right now. It’s the fact that Wonpil is laughing at him for getting flustered over nothing. He hates how weak he is for Wonpil.  
“Okay hyung.. I’m sorry” Wiping his tears of joy as his laugh falls into silence. He likes teasing his hyung but he should know his limit, especially when they are outside.  
“Let’s see what you got there” Wonpil quickly changed the topic and looked at what photos he chose to post. Jae will just think of his revenge later.  
“These. Is it good?”  
“Hmm.. Its pretty hyung.. pfftt” Wonpil covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing. He just can’t help but laugh when he says ‘pretty’. He will never forget Jae’s flustered face. Wonpil pretends to clear his throat as he can feel Jae glaring at him. He didn’t looked at him. He is too afraid to meet the older’s eye.  
“You’re lucky we’re in public right now. You’re gonna be so dead later.”  
Wonpil felt threatened, he knew Jae’s not joking.  
“I’m sorry Hyung~ I won’t do it again” He quickly replied.  
“No Wonpil. There’s no second chance”  
“What do you want hyung? Huh? I’m sorry..”  
“Don’t talk to me” Jae went back to what he is doing and he was finally able to post the pictures in Kilogram, he was so happy choosing the photos earlier but now it all feels embarrassing and he will definitely have his revenge later.  
Wonpil pouted  
“But it was true hyung.. Your eyes are really pretty. What do you want me to do? Look at this.” Wonpil shoved his phone to Jae’s face. He showed the photo they took earlier where their eyes are the only one showing. “It looks so perfect, your eyes looks so perfect. It’s especially perfect with me”  
Jae just glared at Wonpil again but he admits that, he likes what he is hearing. 

Of course, you should only be perfect with me. Jae thought but of course he is doing his best not to show it.

Everything Wonpil is trying to do seems like’s not working at all and so he whispered something to Jae’s ear that earned him a big smile. He won.. He thought.  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-

“I’ll buy you a game”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pictures that had my heart skip a beat.


	14. Second Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil overthinks and Jae is just there to save the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahh!! I was so so so busy these past few week..

There are so many times in Wonpil’s life where he thought he can be fine with his unrequited love. Where he can be satisfied at looking Jae from far away. Where he thought laughing and crying together is enough. Where he thought stealing kisses is gonna make him happy but now seeing Jae here by his side whose lying in his lap as they both watch a TV program in the living room, he thought if he settled for less, if he didn’t hold on to Jae at that night in fear of being judged, he won’t be here with him right now. Is he becoming greedy now because they are together? Maybe he is.

“You’re distracting me” Jae says. Eyes on television, making Wonpil’s thoughts disappear.

“Huh? Sorry” Wonpil didn’t realize that he’s been staring at Jae for too long. He immediately looked away, going back to the TV program that he long forgot.

“What are you thinking about?” Jae turned his body up front to see Wonpil looking at the television. He lifts the under of Wonpil’s chin upward with a finger making Wonpil’s face raise up a bit but when he didn’t hear any response, he did it again, and again. 

Wonpil, knowing his personality, he doesn’t really want to entertain how he feels about Jae all the time or he’ll be very clingy the entire day and he doesn’t want it, because what if one day Jae gets annoyed? 

He is trying so hard not to care about the finger that’s poking his chin. He is holding the urge to look at Jae or he won’t be able to handle his own heart bursting into emotions again.

“Kim Wonpil... why are you not answering?”

He is still continuously poking the under of Wonpil’s chin and Wonpil is still working so hard not to look.

“Piri.. If you don’t look at me in the count of three, I’ll make you suffer for the whole week.. 1..”

Wonpil won’t barge. He doesn’t care about whatever suffering it is (?). “Two..”

“...and a half..” Jae feels like even if he says ‘three’ with Wonpil’s stubbornness, he is not gonna be scared.

Jae quickly sits up, holding both Wonpil’s cheek with his hand “three” then their eyes meet.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing hyung” Wonpil says in poker face and lifeless tone. Making Jae worry.

“It doesn’t sound like nothing to me. Are you sick? Did something happened? Are you writing and it’s not going well?”

Wonpil stares at Jae. He feels so lucky to have this kind of person who would always worry about him. Who knows that Jae is actually like this. He teases Wonpil in front of everyone like its a second nature but when they are left alone, he is this affectionate, like a second nature.

Wonpil wonders what is Jae’s real nature.

“Hey, where is your brain going? Are you even listening to me?”

“I am. I’m just thinking of a lot of things”

“Are you okay?”

“I am hyung. Sorry” Jae looks at him worriedly as he leans in to kiss the top of his head.

“I told you not to be sorry all the time. It’s not your fault if you don’t feel okay. Our emotions can really be weird sometimes so just tell me when you’re not okay. I won’t ask why until you tell me yourself. I’ll just be here. Okay?”

Wonpil nods and Jae kisses him one more time on the forehead. Jae rubs his finger to Wonpil’s cheek as he gives a small smile to him.

Wonpil on the other hand feels so overwhelmed with the overflowing affections that Jae gives him all the time. Well.. not all the time.. they can’t be affectionate all the time but there really are times when he feels like he doesn’t love Jae as much as Jae loves him. It feels like Jae is the one who is always making the effort to step closer. It’s like he never did anything right for Jae, he only knows how to make him worry.

Wonpil takes Jae’s hands from his cheek and placed it on his lap. Holding both of them together.

“But.. you are curious right?”

“I am. Like a lot”

Wonpil sighs. He doesn’t want to talk about it, yet he doesn’t want Jae to overthink things. It reminds him of the start of their relationship when he used to be so insecure and scared. He doesn’t want to concern Jae but being honest with what he feel is fine right? Who knows.. he’ll just give it a try.

“I wasn’t answering because it’s too embarrassing but I was thinking about you. I was thinking how you always take care me but I haven’t done much for you. I was wondering why I haven’t done anything for you. I want to be there for you all the time but I feel like I couldn’t help you. When you are having a hard time I want to be the first person to know so I could be the first one who would hug you tight. I want to do a lot of things for you too but I don’t know how to start”

Wonpil looks away. Blushing all over his face from the embarrassment and overwhelming feeling.

Jae smiles a little at Wonpil’s honesty because he knows. He knows Wonpil.

“You don’t know what you’re saying. You were always there when I’m having a hard time. You always take care of me. Do you remember the time when I was in a slump? You brought me outside and talked about my qualities and how you admire me. You listened to me when I talk. You laugh at my jokes. You took care of me when I was sick. When we went to Jeju even if I walk slow and is lagging behind, you wait for me. You are always waiting for me so don’t say that you haven’t done anything. To me, even your presence is enough for me to get better”

“But when we went to Jeju I was literally your manito”

“Oh yeah? A manito isn’t required to flirt but you keep looking at me, you keep fooling around and you were suddenly insisting that the manito should hug their— ugh!”

Jae exclaimed when a weight quickly climb and sit on his lap, wrapping his both arms around Jae’s neck. They both frowned at each other. Not because they are angry but to show their dissatisfaction with each other. Just like every childish thing they do. Wonpil is so confused at how their conversations can turn to teasing all the time. Wonpil pouted and Jae snorted.

 

“—and you were using all of them as an excuse, like right now”. Jae finishes his sentence.

“I am not”. Wonpil denies but the blush on his face says it all and Jae can see it.. very well.

“Then what are you doing right now?”

“Why? I can’t?”

Jae didn’t answer.

“Fine, I’m going down” Wonpil says in disappointment as he find his way to go down from Jae’s lap but Jae immediately wrapped his arms at the back of Wonpil’s waist, intertwining his own finger around them so he can’t let go.

“Stay there” Jae frowns even more And they glared at each other for a few more minutes until Wonpil couldn’t take it anymore. He suddenly bursts into laughter at seeing Jae’s annoyed face. Wonpil just can’t be serious when they start this kind of fight because they know, it’s never gonna be serious. Yet Jae isn’t laughing. He is still frowning but not as much as he did before Wonpil started laughing.

“Okay. You won. I was doing everything on purpose when we were on Jeju and even if I wasn’t your manito, I’d be doing the same thing so stop frowning. Hmm?”

Jae doesn’t move an inch no matter how many cute “hmm’s” Wonpil say so Wonpil tries another method and he kisses him on the cheek, left and right, in the forehead, in the nose, in the lips, once and twice but Jae still doesn’t barge. He is frustrated now and he wonders if this was what Jae was feeling earlier when he keeps ignoring him.

Wonpil sighs as he looks up at the ceiling.

“I.. didn’t know. I couldn’t see myself maybe because I was busy overthinking about the things I couldn’t do for you. I feel so useless around you. You always take care of me even if you keep denying my affections publicly, I always see it”

Wonpil looks back at Jae, clenching the hems of his shirt.

“Just.. I’m just thinking weird so.. stop frowning” Wonpil says in almost a whisper like whine. And that was enough for Jae, he wasn’t originally thinking of replying to anything Wonpil will say but hearing Wonpil’s words, changed his mind.

Jae moved Wonpil’s legs around his own waist so they can be closer. Both eyes are still attached to each other and Jae reaches up to Wonpil forehead even though it’s uncomfortable with his position right now.

“If you think harder, you did much more for me than I did for you so don’t worry about what you haven’t done for me. We have lots of times to make it up in the future”

Wonpil sighs one more time as he fight the urge to cry. ‘Future’.. it’s so nice to hear that word. It’s like there is no end for the both of them. He always worry of the end but Jae thinks of the future.. he should really stop worrying and just let things flow on its own. He is really thankful that Jae isn’t getting tired of him being like this every time.

“I don’t want to say sorry but I do. You are right. I can just make it up in the future. I’ll work hard”

Wonpil grins, showing his infamous gummy teeth smile and like a happy virus, a wide smile creeps in on Jae lips.

“Then stop worrying and let me know if you feel like I don’t love you enough, I’ll work harder”

“Don’t think that way. You love me enough. I know. I promise I’ll stop overthinking and let things flow, we can just be careful like always” Jae nods, satisfied with Wonpil’s words.

“Are you happy?” Jae asks and Wonpil nods his head cutely.. too cute it’s making Jae lean in and Wonpil knows what he wants to do as if its their second nature. He immediately moves close to kiss him on the lips.

“Then that’s enough”

Wonpil nods. Letting their forehead remain touching until he thought of something.

“You know what, you are such a baby”

“I am, just accept it” Wonpil rolls his eyes as he confidently say it. He immediately bury his face on Jae’s shoulder, tightening the wrap of his legs on Jae’s waist.

Jae chuckles as he reciprocates the hug and embraces Wonpil from his back. He’ll never stop getting amazed of Wonpil’s confidence.

It made Jae think that if there is one thing in this world that he is confident with is that, he can love Wonpil for a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s also my second nature to make their sweet talks ends up into a fight and I don’t know how it happens.. I wasn’t even trying to make that manito part into like that but it just happened as I write.
> 
> I think my writing has also changed. My spacing and tenses. I used to write in past tense but now it’s leaning on present. I don’t know what happened.
> 
> I hope the little change in my writing is for the betterment. (Because I know I’m still bad at writing ㅠㅠ)
> 
> And...
> 
> I hope you like it guys..


	15. Like It’s The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil visits his mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really know how to make summary. Like always.. Haha!
> 
> I don’t like this chapter so you guys deal with it. I’m gonna cry in the corner.

“W-Wait, wait, wait! I-I’m Nervous. C-c-can we can-cancel it?” Jae stutters. Panicking in his bedroom walking back and forth, biting his nails and Wonpil whose about to leave the room, sits back on the edge of his bed, waiting for Jae to stop his panic gay.

“Stop it hyung. Aren’t you dizzy yet?”

“How can you be so calm?!” Jae points out. Feeling betrayed. Treated unfair. Nervous.

“It’s not like it’s the first time, why are you so sensitive?”

“I’m not going. No! I can’t”

“That’s not an option hyung. You already bought the gifts. You’re already wearing the clothes that I know you bought online for today. Your shoes too. Why did you even buy me a shoe like yours? I didn’t know you’re into couple things. Is it a common thing in Ame—?”

“Seriously Wonpil, is that really what you’re curious right now?“ Jae asks. Sitting beside Wonpil.

“We already talked about this. I’m done. I’m tired. I quit. If you don’t calm down, I’m gonna have to drag you with me.”

Wonpil flops down with frustration, legs dangling at the edge of the bed. And Jae tries his best to calm down before he continued.

“I haven’t seen them for so long and the last time was before.. you know.. we became.. us”

Jae reaches out his hand to Wonpil and intertwine them copying Wonpil‘s action and turned to him.

“What are you trying to do hyung?”  
Wonpil speculates that Jae is just holding his hand because he doesn’t want to go. At first, Wonpil really wants Jae to come with him so desperately that he is willing to drag him out with all his might. 

The main reason was just simple, it was just one day when the members were all talking about visiting each other’s parents and there was Sungjin and Young K fighting over who ate more at Wonpil’s house. Wonpil was laughing at them but then he saw how Jae became quiet smiling at the two, he realized that Jae has never visited his home. His mom is a great cook and he wants him to boast what his Sungjin hyung and Brian hyung tasted (though his mom brings food at their dorm, it’s still different at home) but after some thought, he guessed it will be better if Jae spends his vacation how the way he wants it or maybe with his parents instead. It’s not a big deal, they have lots of time.

———

What really happened was a few days ago, Wonpil’s mom called him to chitchat. He was sitting on the kitchen with Jae and Dowoon, they were all eating while Sungjin and Young K are on their respective rooms.

“Mom, I might go home next week. We got a day off”

“Really? That’s great! Bring your bandmates so I can cook for them”

“Actually Jae hyung and Dowoon is here with me, I’m gonna ask them”

The two were actually listening to the conversation and Wonpil eyes them if they can come or not. Wonpil knows Dowoon’s plans on their day off but he gives the phone to Dowoon anyway, so he can explain. Dowoon‘s a bit reluctant to pick up the phone but he does.

“Hi eommo-nim, it’s Dowoon!” Dowoon says politely. “We were actually listening earlier. Actually, I can’t go eommo-nim, I have promised my mom that I’d go home too. Same with Sungjin hyung. But I’ll visit in the future”

“Really?” His mom says in disappointment but she goes back to her bright mood right away just like Wonpil. “That’s alright. Next time Dowoon-ah okay?”

“Yes eommo-nim, next time I promise”

“How about Younghyun?”

“Ah, he’s going to Busan too”

Wonpil and Jae shots him with a ‘why’ in the eye and as if they can read each other’s mind Dowoon looks at them with an ‘I’ll-explain-it-later’.

“How about Jaehyung?”

Wonpil and Dowoon looks at him. Not quite sure with his plans. Wonpil recalls that Jae told him that he doesn’t have any plans and might just stay in the dorm if he is lazy or he can just hang out with friends.

Dowoon gives the phone to Jae as both maknaes waited for his answer. Jae looks at Wonpil then Dowoon then Wonpil.

“Uhmm.. I don’t have plans. I can go.. eommo-nim”

Wonpil raises both of his brows with a questioning “Are you sure?” in mind and Dowoon gave a cheeky smile and that’s when he realized what he has just done.

“Oh really?” Wonpil’s mom laughs in excitement. “That’s great. You never visited here before right? I’ll make sure I can feed you well”

“Ah, ye-yes.. hehe. Thank you eommo-nim” Jae wants to take back what he said but he just can’t do that, especially when that’s the mom of his bandmate and more importantly, his boyfriend. What even made him say yes in the first place? He doesn’t know.

————

 

“None. I just want to hold your hand” Jae replies as he place Wonpil’s knuckle on his lips.

“Sungjin hyung and the rest already left. What if they reach Busan and we are still here?.. How about this.. you go home and I’ll just go on my way. I’ll tell my mom that you cannot visit because your mom misses you”

“It’s not that simple Wonpil, I promised”

“It’s not like you are going out there to marry me or something. We’ll just sleep over for two nights.. and they don’t know anything about us. We are very good at hiding right?” Wonpil says in a muffled voice as he looks at Jae as if he is looking at the depths of his soul.

“You really want me to go, don’t you?”

“No, it’s not that. It doesn’t really matter if you go or not. This also happened with Sungjin hyung and Brian hyung before. Don’t mind me. I’ll go now. I’ll take that gifts you bought instead”

Wonpil sits up to reach out for the bags where the gifts were placed.

“I’ll go now hyung. See you”

Jae sits up not believing that Wonpil will really leave but he did after sending him a kiss on the lip.

———

“Really? We can’t help it if his mom missed him. Moms misses you all the time. But I bought lots of ingredients.” Wonpil’s mom sighs. Figuring out what to do with them.

“I’ll take it to our dorm”

Wonpil smiled as they both stand on the kitchen getting ready for dinner. Wonpil has already explained the reason why Jae cannot come, though Wonpil’s mom is a bit disappointed, she is really fine. As long as his son is home.

Wonpil on the other hand wonders what Jae is up to. He didn’t call nor text the older, he feels bad leaving like that. He wasn’t disappointed that Jae couldn’t come, it was really fine but his thoughts. His thoughts breaks his own heart and he wants to run away from it. Just like how he always do when he couldn’t accept that he is in love with his bandmate.

“That’s a better idea” Wonpil’s mom said. “I’ll make sure I can cook everything tomorrow night so your friends can eat them”

“I want to help”

“Of course son, sure. Just don’t touch the salt”

“Mom~~” Wonpil whines and his mom laughs.

 

The next morning, Wonpil wakes up a little late. He usually wakes up early but today.. it’s already noon. Maybe because he’s at home that he feels a lot more comfortable.

Wonpil walks to the smell of soup.

“Son~ are you awake?”

“Yes.. why didn’t you—“ Wonpil got cut off by his own voice when he saw the familiar tall and lanky man sitting on their dining table. Wonpil looks at his mom.

“Jaehyungie’s mom has to do something else so they cancelled their plans and he arrived at 9 but you were asleep. I was thinking of waking you up but Jaehyung told me not to so we spent the time talking instead. I didn’t know Jaehyung is such a funny guy” His mom chuckles and Jae smiles back at her before he send his attention back to Wonpil.

"Good morning (?)" Jae tries to speak casually but his greeting is in more of a question form.

"Morning hyung." Wonpil smiles and Jae tried to observe his actions but Wonpil looks alright. His eyes says he is fine. His smiles still radiates like sun. And Jae thought he must be overthinking. That yesterday was nothing.

The day passed by so quickly. Its always like that when everyone's on vacation. Jae didn't know why he was so nervous going at Wonpil's house. It was nothing actually. Yet he thinks maybe Wonpil was right, maybe he was too reluctant for going because he feels like he'll be asking Wonpil's parents for his hand which is too early to think about with the career path they chose.

Wonpil's parents took care and talked to him the whole day. They were all laughing and having fun. Jae has seen Wonpil’s parents before but it’s the first time to realize that Wonpil's bubbly attitude came from his mom and his smiles from his dad. They ate too much thanks to the magic hand of Wonpil's mom. He learned lots of story about Wonpil and he realized there are so many things that he didn't know about him. He wonders if the other members has already heard the stories he heard today.

Everything went well today and Jae thought that he would've regret if he didn't came. Everything is perfect but something's missing. There is this empty feeling when he looks at Wonpil who is sitting at the single sofa in line with the large sofa that is facing them in which he and Wonpil's mom are sitting. He thinks he should be holding Wonpil's hand right now but he feels so far away from the people surrounding them. As if they are back to zero.

 

“Hey, Piri” Jae says as he open the door of Wonpil’s room a little.

“Why hyung? Are you uncomfortable with your bed?”

“No, it’s not that. I just came to see your room”

“Oh, okay. Come in” Wonpil happily invites him to sit on his bed. Wonpil showed him some things he keeps from his childhood. He shared stories he never said before. And they laughed as if they have forgotten what happened yesterday but Jae couldn’t. Let’s just say, Wonpil is sensitive but Jae gets a lot more sensitive especially when it feels like something is really wrong. He doesn’t like forgetting unless he gets an answer and with this, it makes Jae feels like he is the clingy one now.

Jae watch Wonpil’s back as Wonpil go busy putting his precious things back on its place. Wonpil hums a song.. he smiles as he reminisce his younger days. He loves what he is doing now and will always be grateful but even if he is satisfied with what he has, he still misses the times when he can freely go and play with his friends whom he spent his elementary and high school years but Wonpil’s thoughts got cut off and he almost jumped in surprise when he felt an arm around his waist and a warm body at his back. He quickly tried to break the hug. This is not their dorm. He is scared that his parents will suddenly open the door and will see them but Jae won’t let him go.

“Hyung.. please” Wonpil whimpers.

“I locked the door. No one can get in. Don’t worry” and with that Wonpil stopped protesting. Resting his left hand on Jae’s hand while the other caresses the back of his head.

“Why did you leave like that? I was worried that you were upset”

“I’m not that petty hyung. I told you, it’s fine. Why did you come?”

“You are not answering my question”

“I got impatient, I missed home—“

“Lie”

Wonpil stayed still. Swallowing a lump in his throat. He can use a lot of excuse but knowing Jae, he knows he can never lie. He likes it when Jae can get him right away but he hates it in the kind of situation where he wants to keep everything for himself. Though he knows this time would come. He thought he can have a few more days for himself to prepare. He wasn’t expecting Jae to visit his house like this. He left like that because he wants to run away from his thoughts, his insecurities and from Jae.. until he is ready.

“Can you give me time?”

Wonpil looks down as Jae repositioned his hands around Wonpil’s shoulder so he could tighten the hug. Jae knows something’s wrong and it wasn’t just because he was such a coward for not coming with him. He knows it’s more than that and he wants to comfort Wonpil as much as he could.

“Can you assure me that it wasn’t because I let you leave like that?”

Wonpil hums. “It wasn’t because of that. Like I said, it didn’t really matter.”

“Okay. I get it. I will wait” Jae said in almost a whisper. Wonpil feels his heart sinking with the sadness on Jae’s tone. And Jae wish it isn’t the same thing as he guessed what it is.

“Let me go.. please”

Jae doesn’t want to but if it’s what Wonpil wants.. He let loose of Wonpil as he slowly step back. Wonpil turned to him with a smile.. a smile that could mean a lot of things and he stared at him with fondness. 

“Park Jaehyung.. I love you”

Jae usually hesitate when responding to Wonpil’s sweet talk because it makes him feel embarrass but this time he won’t. He didn’t realized this before but hearing Wonpil say this three words, feels so assuring. He knows Wonpil won’t be leaving him anytime soon. Jae sighs heavily as he try to hold out his tears. “Me too. I love you”

Wonpil smiles after hearing Jae’s response. It’s so satisfying that he wants to believe that he can do something for them in the future.

“Do you want to see the neighborhood? It’s really nice here”

“Sure”

And before they left Wonpil pulled him in. He kisses him on the lips a little longer as if they reminisce the first time they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was scared that one day I’ll have to write this kind of chapter. I literally cried for JaePil. Gosh, I love them so much.
> 
> I was supposed to make it a little longer but I’ll just put my next thoughts on the next chapter.


	16. My Sun is A Big Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil takes Jae away..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna take this seriously now..
> 
> Hope you guys will still enjoy it..

Wonpil wakes up in his own bed. In his own room. He is still at his home and it feels so good but recalling that Jae is actually just in the other room makes his feelings heavy. It’s too early to feel this way. Too early to have grown a courage.

Wonpil picks up his phone and starts searching for Sungjin’s name on his contacts. Aside from being bandmates, Sungjin is like a best friend to Wonpil. He was always his friend from the first time they met in the JYP audition and up until in the circle of friends they made. Sungjin was his roommate whom he spent having late night talks and shared lots of secrets to. Sungjin and Wonpil knows a lot of stories of each other and when Jae came to the scene, Sungjin knows what Wonpil felt for Jae even if he doesn’t ask. 

Wonpil is uncertain of what to say if he calls his Sungjin hyung, it’s embarrassing to bother him early in the morning but he has to. And he tried to pluck another courage to ask the favor. And the phone rings for a couple of times before someone picked up on the other end.

‘Hyung. Good morning’ Wonpil says in a brighter tone.

‘O, Wonpil-ah. Why are you calling this early?’ Sungjin still sounds sleepy and Wonpil is pretty sure that he woke him up.

‘Hyung, I’m sorry to bother you this early but I have a favor. Can we have our off for one more day? I have to do something important’

‘Well.. I can help you with that. I’ll just make an excuse to the managers. You’re with Jae hyung right?’

Wonpil trails on his words a little hearing Jae’s name.

‘Yes hyung, I am. Thank you.’ He says in a calmer tone.

‘Is there any problem?’

‘No hyung. I’m just.. I have to do something important’

‘Okay. If there’s a problem just call me’

‘Yes hyung, thank you.. really’

‘I’m hanging up now’

The phone call ended and Wonpil went back to lie down and stare at the ceiling. He thinks of Jae and his choices in life. He questioned himself a hundred of times but when he think of Jae’s face, of how he looks at him. He couldn’t regret anything. They are happy. They really are but when he try to think of any solution to his problem, there’s no answer. He knew it from the start but he can’t help thinking about it. He knows he is becoming greedy and he feels guilty about it.

Wonpil walks to the guest room which is where Jae is sleeping in. His parents are nowhere to be seen. And Wonpil thought that they might be out for their daily exercises. Wonpil knocked Jae’s room but he hears no response. He opens the door slowly to see that Jae is still fast asleep. Of course, it’s too early for Jae to be awake.

Wonpil walks in and locks the room so he could freely look at his man’s beautiful face.

The bed is quite small, exactly good for one person but with Jae and Wonpil’s thin figure, they will surely fit. Wonpil finds his way on the small space of the bed. Jae is facing the other way but it’s fine. Wonpil lies down facing Jae’s back and embraces him carefully to not wake him up. Even though Jae is asleep, when he felt someone is holding him and that someone is Wonpil, he naturally faced the younger and hugged him back. Then he is back to his dreams once again.

Wonpil looks at his sleeping face. He is really pretty. His skin is always glowing. He wonders how this pretty man takes care of himself that he became so handsome like this. He thinks the food that his mom fed Jae yesterday helped his cheeks to be a little chubbier today. It’s cute. He should eat more.

“Wonpil-ah” Jae needly calls out.

“I’m here.. go back to sleep” He knows Jae is only sleep talking but he wants to respond. He slowly and softly pat Jae’s back in rhythm.

“Wonpil-ah” Jae snuggles closer to his neck as if he is looking for his scent.

“Hmm.. Why? Why do keep calling my name?” Wonpil looks at Jae’s face to confirm if he is still asleep and he looks like he do. Jae frowned and Wonpil softly kisses him in the forehead to erase them.

“Piri-yah” He calls once more and this time Wonpil feels like his heart is about to break. Jae calls his name as if he is looking for him. As if he doesn’t hear him.

“I’m just here hyung. I’m not going anywhere” Wonpil moves closer to Jae making sure there are no spaces between them and Jae once again snuggles to his neck as if he knows what is going on. Wonpil closes his eyes with a tear trickling down his face. He wish he can stay like this with Jae for a very long time.

 

After a few more hours, Jae wakes up to see that Wonpil is beside him. Their position didn’t change. He is still snuggling on Wonpil’s neck. He thought he was dreaming when he felt someone hugging him earlier but it was actually true. Wonpil is asleep and Jae smiled seeing his messy face like this.

He stared at Wonpil for a few more minutes when he realized that they should be going back to their dorm today. He checked the time and it’s already 10 in the morning. The house is not small but not big enough for them to not hear anything from the outside. Jae hears Wonpil’s mom doing something in the kitchen and it seems like his dad is watching tv. How can they go out of this room?

Jae softly shakes Wonpil as he whisper to his ear to wake him up.  
“Wonpil-ah. Wake up”

“Hnnggg..”

“Wonpil..” Wonpil shot his eye open when he hear Jae’s voice for the second time and realizing he fell asleep. He quickly looks at the time. Two hours. He went back to sleep for two more hours. He was supposed to leave the room after a few minutes but he ended up sleeping instead. He hears the television and something being cooked in the kitchen. He quickly looks up to Jae.

“Hyung.. what should—“

Jae placed his hand on Wonpil’s mouth to keep him quiet.

“Shh.. Calm down..”

Wonpil nods and Jae slowly removed his hand on his mouth.

“How are we gonna leave the room?” Jae sits up and Wonpil follows.

“If they ask I’ll just tell them that we fell asleep while talking”

“Okay, I think that works... also, we need to leave today too. Day off’s over”

“Hyung.. about that.. I asked Sungjin hyung to extend our break”

“Why?” Jae shots him a question with the sudden and unexpected decision.

“I want to go somewhere with you.. is it okay? But.. if you don’t want it.. we can..”

“No. I will go with you, anywhere” Jae replies quickly like his answer could mean so much more. Wonpil smiles gently.

“What a relief. I thought you’d hate the idea”

“Never” Jae said as he bumps their nose together, leaving a toothy smile on both of their faces.

“I’ll go out first” Wonpil says and Jae nods. And before he could stand up he remember something. “Good morning” and gives a smooch on Jae. They both blush as they silently chuckle.

 

“Oh, why are coming out of Jaehyung’s room? Your mom’s looking for you” Wonpil’s dad asks after hearing the door open. Wonpil has already calmed down as if he didn’t do anything in the guest room.

“Yeah? I’ll go to mom right away”  
Wonpil didn’t answer and his dad didn’t mind. Thank god.

 

Wonpil later on gave the gift Jae sent for his mom in which Wonpil would have forgotten if Jae didn’t remind him the last minute. Wonpil’s mom looks so happy seeing the beauty products Jae bought. “It’s so thoughtful of you” she says and Jae smiles with satisfaction. He made long a research for a few days to find the best product and thankfully Wonpil’s mom loves it.

Wonpil and Jae are seated on the living room waiting for their manager to pick them up after receiving a text from Sungjin.

‘I told the manager I have an emergency at home and I can’t go back. It’s up to you now.’

Wonpil smiles on the message. He is always thankful to have a reliable hyung at this kind of times.

‘Thank you so much hyung’ He replies and Jae sneaks up.

“What are you smiling about?” Jae raises a brow but Wonpil is busy at his phone to see his face.

“Nothing. It’s Sungjin hyung”

“Okay, but don’t smile like that” Wonpil furrows and slowly looks up to Jae who doesn’t look so happy, they stared at each other for good few seconds.

“What?” Jae asks.

“What?” Wonpil replies as he hold his laughter.

“Wonpil-ah! Come here. You have to take this on your dorm”

Wonpil and Jae’s staring contest immediately cuts off with a surprise after hearing his mom’s voice. They should really be cautious at times like this. Wonpil immediately stands up as he quickly walk to the kitchen where the voice of his mom is coming.

“Yes, coming”

Wonpil gasps after seeing the bundle of food his mom made and it reminds him of his promise the other night. All he can blame is Jae’s existence in his house.

“Mom.. I’m sorry, I forgot”

“No, it’s okay. You are here to rest. You shouldn’t bother yourself with something like this”

“But.. I promised”

Wonpil’s mom walks closer to him and rubs his back.

“Aigoo.. That’s alright. Your dad helped me put everything in place”

And Wonpil sees his dad still putting a silk cloth on the stacked up food containers that his mom prepared last night.

“Your mom’s right. By the way, did you sleep in Jaehyung’s room?” His dad asks casually, still not done with the couple more containers and Wonpil tenses up a little as he finds his own excuse.

“Ah, yes.. We talked so much last night and I fell asleep.”

“It seems like you are really close to Jaehyung, right? Before I thought it’s Sungjin”

“We are all close dad. I’m close to everyone in the company” Wonpil chuckles as he exaggerates his story and the three of them laughs.

 

After half an hour their manager finally arrived to pick them up. Wonpil and Jae bid goodbye as they (including the manager) take the containers inside the car.

“Is this why you needed me?” Their manager ask as he put on his belt on the driver seat.

“I’m sorry hyung” Wonpil quietly laughs to himself, feeling bad to call their manager in their day off but it’s really difficult if they don’t call him too, Neither he and Jae have a drivers license (Jae has but that’s an American license), they can’t just walk to the subway or take a bus with the amount of food his mom made for them. Not to exaggerate but his mom bought more ingredients after Jae arrived expecting him to eat like Sungjin and Young K that turns out to be untrue because Jae has a small appetite like Wonpil. Jae really tried his best to eat though and Wonpil looked at him like he is the most pitiful person in the world but eventually saved him from the painful sight.

“Did you hear anything about Sungjin? He suddenly called me saying there’s an emergency at home but he won’t tell me what exactly happened. Do you have any idea?”

Jae and Wonpil looked at each other as if they are discussing something in their mind while their manager is busy driving.

“I also just received a text from him but I don’t know what happened, he won’t tell me either” Wonpil says and Jae acknowledge his acting skills.

“How about Jaehyung then?”

“‘Me? I didn’t receive any message. Probably because he knows I was sleeping over”

Their manager sighs and they know he is worried of Sungjin. The two of them still glances at one another and Wonpil feels guilty for lying but Jae mouths him an “It’s okay” to make him feel little better.

“Hyung, since others are not yet back, we are not going back too.” Wonpil starts off so that Sungjin’s efforts won’t come to waste.

“Sure.. catch up with your rest. I’ll take care of everything. Update me if Sungjin tells you something”

“Yes, hyung. We will. Thank you”

Wonpil and Jae are dropped near a bus station. Both wearing a mask, a cap and a jacket. They have nothing right now but their wallets and oh, Wonpil’s backpack. They walk right through the crowd discussing about their destination.

“Where do you want to go?” Jae asks as Wonpil searches in his phone for a place they can go. Somewhere nice but somewhere near.

“Should we go on a common place?”

“Beach?”  
“Beach.”  
They both said in unison and laughs resonates after.

As they both do their research they finally found a place near Seoul that has a good view with few people. They bought the bus ticket and food for their short trip.

“Hyung, come to think of it, this might be our first real outdoor date in here” Wonpil speaks softly to Jae’s ear yet excitement is evident on his voice as he looks at him smiling from ear to ear though it is covered with his black mask. At that moment Jae really wants to take Wonpil’s hand in his but he didn’t. He smiled back.

“You’re right. I wish we have our own car. I’d drive you anywhere”

“Drive me on LA”

Jae hums. “I’ll take you to my favorite places.”

Wonpil holds out his pinky finger as they look at each other. It would be nice to seal it with a kiss but it’s alright, they can settle with this for now. “Promise”

“Promise”

————

“Hyung! Hurry! Look. Can we buy that?”

Wonpil points on the displayed bracelet in the market that’s made with yarn and beads. The bracelet doesn’t look so sturdy unlike what you can usually buy online or in the malls but it looks really nice. Suited on a beach atmosphere.

“If you like it”

“I like it” With no hesitation Wonpil quickly took two bracelets, one is black and the other is red. Then paid the seller.

“Give me your hand” Wonpil reaches out with his own hand to put the bracelet in Jae’s wrist and Jae complied.

“But I like the black one” Jae protests and Wonpil didn’t care.

“Your head is red so yours is red”

“That doesn’t make any sense”

“It does. There, it’s done. Put mine too”

Wonpil gives his bracelet ignoring what Jae wants and Jae just shook his head as he take the bracelet to put it on Wonpil’s wrist.

“There” Jae says in resignation and Wonpil smiles as he looks at the bracelet dangling on both of their hands. It’s cheap but it looks priceless now they are wearing it and it would’ve been perfect if they could hold each other’s hands but they could just assume that they are as long as the bracelet is in their wrists.

“Hyung... don’t take this off and just wear it all day. Okay? Let’s go” Wonpil says the last of his sentence in English that made Jae shake his head. Sometimes he doesn’t know what to do with Wonpil, he is like an innocent child like now as he skips in his feet with a bag on his back but when he turns his head he can actually have bad intentions and as much as Jae hates to admit it, it kinda excites him to see this different sides of Wonpil from time to time.

Wonpil stops on his tracks when he didn’t see Jae following. He turned back to find Jae and there he is looking at him from afar.  
“Hyung, hurry!”

“Don’t run. It’s tiring!” Wonpil laughs to himself. Jae talks like an old man. Wonpil waits for the older until they are side by side and it would’ve been really nice if he can hold Jae’s hand.

Wonpil and Jae finds a room where they could sleep in for the night before they continue their little date. They ate more food, they visit more shops and they talked about so many thing as if they don’t talk every single day.

The two decided to get a soju before ending the night. It’s a starless night with a few people around yet there is the comforting moon reflecting the beautiful ocean. It sparkles like how Wonpil’s eyes lightens up in the sight of Jae. It shines like the way Jae looks at Wonpil. And there, the wind is cold as the wave of the sea follows but together, it’s a lot warmer. It’s an imperfect night yet a night full of excitement for them to be together outside their dorm. Even if there are no stars, it would’ve been perfect if they can hold the hand of one another.

“Luckily I didn’t left the jackets” Wonpil says as he hovers around his bag after seeing Jae rub his palm in his crossed arms.

Earlier Jae wanted to take his jacket off and leave it to the room but Wonpil insisted to bring it as he put in his bag. Right now they are both seated on the sand without their caps, masks and jackets. They are just in their ordinary tee and pants.

Jae glances at Wonpil waiting for the expected jacket as he bring his attention back at the scenery in front of him. Wonpil covers him with the jacket and Wonpil wore his own too.

“Hyung” Wonpil scoots closer making their shoulders touch. Wonpil reaches out his palm in the dark hoping Jae will take it to his own but Jae has to look around first for a final check and when he confirmed it, he laces their hands together without any gap. Hiding them close to his stomach.

They both breathed in relief. It was a long day. They’ve been walking around for a few hours but it feels like they are not together. In every touch, it feels like they are avoiding each other like a plague. Wonpil never had a problem with skinship before, he was always number one in the group when it comes to clinging but Jae’s title to his life makes the difference. It’s like when they touch people might point fingers on them. That he might become Jae’s flaw one day. He knows he is being weak with what he is thinking but he thinks it’s better to be careful.

“I thought I’d die if I can’t hold your hand today” Wonpil squish’s his hand as he look at their hidden hands together.

“What are you saying? You were alive even before we got together” Jae snorts, he doesn’t look at Wonpil but Wonpil does. It is a lot better sight than the view where they are right now. Jae’s side profile is enough to make send butterflies on Wonpil’s stomach.

“That was different” Wonpil softly replies. If Jae wants to argue with him today, Jae totally picked the wrong day.

“If you liked me long enough, how did you even endure it?” Jae turns to him and it’s a lot better than his side profile but Jae looks like he is having lots of thoughts and his eyes glitters like stars. “If I didn’t kiss you that night, will I ever know? Will you ever let me know?”

Wonpil looks to Jae without changing his expression. His eyes are still filled with adoration like how stars looks to its moon. “If we are in the sky, I want to be a star and you’ll be the moon. In the dark even if I’m only one of those stars who can make you shine brighter, I am willing to be a little star among the countless stars and let the people look at you with adoration. I’ll shine like a star in the distance so you can have it all. Even if it’s not me. I am willing to endure it so you’d be prettier in the sky.”

“But then.. I can’t be happy. I have endured it for so long. I really did. But every single time I run away from you, my love only grows and I don’t know how to stop. If you are a star among the countless star, then you must be shining crazily like sun. You are not an ordinary star, you are a sun, my sun who can make the both of us shine brighter”

Wonpil leans on his own knees as he slowly study his lover’s face. They squished their hands alternately as if they are communicating that way. Jae does the same, bringing their interlaced fingers to his lips pecking the back of Wonpil’s hand until he is satisfied. The dangling bracelet in both of their hands makes it better. It’s like owning each other. Jae places their interlaced hands to his cheek like he has forgotten where they are.

“I’ll be a coward for the rest of my life if you didn’t come to me so... thank you.. thank you for loving me. You don’t know how much happiness you bring to me” Wonpil bites his lips, blushing from all the events tonight.

It must be their low tolerance for alcohol but they love how honest they are with each other tonight. When they don’t squabble and tease each other after every sappy moment. Today is indeed perfect. Wonpil’s satisfied with his unplanned plan.

“Me too. Thank you.. for accepting me... I can’t imagine us right now if you didn’t like me back at that time. I was so afraid at that time, I thought I’d probably die if I lose you.” Jae chuckles to himself. It’s embarrassing to be this honest but it is true. There are times in his life that he still can’t believe he is being loved by the person whom he thought won’t love him the way he do. 

And Wonpil smiles sadly, thinking about that fluttering and confusing day, accepting his own self was the hardest part but he can’t deny how much he is in love with Jae. He’s sure that he is always obvious and coming to this point isn’t easy. It was a rough and suffocating road for them. Hiding their own feelings to each other. Hiding their true identity from their friends especially from their family. He is not asking to let their relationship out to the public but he wants them to love like any regular couple. That at least their parents would know.

”Does your parents know?” Wonpil avoids Jae’s eyes, looking at the sand burying their feet and it’s alright. Jae understands.

“No but I kinda want to tell them.”

“Do you think they’ll accept it?”

“They might not but they might be. If they’ll hate me, It will only take time.. I can wait.” Jae pauses for a second before he continued. “Why? Do you want to do it?”

“I do.. I have been thinking about it for quite some time. I can’t hide from them forever.” Wonpil answers as if he is anticipating for the question to come.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Wonpil immediately looks at Jae, he feels weird on his stomach. It feels so good to hear that Jae is taking the initiative to come with him in such situation. He appreciates the thought but it sounds like it’s not a good idea.

“I don’t want them to kill you”

“It’s alright. I’ll accept the criticism. I also want to prove myself. That I’m serious about you” Wonpil got shaken by Jae’s words. The willingness and confidence coming out from his mouth sounds so different when they were discussing about the sleepover. Jae is so sincere. Wonpil can tell.

“Then I’ll come with you too” Jae smirks, not so confident about Wonpil’s words.

“Are you sure?”

“I am. I don’t want to be the coward anymore”

“Okay then. Let’s do it together”

 

 

“It’s gone.” Wonpil shakes the bottle of soju in front of their face.

“Let’s go to sleep. We have to go back tomorrow”

Wonpil nods, standing up right away but not letting their hands go. Wonpil looks at their surrounding and there’s no one around anymore but they still have to be careful. They look at each other’s hands first before disappointingly letting them go and there is a sensation left as they walk back to their room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a pretty long chapter. I guess? I feel like I spent so much time writing this chapter.
> 
> I’m slowly taking the angst road once again. Please bear with me.. 😭
> 
> Just to share.. I almost.. almost.. wrote a smut in here haha! But when I was writing the end part it feels like its too forced if I do so I just skipped it.


	17. Don’t Look At Me Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night filled with Jae’s overwhelming love.

It is a little late when Jae quietly sneaked in to Wonpil’s room and flopped down to his bed. Jae quickly tucked himself in to Wonpil’s blankets. He really like using Wonpil’s blanket, it smells like him. Wonpil’s still on the bathroom when Jae came and so when Wonpil came out with his curly hair, wearing his glasses he giggled when when their eyes met. Jae chuckled as well seeing Wonpil’s cute appearance.

“Hurry” Jae said. Tapping the empty space beside him. And of course Wonpil quickly ran to his bed when Jae opened his arms to receive his embrace.

“Why did you came hyung?”

Jae tightened the hug and kiss him in the forehead.

“I missed you”

“We just saw each other an hour ago. Something happened?”

Jae shook his head but Wonpil isn’t convinced. Wonpil looked at Jae with more questions.

“Honest! I just want to see you. I came cause I want to sleep here.. can I?”

“Alright.. alright.. I get it hyung”

It’s been days since that beach date happened and during the past days they’re back to their endless schedules. Today is not an exception, they’ve been busy than ever. Practice then schedule and today after a schedule, they just came back from another practice. Everyone is exhausted for sure and have already gone to bed and Jae wants to do the same but it’s really been days since he hugged the younger, he just can’t stand it any longer.

The two don’t frequently sleep on the same bed for the reason of keeping the dorm as usual as it was before they got together. Being mindful isn’t bad at all. It’s an unspoken rule they made and that’s fine because it’s their choice.

“You are looking at me like that again” Jae pretends to be annoyed yet deep inside he really wants it like that, he enjoys it and Wonpil grins after realizing he’s doing it again.

“I can’t help it. I keep finding you”

“You should not look at me like this when we are on live”

“Wwwhy?~”

Wonpil closed the distance between them. Making their forehead and nose touch to tease Jae.

“Stop it Wonpil” Jae laughed putting a distance in their faces so he can look the younger in the eye and Wonpil laughed along because seeing Jae laughing like this makes him happy.

“Seriously hyung! You are too attractive. Not looking at you is too hard. So don’t ask me that”

“Fine, not gonna ask you again. Just look at me. Keep looking at me! And if they catch us because of how you stare at me I won’t hide any of this secret and I’ll just say that you’re mine”

Wonpil giggles and Jae carefully takes his glasses off so it won’t be a bother to them. He gently caressed Wonpil’s cheek. Appreciating the beauty beside him. He really enjoys this kind of thing. Looking at Wonpil freely. Without the cameras in front of them, without being cautious.

He knows he can’t be as confident as Wonpil who can look at him in front of the camera the way he looks at him right now but he will always compensate the younger behind them and he is really thankful that the person he chose is the most understanding person he has ever known. His Wonpil is always kind, always adjusting in the situation when he is easily irritated and he feels guilty because he doesn’t mean it all the time but Wonpil will always.. always softly smile saying ‘It’s alright. I understand’.

Jae closes his eyes as he wraps his arms around the younger, bringing him closer to his chest.

“Why do I like you so much?” He mumbles, a bit lazy in sound but in all honesty, he just feels defeated by his own heart. And Wonpil heard it properly.

Wonpil has been feeling sleepy since they started talking but his heart isn’t tired at thumping like crazy. He feels heat rushing to his cheek making it hard for him to breathe, not just because of the older’s words but also hearing the beating of their hearts in the same rhythm.

Jae usually isn’t like this. It’s difficult to make him confess but today as if he utter those words every single day, they flow so easily in his lips. Wonpil thinks it might be because of the date.

“Hyung, you are really weird tonight. Do you know that you just confessed?”

“I did?” Jae slowly opens his eyes as he ask in nonchalance.

“Are you really okay?”

“I’m fine... I just can’t help it.. you know.. when you look at me like this. You don’t know how hard it is for me when there’s so many people. How do you even do that?” Jae chuckles to hide his embarrassment. Fondness in his eye is very evident.

Wonpil just stared at how Jae’s skin crinkles when he laughs. He looked at how Jae looks at him. He feels so loved right now to the point it hurts so much. Wonpil loves Jae a lot. Too much, he could not describe it by words. Wonpil closed their distance once again and made their lips touch. Kiss. They haven’t kissed since they went to the beach. When Wonpil separated their lips. The same glint of spark in his eye showed up.

Wonpil understands now. Whether they hold hands, hug, kiss, simply talk or just stare at each other, it’s the same. Jae won’t change.

“Wow, I missed that” Jae feels like it’s new.

“You sure do. I don’t remember the last time we kissed”

“I remember the first time we did”

“That was a mess”

They both chuckled remembering that day. It’s really funny how they keep talking about their first day since their first date.

At the silence Jae spoke.

“I’m still thinking about that night.. I can’t believe that was our first outdoor date. We’ve been together for more than a year already.”

“You should be thankful that I took the initiative. You should also do the same for me in the future. Don’t forget it” Wonpil jokes around and Jae knows that but it made him think about the supposed occasions to be celebrated. He didn’t think much about it but he just realized how important it was supposed to be and Wonpil didn’t bother him about it so he thought it’s fine.

“Wonpil-ah, I’m sorry.. I have never thought much of the occasions that we should be celebrating. Despite of our busy schedules I should’ve found a way to celebrate our hundredth day and anniversary.” And Jae do look sorry. Wonpil felt weird in his stomach. He feels bad for making Jae think that way. He realized now why Jae hates it when he says sorry in everything. Imagine how many times Jae felt this way.

“Hyung.. I’m just kidding. And also those occasions doesn’t really matter to me. Whether we celebrate or not, nothing will change between us”

“Still, I feel like because I don’t pay attention to those kinds of occasions you pretended not to care about them but you honestly want to try celebrating them right?”

Wonpil trails down from his words, eyes wondering.. not sure how to answer them.

“I don’t.. know. I haven’t experienced them before so uhmmnot.. sure. If it’s something like how you celebrate birthdays then it’s nothing special. I don’t mind my birthday at all”

“But you always mind everyone’s birthday. How does everyone celebrate here?” Jae looks up as if the ceiling will give him an answer and Wonpil quietly looks at him with admiration.

“Let’s celebrate it every hundredth day. I’ll make it big on the next anniversary”

Jae kisses his temple and his lips automatically lifts up into a smile. He is touched that Jae thinks that there is still gonna be another year for them together. And Wonpil wishes their celebrations can be endless.

“Look at you. You’re staring at me like that again. If you don’t stop that I might fall in love with you all over again” Jae chuckles as if he says in the daily what he is saying right now. Wonpil isn’t sure if it’s just because of the beach or something happened today but he’s surely happy how Jae is so affectionate towards him. He likes it a lot. He wants Jae to be like this all the time but he likes the Jae that he liked so he guessed its fine. It’s fine if this kind of Jae can be like this even if in rare times.

“You’re too handsome, what can I do?” Wonpil grins. Still, Wonpil’s not convinced that Jae is like this today just because of that night. Will Jae really act like this over that night? The answer is yes because Jae is too soft for his lover. “If you don’t want to tell me what happened today hyung, I’ll respect that. Just be fine. Run to me if its too difficult”

Jae hugs him tight, pulling him to his chest so he won’t meet Wonpil’s eyes. Jae caress his hair as he rest his chin to Wonpil’s head.

“I’m really fine. I promise. I just.. I was thinking about us before I came here. I keep thinking about what you said then I thought of how I was before you knew my feelings”

Wonpil wants to break the hug to look at Jae but Jae won’t let him.

“Don’t look. I don’t think I can say it if you’re looking at me”

Wonpil nodded and hugged Jae as tight as he could, listening to him and to his heart beating.

“When I realized how I felt about you, everything became so hard for me. My thoughts and my emotions doesn’t go accordingly. Looking at you scares me a lot because every single time you care about me, my feeling just keeps growing, it suffocated me. At that time it doesn’t have any hope, yet, I have loved you everyday more than you can imagine. And I have written so many songs about you. How it hurts and how you inspires me you’re really ‘Like That Sun’ to me.”

“What are you— Like Tha—“

“You’re right. I told you, you’re my sun. I wrote ‘Like That Sun’ because of you well.. you all guys helped me write it.”

Wonpil’s really speechless to hear this new fact. Jae liked him before they debuted. He wonders how long has it been. They’ve been friends since they became part of the same team but as much as he remember, they weren’t close enough to develop any kind of feelings. He was always hanging out with his Brian hyung. It was only when the incident happened to their band and when Jae experienced his slope they started becoming close. Wonpil pauses from his thoughts when he hears Jae continue.

“I was really thankful when you said you love me too. It felt like breathing again after holding everything in. It felt like I can do everything for you. I really want to do everything for you”

Wonpil blushes for the nth time tonight. He smiles as tears slightly fall from his eyes from the overwhelming feeling. He clenches his fist at the back of Jae’s clothes. He’s being loved too much. He didn’t know he’d deserve such person. As time pass by, instead of getting sick of Jae, he is becoming an ideal person instead that he wants to be with for the rest of his life.

Wonpil tries to respond, making sure his voice isn’t shaky so that Jae won’t know.

“Me too hyung. I want to do everything for you. I love you too, like a lot”

Jae smiles after hearing Wonpil’s response.

“Don’t look at anyone like how you look at me or else..”

Wonpil tries his hardest to break the hug so he can see Jae’s face. The tear stain isn’t there anymore but his eyes are still bit red, Wonpil didn’t know that and Jae doesn’t say anything about it. Wonpil notices how red Jae’s face, surely embarrassed by his confession but Wonpil doesn’t say anything about it either.

“Else what? What?”

“Secret. I won’t tell you”

Wonpil pouts and Jae’s eyes linger a little longer at his plump and inviting lips. When Jae couldn’t take it anymore, he pushes the younger to his back attacking his lips right away. And Wonpil smiles as if it’s what he really wanted to happen. He envelope his hands at Jae’s neck to deepen the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Or else.. I’ll marry you”
> 
> Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Save my soul after I finish this fic.. It’s so cheeeeeeeesssssyyyy..
> 
> Just to share, this was written even before chapter 10 and I edited it to match up with the last chapter. I was trying to put this anywhere but the way it’s written is so advanced. I almost deleted this but I tried to wait for the perfect timing of the character development and I think I finally found the right time.
> 
> This chapter is inspired of Wonpil’s sticky eyes to Jae..
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you guys liked it.. :D


	18. Bet On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sungjin, Younghyun and Dowoon bets on the couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy it.. :(

“Hyung, is it just me.. or something happened to them? I’m scared”

Young K sits beside Sungjin on the living room’s sofa as Sungjin checks Atom’s strings, tune and if it’s clean or not.

They both look at the couple. Jae is making coffee and the younger is sitting on the dining table looking at the older’s back while his feet swings in rhythm. As if looking at the older’s back is everything.

“Why are you asking me?”

“I wanted to ask Jae hyung too but they just give off the feeling of ‘Don’t bother us’. It’s a bit scary”

“Right? Right hyung?” Dowoon passes by but after hearing his Younghyun hyung’s opinion, he naturally points to his hyungs sitting on the sofa with wide eye and both looked at him where’s-your-manners-kid look. “I thought it was just me.”

Young K’s face lighten up after hearing the last sentence of the younger. “Right?” Young K points to the younger as they both giggle in excitement that they are thinking the same thing and even though Sungjin understands what they are talking about, he feels like a third wheel at this conversation.

Dowoon sits beside Sungjin. Now, Sungjin has both idiots sitting beside him.

“After the day off, those two really became weird.” Young K starts off.

“Right hyung, I’ve never heard them argue or glare at each other for the whole week now”

“They’re acting like newlyweds”

Dowoon’s ears tingled on the most perfect term that anyone can come up right now. He immediately raised his hand in front of Young K across Sungjin, to give him a high five and they did, still giggling like girls. Sungjin rolls his eye.

“Why don’t you guys talk and leave me alone?”

Young K and Dowoon quickly grab Sungjin’s arms before he can stand up and Sungjin just decided to put Atom down carefully in case they become aggressive.

“Why are you like that hyung? Don’t you think the same?”

The older sighs before answering “I do” And the two giggles once more after hearing their hyung’s opinion.

“They might’ve gone to a good place during the off. Wonpil asked me to extend our off for one more day.”

“What?!” Young K and Dowoon said in unison.

“You said it was you who had an emergency.. but it was actually Wonpil who needed..?” Young K couldn’t continue his sentence. Just because one member wants to extend a day off, he himself said it was him who had an emergency. It’s like a sacrifice..

Sungjin nods and the two looked at him as if he is a god. The person whom they could respect with all their lives. ‘Sungjin hyung is so cool’

“Yah! Stop being dramatic!”

“No.. hyung, you’re so cool” The two idiots immediately raised a thumb and Sungjin pretends that he thinks they are weird but actually he likes it. He loves it when the members praises him.

“This is really amazing. They are going the opposite way..”

Sungjin and Dowoon looks at Young K asking him to explain further.

“No, usually when the relationship turns old.. couples usually find each other’s flaws, they’d be irritated of each other, get tired.. you know..”

“Is that what happened to your failed relationships?”

“Pfftt..” Dowoon tried to hide is laughter but his Sungjin hyung really scored with that one. Young K gasped, glaring at the two, he is taking back his praise to Sungjin. Sungjin remains unbother despite of the younger’s glaring.

“But you know what.. that’s a really good observation.. I’m thinking about other things” Sungjin smirks, intriguing the two.

“What?”

“Aaah! Tell us hyung!”

Sungjin’s still smirking to himself. “You know.. Wonpil told me that they went to the beach. What do you think people do when they spend a night on the beach?”

The two younger stared at each other for a bit, finally realizing what their hyung mean.

“Seriously hyung, is that the only thing you can come up?”

“Why? They couldn’t have their own privacy at the dorm so why not take the chance...? At the beach”

Sungjin laughs to himself. Young K and Dowoon couldn’t believe that their hyung can just come up with something dirty. It’s not that they are pretending to be innocent, it’s just.. it’s coming from their leader’s brain. Young K is really canceling every praise he said for Sungjin but he can’t be wrong either. In some cases that do happens.

If Sungjin’s right it could mean that Jae has already passed his panic gay phase. And it’s another day for Young K to investigate.

 

 

“Dowoon-ah.. wanna play detective?”

Young K calls out to Dowoon when the other members are still busy doing their make up. The two of them sits on the waiting room as they wait for the staffs to finish the preparation for their photo shoot. Dowoon smirks at the suggestion.

“I know what you want. You’re curious about what happened on the beach”

Young K grins, it means Dowoon is in. And the two fist bumps at the same time Sungjin enters the room. Sungjin raises a brow before flopping down on the same sofa.

“Why are you leaving me out? Count me in”

“Do you even know what we were talking about?” Dowoon asks.

“Weren’t you talking about what I said last time? I know you guys are curious too” Sungjin acts a bit cocky. Too confident with his guess. Over the years he spent with his four childish members, he sure had developed the instinct to read them. Leading a band is sure difficult but it’s fun.

Young K pouts and Dowoon looks away, making it more obvious.

“What were you planning?”

“We’ll just investigate, get an answer from them, that’s it” Dowoon explains.

“That’s it? That’s no fun”

The two looks at the older looking forward for the ‘fun’ Sungjin is talking about.

“We can make a bet”

Again, again with that bet.

“Who thinks something happened?”

All three of them raise their hand.

“If all three of us has the same answer then this bet won’t work”

But the two are really convinced that something happened.

“What’s the prize?” Dowoon reluctantly asks.

“We can talk about later.. we have to—“

“Okay okay.. I’ll take ‘no’ and if I get it right you have to do what I want for a week and if you guys win, I’ll do what you want for a week” Dowoon doesn’t really want to but his hyungs won’t back down and as the maknae, he have to give way to his stubborn hyungs.

“Yah, are you sure?” Young K asks the maknae, feeling bad for him because he is obviously convinced that something happened to the couple.

“Yeah.. I guess” Dowoon starts with his pitiful act again just like every time he feels like it and Young K doesn’t even find it suspicious, he just innocently feels bad to the younger.

Sungjin lies down after seeing the dramatic sight. He’ll just sleep while waiting for them to finish their drama.

“No, let’s exchange. I’ll take it instead”

“No hyung.. it’s alright”

“No—“

“But—“

“I—“

It’s really starting to get into Sungjin nerves with all the noise pollution. He went back to his sitting position.

“Why don’t you two stop flirting in front of me?!”

“I—“

“We—“

The two looked at each other for a second before Young K could go back to his senses. He looks at Sungjin as if he is sure.

“I say nothing happened”

“Me too!” And Dowoon second demotions.

“Okay then we’re clear”

The two immediately regrets saying what they didn’t mean. They always lose it when Sungjin’s irritated. He is a leader indeed.

 

“Okay.. Sungjin, Jae, you two are taking a shot together”

“What are we gonna do?” Jae asks the photographer.

“Make it like you are with the nature. Just simply happy then. You can act however you want”

The two nods, walking to the white sofa. Jae sits and Sungjin lies down on his lap as they get ready on their positions. Young K and Dowoon watch Sungjin and Jae laughing all throughout the shoot.

“Is it itchy?” Sungjin asks as he brushes his buzz cut head to Jae’s stomach.

“No, my clothes are thick”

“Ah really?”

Young K and Dowoon thinks their topics are so nonsensical but it’s so easy to make Jae laugh and obviously Sungjin is doing his best to make the older stay in a good mood so he can ask him questions.

They almost forgot that Wonpil is beside them looking busy with his phone. Thankfully Sungjin’s target is Jae, it’s easier to ask Wonpil.

“Hyung, what are you looking at?” Dowoon sits closely to Wonpil so he can look at his phone and Young K follows.

“Nothing, I’m saving music I want to listen so I can recommend it on the next Vlive”

Dowoon hums, thinking of a topic but it seems like he can’t think of anything, he decided to be direct instead.

“By the way hyung how was your visit to your parents? Did you send my regards?”

“Of course I did. I told them you feel bad about it...”

“Then? What happened?”

Wonpil put down his phone to look at Dowoon.

“Nothing, Jae hyung slept over then mom tried to feed him so much” Wonpil chuckles and Dowoon and Young K did as well, they know what Wonpil is talking about. Each one of them experienced being over fed by Wonpil’s mom.

“I suddenly missed your mom” Young K thinks about the amount of food Wonpil’s mom can cook for him, he loves it so much.

“You should’ve gone with us”

“Why would I? Then I will be the third wheel. I don’t want it” Young K sounds so unpleased to imagine it.

“I get it hyung. Don’t get mad. How about you two? What did you do?”

Young K suddenly blushed, a bit surprised of the question when Wonpil doesn’t really mean anything behind it. Wonpil and Dowoon wonders why their hyung acting strange.

“Are you.. you.. okay.. hyung?” Wonpil shifts his eye to the two, not really sure if there was a problem with his question.

“You three are next..” A staff came to announce and Young K couldn’t feel luckier. He shouldn’t be thinking so much but he does. He is scared that Jae tattled to Wonpil about him and Dowoon.

“Let’s go?”

They nod, quickly standing up from their seats to get ready. With their shoot, Wonpil sits in the middle of Young K and Dowoon and the three of them smiled in the camera until the photographer is satisfied.

“Let’s go with the group photo”

And the photoshoot continued without being able to ask the most important question to Wonpil. The two wondered how Sungjin did.

 

“Hyung.. psst..” Dowoon calls out to Sungjin who just changed to his casual clothes.

“How was it?” Dowoon anticipates. He knows Sungjin did well after squishing Jae’s face in his thighs, including the smacking of the head that Jae didn’t really cared about.

“I asked Jae hyung, he said his date was like a spy mission but it seems like he enjoyed it and apart from that.. I couldn’t ask him any further because of the shoot but he’s in a good mood so I’ll continue later. How about you?”

“I don’t know hyung. I started the topic but it suddenly shifted to food then Younghyun hyung started panicking when Wonpil asked him something. Whatever. Younghyun hyung ruined it. I’ll just try it again later”

Dowoon sounds so irritated making Sungjin ruffle his hair as he quietly laugh.

“That’s alright, we can do better”

“I won’t come with Younghyun hyung later. I’ll do it on my own”

Sungjin shakes his head. Their maknae is definitely mad.

 

Dowoon knocks Wonpil’s room before opening it. He peaks at the door.

“Oh, Dowoon-ah. Why?” Dowoon sees Wonpil putting a cream on his face.

“Hyung can I borrow your.. what was it again?” Dowoon scratches his un-itchy hair.

“Come in.. think about it” Wonpil says without a hint of suspicions and Dowoon comes in immediately, inviting himself to sit at Wonpil’s bed. “Do you want to try this?” Wonpil shows the facial cream he was applying earlier.

“Is it good?”

Wonpil shrugs. “I just asked for Jaehyung hyung’s recommendation. I’m trying it out for the first time”

Dowoon accepts the facial cream as he stands up to face the mirror.

“Hyung.. we haven’t finish talking earlier.. so.. what happened after? I’m really curious, I heard from Sungjin hyung that you and Jaehyung hyung went to the beach” Dowoon applies the cream gently.

“Ah, that? I asked him out for a date. I’ve never really done enough for him. I feel bad about it”

“Enough? What’s enough for you hyung?”

Wonpil’s taken aback of the younger’s question. Not really sure how to answer it.

“I.. I’m not sure.. Maybe when both of you are satisfied of each other?”

“You think he wasn’t satisfied?” Though Dowoon had questioned their relationship before because they are like they haven’t changed due to fact that they still argue and tease each other but after that moment when Jae got sick, throughout their whole relationship Dowoon never thought that there’s lacking from them. He started to see more than what he usually see. The two doesn’t really show affection every single day (Wonpil does but it’s toooooo normal) but every time their eyes meet he can always see how it’s filled with something special. Different from how they look at other people.

“No.. it’s not that.. I just think I’m a burden to him sometimes. I’m like the weakest link in this relationship so I just thought if I could be with him somewhere else, I can be honest. I might grow stronger”

“Then? Did it work?”

“It.. did.. I think so..” Wonpil slowly respond, blush showing up in his face and Dowoon can see his reflection on the mirror. A small smile crept in Dowoon’s lips as he puts the cream back to its vanity. Dowoon sits beside Wonpil.

“Can you tell me hyung?”

Wonpil nods, eyes looking at different places as he excitedly think about Jae. Wonpil tries to be as calm as possible when he starts speaking.

“You know he always pretend like he doesn’t care and when he talk, he always talk in the opposite way. Though he is sweet sometimes, he cares and he do lots of things for me but that night.. it was really different. That time.. Jae hyung was so.. so honest to me. It felt like he is confessing his whole heart. Have you ever felt like.. like you are already in love but you can still fall in love over and over again?”

“No.. but I have witnessed that scene for the whole week. I almost thought you guys secretly got married”

Wonpil chuckles. It sounds impossible but if he could, why not? Then he realized that what Dowoon said isn’t really a good thing.

“Dowoonie, are we that obvious? That can’t happen. I have to be extra careful”

“You’re alright hyung” Dowoon smiles thinking that his hyung is just exaggerating but Wonpil is serious about it.

“That’s not good Dowoon-ah. I don’t want anyone to know” And Dowoon’s smile fades away. They became quiet for a while until Dowoon breaks the silence.

“Hyung, I know I’m not in the position to ask but until when can you hide it?”

“While I’m still alive. I can’t ruin all of us just because my endorphins are acting up. I’ll have to protect our band. Aren’t we a forever band?” That was what Dowoon said before, he really wants their band to be a forever band just like how he express it all time, even in broadcasts. He loves his hyungs a lot, he is grateful to be part of them and he doesn’t want to ruin it. Isn’t it the reason why he is always working so hard to be the best drummer? Because he wants to perform with his hyungs for a very long time?

“How?”

“Until Jaehyung hyung wants me by his side.. I’ll do it”

“Why do you talk like Jaehyung hyung should decide with everything? How about you hyung? How about you and your choices..”

“I know it’s weird but I don’t think I have any other choices. I chose Jaehyung hyung, that’s it. The best thing I can do for all of you is keep this to myself so I could protect us”

Again, Dowoon became silent. Digesting every word his Wonpil hyung said. Life is so unfair, he thought. It must’ve been so hard for him to go through all of this.

“You’re really matured now hyung.. Jaehyung hyung is so lucky. He should keep you for the rest of his life”

Wonpil smiles at the thought. It would be nice to do that if the world will allow him.

Dowoon has long forgotten what he should be doing in the first place.

“I should go now hyung”

“But you said you’ll borrow something. What was it?”

“I really forgot. I’ll ask for it when I remember”

“Okay but shouldn’t you sleep here?” Wonpil grins widely and Dowoon knows that he won’t be able to escape him.

“N-n-no hyung..” Dowoon couldn’t protest when Wonpil quickly grabbed him with the arm to lie down.

“Let’s sleep Dowoonie~”

“Ah hyung.. I wanna go to my room” Dowoon says in horror as Wonpil snakes his arm and legs to the younger’s body so he couldn’t escape. Too much skinship, he needs help.

“You can’t~” Wonpil chuckles as he closes his eyes.

“I’m gonna tell your boyfriend”

“Do It tomorrow.. Let’s sleep for now. Good night”

Dowoon did said this on a radio program before, he do misses Wonpil’s bed sometimes. He’s so used for his hyung to sneak in on his bed or take him to his room so he doesn’t sleep alone. Wonpil is like a childish brother to Dowoon and even if he acts like he doesn’t like sleeping on the older’s room, this feels like home. Just like how Wonpil embraced him with all his heart when he was still new and an awkward member of the band.

Dowoon couldn’t sleep for a while. He tossed and turn for thirty minutes. He just remember that he should be asking his hyung about different else but they suddenly became serious and went the wrong way.

“Are you okay Dowoonie? Are you uncomfortable?” Wonpil asks, eyes closed.

Dowoon deeply sighed. He should just ask it instead of going around the bush. This is meant to be asked anyway.

“No hyung.. I’m just really curious.. Sungjin hyung, Younghyun hyung and I were talking about the day off and Sungjin hyung told us you guys went to the beach then Younghyun hyung and I felt like something happened to the two of you after you went then Sungjin hyung suddenly talked about some.. some..—“

Wonpil cuts off the serious and deep explanation of the younger. He knows what he is talking about.

“We didn’t do anything else. We literally went to the beach, drank a bottle of soju and sleep. What else are we gonna do?”

“Really? Nothing?”

Wonpil hums, he’s been calm with every word he said. “Congratulations. You won the bet”

“Hyung!! You know?!” Dowoon’s too shock that his hyung can be this calm.

“How can I not know? You were literally talking behind our back and at the photoshoot, don’t you think it’s weird that Jae hyung and I came late to the waiting room?”

“Ah, so you also heard that? And Jae hyung too?”

“Of course. So what’s the prize?”

“Sungjin hyung will do anything I ask for the whole week. Younghyun hyung also chose the same side as I, so..”

“That’s nice. Get your revenge. How about you speak banmal to him for the whole week?” Wonpil and Dowoon laughed so hard at the thought and Dowoon felt like it’s interesting to do that but what if Sungjin kills him after the week.

“I don’t think so hyung, I don’t wanna die yet”

“Right? Think wisely, this is a great opportunity for you.”

After the atmosphere died down, Wonpil went back to closing his eyes. Trying to sleep. While Dowoon‘s back to his own thoughts. He just can’t erase the thought of everything that Wonpil said earlier.

“but I still wish that someday.. someday they will be accepting” Dowoon says without context. If anyone will hear him, they will think Dowoon is talking nonsense but Wonpil can understand where he is coming from.

“It’s alright. You guys loved and accepted me. I’ll be satisfied with that” Wonpil and Dowoon softly laughed along. His hyung is really confident of them all the time but he is right, he couldn’t help but agree. He is their one and only Wonpil hyung that they couldn’t help but love.. just.. if he lessen the skinship it would be better, still he will be less Wonpil if he isn’t touchy.

 

The next morning Wonpil and Dowoon came out of the room at the same time that earned a raise in a brow from Jae who just came out from his own room too.

Wonpil smiles widely when he saw Jae, not caring about the jealous eyes that’s going back and forth from Wonpil to Dowoon. Wonpil holds on to Jae’s arm to pull him down a bit so he could whisper on his ear. Dowoon couldn’t hear anything but Jae gasped and laughed as if he forgot what he just saw earlier. Dowoon wonders what kind of words Wonpil can come up to make Jae calm down. It seems like the couple has forgotten the existence of others and has started talking to themselves. Dowoon went to the living room to see Sungjin looking so disappointed and Young K smiling from ear to ear. He walked closely to them.

“I guess we all know the answer now”

Young K raises his palm to Dowoon and they high five.

“I can feel my wallet going empty”

They know so well that Young K will definitely ask for food, lots of them and Young K is so happy to choose the right side all thanks to the maknae.

“Bob, accept defeat. It’s your fault anyway.” Jae and Wonpil walks in together and sits on the empty seat.

“Why didn’t you do anything on the beach?” Sungjin asks disappointingly.

Jae and Wonpil blushes from the thought and when their eyes met it suddenly felt weird that Jae has no choice but to throw all the existing pillows on the living room at Sungjin for distraction.

“Shut up!” *throw*

Wonpil tries to stop Jae but it seems like he couldn’t hear anything. “Hyung—“ Everyone laughs even Sungjin is laughing as he try to block all the pillows flying. They all laugh like there’s no tomorrow.

“What are you talking about?!” *throws*

“Hyu—“

“Why are you forcing us?” *throw* 

Wonpil decided to let him be. Sungjin needs to be punished anyway. Wonpil thinks this is the first time he’s thankful that Jae is the eldest member of the band, Sungjin just can’t fight him the way he could with the rest of them.

“You!” *throws* “Bob the builder!” *throws* “I’m gonna kill you!” *throws*

 

—————

Last night:

“Sungjin-ah!” Jae calls out to Sungjin. Sungjin looks like he just finished washing up after the long day.

“Why?” Sungjin walks to Jae, checking what he’s up to.

“You lost on your own bet Park Sungjin!” Sungjin got a wide eye. ‘It can’t be’. Jae laughs at him.

“Did you—?”

“We heard everything.. why is your mind so dirty? I’m sleepy. Night”

And Jae walks in to his room leaving the Park Sungjin in shock state. He’ll be a slave for a week. If only his brain isn’t dirty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The BriWoon high five was inspired by JaePil high five on Twitter Show where Sungjin was just looking so awkward in the middle 😂
> 
> The photoshoot part was inspired by 2nd Gen Behind shoot and the Park Bro’s moment really happened :,) So happy for those scenes..
> 
> The DoPil chitchat sleeping in each other’s room is inspired by Dowoon’s moment on Melon ASMR Radio where he said, he used to dislike Wonpil on his bed but as time passed by sometimes he misses Wonpil sleeping on his bed.. :( Poor baby..
> 
> This whole chapter is inspired by lots of Day6 moments.. This is really a canon haha!


	19. 바래

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The author gave up on the summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! I’m sorry for not updating for too long. Got caught up with life. But good news, after failing a lot of times, I got a job now.
> 
> I hope you guys like it. The title is in Hangul cause I think it’s better expression than just saying Hope or Wish

“Hyung, what are you doing?”

“Shhh...” Jae‘s eyes widen as he push his index finger to his own lips, surprised by Dowoon’s deep voice that might be heard by anyone. The poor curious maknae is quickly grabbed by the shoulder to squat down together with his ‘oldest hyung’ as they both hide in a tall rack filled with ads.

“Hyung, you know that what you’re doing is weird right?” Dowoon says as he try to lower down his voice in which he doesn’t really have to do because the distance to the people he is spying on are like 10 meters away from them.

“What? I’m not doing anything weird?” Jae glances to Dowoon before going back to his focus.

“Hyung, you are so possessive”

“I’m not”

“Then, what is this? We are literally 10 meters away from them. Do you think they’ll hear us?” They argue in a whisper yelling sound.

“I’m doing nothing I’m just watching”

“Spying” Dowoon corrects the sentence and Jae rolls his eyes.

“Why don’t you just leave?”

“Yeah sure hyung.. I can just go there and tell them you’re squatting here like a fool” Jae‘s blood boils up. Just when the hell did he started disrespecting his hyung.

“Yah! Yoon Dowoon!” Jae stands up and the maknae got so surprise at hearing his loud voice that caught some curious look. He arise from his position to silence his hyung.

“Hyung.. shh” 

“Don’t shh me!”

Dowoon glances to see few people now looking at them as they cross their way but thank god they are wearing mask and caps or else.

“No i-it’s not” Dowoon wants to explain but its already too late, he worriedly sighs as he sees the two people walking their way.

“Hyung? Is that you Jae hyung?” A soft and sweet familiar voice tingles in the older’s ears. He began to feel nervous over this dumbness and all he wants is to blame Dowoon for it.

“Why are you here?” A cheeky voice follows in which Jae doesn’t want to hear right now. Jae looks at his best friend’s arms (probably not anymore) wrapped around his boyfriend’s shoulders and his boyfriend not being bothered at all. Well, they’ve been like that since they entered the cinemas.

The two are actually looking at them with pure curiosity while Jae and Dowoon couldn’t explain themselves. Jae also just realized, how the heck Dowoon is here?

“Yah, you.. why are you here?” Jae passes the question to Dowoon, turning his ears and face to red.

“I—I want t-to w-watch a movie too” He hopes it sounded natural.

“You?” Dowoon asks and now it’s Jae’s turn to be flustered.

“Me too.. I’m gonna watch a movie”

Even though the answers are a bit suspicious for the two they didn’t bother asking anymore, it’s time for their movie too so they better leave.

“Okay we got it. Buy your tickets. Younghyun hyung and I have to go. Our movie is about to start”

“H-hold on.. what movie are you watching?”

“Just some romance. For writing inspiration. Bye hyung”

Wonpil and Young K waves goodbye before they run off to the cinema station they’re assigned with popcorn in their hands.

“They sound suspicious. You think?” Younghyun chuckles and Wonpil giggles as he nod to his hyung.

“Jae hyung has turned possessive over you. You’ve got to be careful”

“What the heck hyung? Why would he?”

“I don’t know, ask him yourself. Also I don’t understand why you are insisting to watch a romance movie for an inspiration when you got a whole inspiration standing outside this room”

“How about you? Dowoon is here too. You think he wasn’t here for you?”

“What if Jae hyung and Dowoon compromised it..” Young K tries to make it sound more realistic than making himself believe Wonpil’s words.

In Wonpil’s mind, Young K is right too. That is possible.

“Hyung.. stop saying that. I feel weird”

Young K wants to continue the conversation but they finally got inside to look for their sitting number. It’s a bit dark so they have to be careful walking. When they found their seat, there’s still 10 minutes before the movie will start.

“Why do you feel weird when you two are dating? Are you embarrassed?”

“It’s not that.. I just.. can’t believe it sometimes that.. he is.. dating.. me” Wonpil says slowly as he blush in the darkness. Young K won’t notice for sure.

“Is this why your face is always like this to him?” Young K strings his both hands and leans it to his own chin while his eyes slowly blinks-blinks as he stares high above. Wonpil laughs at his hyung’s craziness that he unconsciously softly slaps his arm. Little do they know that there are two pair of eyes glaring at them as they laugh in their own little world.

—————

“I’m so tired” Wonpil groans as he rolls around Jae’s bed. Jae has been leaning his back on the left side of his bed as he read an English book, the language he grew up with but couldn’t understand at all because of this certain person who watched a romance movie with some other guy.

“Hyung.. are you listening to me?” Wonpil stretch’s his legs on the head board of the bed and now they are sitting face to face. Wonpil has been talking for a few minutes now but Jae didn’t hear anything. He looks at Wonpil blankly. Not sure what to reply.

“You’ve been on the same page since I came in. What are you thinking?” Wonpil asks with a hint of worry in his eyes and tone. And Jae feels like he fell for the younger all over again because he likes it when Wonpil asks him like that. That kind of voice sends butterflies to his stomach. Even if nothing’s wrong, he always want Wonpil’s attention.

Wonpil sits closely to Jae. Legs crossed as he reach his hand to Jae’s cheek but Jae is quick to place the book elsewhere and grab the hand.

“Don’t” Wonpil got disappointed with the older’s reaction but it’s fine cause he is not letting their hand go.

“Why?”

“Just.. don’t”

“Fine” Wonpil said before he leans in to kiss Jae on his lips. He held Jae’s hand tightly and so Jae did when their lips touched. Wonpil moves his way and Jae follows. This time Wonpil is leading them and Jae let him. They slowly explored each other’s mouth as if they can take all the time in the world. When Wonpil wants to move on a different position he sits on Jae’s lap and the older held him on his waist as the younger wraps his arms at the back of his neck. Ah, this moments like this they would always wish it could last forever. If they could only kiss until they are tired of each other. If only. The kiss broke and they stare to each other with a sparkle in their eyes. And they both wish once again that they would always look at each other like this until the end of time.

Wonpil smiles on Jae’s red and swollen lips. He likes his work of art and maybe his own lips looks the same right now.

“What now?” Jae asks. Curious of what’s going on his boyfriend’s brain.

“Your lips.. it’s pretty” Wonpil pecks another kiss and he giggles. Jae looks away, he’s kinda combusting right now. He feels like a little girl receiving compliments from his crush.

“Hyung” Wonpil calls out and Jae went back to his senses. He looks at the younger. “I will be working on a song, you can’t bother me tonight”

It’s normal for all of them to write a song and Jae doesn’t know why but that sounded really sad as if they won’t be seeing for a few months.. But he do knows the word ‘tonight’ isn’t just gonna be tonight, it’s going to take a lot of nights.

“I’ll go now hyung” Wonpil stares deeply in his eye and Jae weakly nods. Wonpil sends one last peck on his forehead, lips and maybe a few more seconds on his neck which sent shivers to Jae’s spine. Wonpil never kissed him there before. Jae’s stiffens with a wide eye. “Hyung, you know that I only want you right?” He paused for a second before he continued to say.. “I love you Park Jaehyung”

Jae understands it instantly. Of course he knows because he do too. He doesn’t want to underestimate Wonpil’s feelings for him but he just can’t understand his own actions sometimes. If you are in love, you become emotionally incline and it’s really scary. It’s a bad yet a good feeling just like today.

Wonpil goes down from his lap and he is really disappointed. He doesn’t wish for Wonpil to go after doing something like that. One day, if he ever gets a chance he’ll definitely grab it right away but this time he’ll let Wonpil write. For sure he have something beautiful in mind.

“Wonpil, me too” Wonpil smiles to his hyung for a moment, hands hovering on the doorknob before he finally opens the door and leave.

Wonpil learns that when Jae is jealous and he knows he shouldn’t, he becomes quiet but he wish Jae won’t be jealous again towards the members because it’s a lot more weird if they don’t argue in every little things.

 

———————-

“Wonpil-ah.. do you want to have lunch with me?”

Wonpil looks at his tall and pretty boyfriend with a messy hair on his door thinking if he should or not but he doesn’t have an appetite and he couldn’t finish the verse he was working on last night.

“No hyung.. Later”

“I’m not taking a ‘no’ as an answer. Go out. I bought the food on a store”

“But hyung.. I haven’t finished my work”

“I know and that’s why you need to eat more. I promise I won’t bother you again after we eat” Wonpil sighs. As a younger person it’s really hard to go against a hyung’s order. Even if they are dating, the culture instinct always comes out.

“Okay hyung” Wonpil answers weakly as he rise up from his seat.

Wonpil follows the older to the kitchen and notices how everything is already set. The bowls and the utensils are already in place but it’s just two.

“Where are the others?”

Jae shrugs and they sit face to face. Jae picks up his and Wonpil’s bowl and scooped a rice on it from the rice cooker. Wonpil watch him work on it in silence. It’s really weird when the dorm is silent and they too are quiet when they are the noisiest whether in talking and in their group chat. Jae isn’t trying to make any conversation and Wonpil doesn’t really know what to talk about. Wonpil wonders if Jae is still upset about watching a movie with his Brian hyung. However, isn’t that too petty?

“Hyung, you look tired” Wonpil said after Jae took his sit. Because he wasn’t wearing his glasses earlier when Jae was on his door, he didn’t notice the dark circles around his eyes but right now it became so clear.

“No, don’t mind me. I’m not tired. I just haven’t slept properly last night but I’m okay. Eat.”

Jae puts a piece of meat on Wonpil’s bowl and he smiles on the gesture as he scoop for the rice and gladly feed himself with the meat Jae gave him.

“You’re the one who look really tired. I know you are working hard but don’t push yourself too much, okay? I’m always here.” And Jae placed another meat on his bowl. Wonpil looks at Jae as he slowly nods. He just want to record this soft moment in his mind. Maybe if they get their own house, he’ll have this kind of sight everyday.

“What is it again?” Jae’s tone sounds irritated but not because he is irritated, it is because he gets shy every time Wonpil looks at him like that knowing that he is really doing his best to take care of the younger. He doesn’t know when will the younger would stop looking at him like that every time he do something. This is also one of the reason why he is so reluctant at doing something nice for him every time because Wonpil’s eyes are looking so fond of him that he doesn’t know what to do.

“How was the movie?” Jae pretends not to notice the way the younger looks at him.

“It was good but I realized Brian hyung said was right, I don’t need to watch any movie to get an inspiration when I got a whole inspiration in front of me. It’s just a waste of money” Wonpil says as if he is daydreaming. He is leaning on his own fist as he hold his chopsticks while looking fondly to the older. Jae’s eyes are a bit shaken, doesn’t know where to look but he is trying to get a piece of meat and feed himself. He is losing his appetite. Wonpil is just too much for him to handle. Wonpil is too good at his words and actions. It’s so unfair.

“H-how was the song your working on?”

“It’s doing okay. I think the lyrics is fine. I’m still working on the arrangements. I’ll show it to all of you once I’m done and if you all like it, we can go ahead and fix it as Day6 style but if you don’t that’s okay as well. I’ll just give it to you as a gift instead”

Wonpil smiles as he think of it and Jae isn’t sure if it’s a good thing or bad thing if the song he is making right now won’t be acknowledged but still, it’s Wonpil. The song should be a masterpiece.

“Okay, now shut up and eat your meal” Wonpil giggles and Jae feeds him a piece of meat with rice. He looks so happy. Jae would rarely do this for him.

“Hyung.. you’re too good for me. I want to give you a reward”

“Yah! Kim Wonpil! Aren’t you busy? Don’t do anything and just eat.” Jae is a bit startled with his own voice. He sure was screaming.

Wonpil chuckles to Jae’s reaction. He knows now what’s wrong.

“Hyung.. were you thinking weird last night and that’s why there’s dark circles in your eyes?” Jae is so triggered with Wonpil’s words. He is so bad at lying. Especially at something like this.

“Yah, Kim Wonpil! Shut up” Jae’s voice keeps on raising, his brows furrows and Wonpil couldn’t stop laughing.

“Aigoo... My hyung is growing up” Wonpil says as if he is talking to a little baby.

“What the hell are you saying? It’s your fault. Why did you do that?!”

Wonpil laughs a little louder, echoing the whole dorm. Jae just confessed that what he is thinking is correct. He tried to calm himself down. He still want to tease the older.

“Do you want me to do it again?”

“Kim Wonpil, if you touch me. Just know that there will be no writing or composing today”

“Okay, okay hyung. I won’t. I want to write. Just hold it in for a little while”

“What? What should I hold for a little while? You piece of—“ Jae stops himself from saying something bad in the table. God’s gonna be angry if he let his anger overthrow him. Wonpil is still laughing. He is too happy that he can tease Jae like this. A level that no one can tease him with, only Wonpil. Jae continues his food and didn’t bother looking at the evil guy in front of him who is still smiling to himself. When will he ever stop?

“After you eat, go to your room and don’t show me your face” Jae says as he cleans up the table.

“Hyung, do you want to ask me why I did that?” Jae sighs. Why would he want to know? Isn’t the answer too obvious. He just wants to tease. Jae looks down to Wonpil, unamused and uninterested at the reason but Wonpil isn’t smiling anymore. He looks at Jae as if there is a deep meaning in his eyes.

If he is joking, he doesn’t want to be fooled but Wonpil is making him curious.

“Why?” Jae asks quietly. Even if Wonpil’s answer’s gonna be a tease at least he’ll know it’s not something serious but still those eyes are telling him the opposite, as if there is something deep meaning behind those eyes.

“I want to let you know.. that you will always be mine and I will always be yours. I’ll tell them hyung. After the comeback. I’m gonna tell my parents just like what I told you the last time we went to beach. So, even if they won’t like me anymore and if you still want me after that, I will always be yours”

Jae’s a bit surprised by the answer yet he is proud of Wonpil. His respect and love towards the younger keeps growing day by day. As time pass by, instead of slowly getting used and getting tired of each other, the feelings just becomes stronger and deeper. If there’s one thing he would always want from the younger. It would be nothing else but him. He always want Wonpil to be his.

Yet, Jae couldn’t erase the worries towards the younger. In this country it’s still hard for them to accept this kind of love. They think it’s a disease even when there’s nothing wrong with it. He hopes his family won’t take this relationship against him. He hopes he can help them understand how much Wonpil means to him. He wish he can do something for him. He hopes he can be a better supporter. He just want to protect the younger by his side. They are older now, they’ve been together for a year and a half now. He knows they’re not wrong. There is nothing wrong with it.

“Okay and just like what I said. I’ll be with you at that time”

“Thank you.. hyung”

“I’ll go next after you” Jae finally smiles at Wonpil.

“I’ll be with you as well hyung”

“I know”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready guys.. This is almost done. I don’t know how many more chapters but I already wrote the last one before I went hiatus. I’m gonna think about how I’ll end this first then I’ll post another fic for you guys and just like always it will be an angst again.
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking around :) :*


	20. Still.. Smile For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil confesses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I supposed to say warning? There’s just a little sensitive part but it’s nothing, I’m just worried for those who feels sensitive too.
> 
> This is now a future so forget canon. I do what I do! But I’m honestly embarrassed to post this chapter..

Day6 finally made it’s comeback after the long delay. They know how long My Days have been waiting for them. During the fan meeting, the comeback date was announced. And just like that, they have been busy than ever. They went to various television shows until the comeback day. They performed on the music shows and just like always, just like every single moment of their lives, they did their best, wrote the best songs that My Days knows that they will love and they are proud. So proud of those who are supporting them and to themselves for working hard but what makes them proud the most was when they got their first music show award after three long years of debut. It was all worth it. The blood, sweat and tears they shed was all worth it.

The members smiled and cried as they look at one another. They held each other’s hands as their leader gives his short speech. There’s tears in his eyes but he is trying not to cry as he speak. Wonpil, just like always cries and Jae holds his hand for support. Young K holds the trophy behind Sungjin and Dowoon stands by his side. They squished each other’s hands as they watch their leader finish his speech. They all smiled widely on the camera. They are so thankful for the people who supported them and for finally letting them win.

They celebrated that night. They were congratulated by their families, by their company family and by their friends. They all drank and played together. They were all happy. They’ve never been this happy before. Finally, they are being recognized. People have finally seen their worth.

After the promotion they were all back to normal, they still have some schedules but not as busy as the comeback. They have more free time these days and Wonpil was thinking. He has been thinking for a few days now and he thinks he is ready.

Wonpil knocks Jae’s door and welcomes himself in. The older’s playing on his phone so he could only glance and say “What’s up?” to him. Wonpil sits beside him and watch him lose his game, again. Jae groans and throws his phone somewhere in the bed and Wonpil smiles. It’s still funny to see him lose every game. Why is he so bad at it? It’s been years.

“Games are not for you hyung, you should stop it” Wonpil picks Jae’s phone, placing it in a table on the bedside for safety. He lay flat on the bed and Jae follows. Jae looks a bit upset after losing the game but knowing that Wonpil is here beside him makes him feel better and so he held Wonpil closer and buries his head on the younger’s neck. Wonpil caress his hair and he finally relaxes, forgetting the upset feeling of losing the game.

“I lost because you suddenly came in”

“Now it’s my fault?”

“Hmm.. It’s your fault” Jae mumbles under his breath, sounding sleepy under Wonpil’s touch and Wonpil shows a toothy smiles that Jae couldn’t see but can feel. It’s really strange how it feels good when Jae blames him over something stupid.

“Hyung..” Wonpil looks to nowhere and Jae hums, eyes close, almost falling to sleep. It’s still two in the afternoon but Wonpil’s touch and voice can make him fall asleep.

“Hyung~” Wonpil calls out once again and Jae hums one more time.

“Hyung~” and this time Jae ignores him. He is beginning to fall into sleep so he hugs the younger tightly to make himself comfortable but then he remembers something.

He pushes himself to face Wonpil who’s eyes are still wandering somewhere until their eyes met. To Wonpil’s view Jae doesn’t really see him but he do, his eyes are just too small. Wonpil’s looks at him in a questionable way.

“Wonpil-ah.. are we telling your parents now?”

“I guess.. hyung”

“I noticed how calm you are these days. You must be thinking a lot”

“Is it obvious? Do you think the members noticed that I’m thinking too much?”

Jae shakes his head, softly sending him a kiss on the forehead and Wonpil naturally closes his eyes feeling Jae’s love and trust.

“You’re fine..” Jae’s right hand cups his face, rubbing his thumb to his cheek as he gives him a small smile.

“I’m so lucky to have you” Wonpil says and Jae didn’t say anything. These are the times when he is really shy to admit that he feels the same way but Wonpil knows what Jae thinks. His smile and his eyes says so.

“Yeah, you are” Jae finally says and Wonpil chuckles, the reply is not surprising at all. If he answers sweetly at two in the afternoon it would’ve been weird.

“When do you plan to tell them? Should I bring something?”

“In the weekends. We don’t have much schedules nowadays so I think it’s the right time. You don’t have to bring anything hyung.. at least what I can think of for now”

Jae hums and they stare to each other for a minute. He can see the worries in the younger’s eyes and it’s worrying him as well, he doesn’t know what’s the best way to comfort the younger.

“Wonpil-ah.. I know we’ve already talked about this and I’m not going to stop you if you really want to do it but if you think it’s gonna be difficult or you want to back out, always remember that it’s okay. We don’t have to rush. Like I said, I’ll always be with you as long as you want to keep me. We have all the time in the world”

“I know..” Wonpil quietly says. “Thanks for reminding me”

“Of course.. it’s the least thing I can do for you”

“You’ve done enough for me hyung”

“You’ve done much more for me. You just don’t know anything. Okay, don’t argue cause I’m gonna sleep”

Jae quickly goes back to hiding his head on Wonpil’s neck before Wonpil could protest and finally resting his eye. Wonpil do really want to argue but now that Jae has already closed his eyes he thinks he can just pass it for now and let the older sleep and so he went back to his position earlier and slowly caress the older’s hair.

“Dream of me” Wonpil says and Jae faintly hears him but he will.

 

—————

 

“Hyung.. are you ready?”  
Wonpil’s cold and sweaty hands tightly grips Jae’s hand.

“I should be asking you that”  
Jae softly smiles but he is definitely nervous yet just like in every stage performances in their life, Jae doesn’t look like one. He looks calm as well but his hands are trembling and Wonpil couldn’t notice because of his own anxiety.

“I am nervous.. and scared. I’m scared of how they’ll react and what they’ll say. I’m afraid they’ll judge us but if it’s not today.. when will it be?” Jae looks at the younger tenderly. He is worried and scared too but if Wonpil is ‘this’ determined, then it means he can do it too.

“Then.. should we go now?”

Wonpil stares at his parents house from the car’s window.  
“Why does it have to rain today?”

Jae stares at the same direction as the younger before replying “I know”

 

Jae and Wonpil finally walks out of the car and the taller holds the umbrella for them.

They asked their manager to take them to Incheon due to rain and now their manager is nowhere to be seen. They already talked earlier that they will be going back right away and so their manager decided to just wait for them while strolling around Incheon. Their manager never caught them before or maybe he did and just thought that it’s normal because every skinship Wonpil does are considered ‘normal’. Gladly, he decided not to stay in the car, at least they both can take their time and hold each other’s hand.

Wonpil didn’t let go of Jae’s hand even after closing the car’s door. They stand in the front gate and Jae waits for Wonpil’s cue.

“Will you really hold my hand when we go inside?”

“Can I?”

“Don’t you think they’ll be surprised?”

“I guess I shouldn’t surprise them that way.”

Wonpil’s fingers linger at Jae’s knuckles for a bit before letting them completely go.

 

“Son, why didn’t you tell me you’re— oh! Jaehyung-ah! You also came. I didn’t do grocery yesterday, what should I do? Do you want to have your meal first?”

His mom walks inside the house with a smile in her face and Wonpil feels guilty. What if.. if he choose honesty, are those smiles going to disappear? Will they accept it? Or are they gonna abandon him? Those questions were always in Wonpil’s mind and he did his best to not think about it but now that he is seeing his mom, the insecurity is slowly eating him. He couldn’t even smile.

“Mom” Wonpil says in a small voice.

“Why son?” His mom looks at him for a second before looking to a different direction to announce his arrival. “Hon! Wonpil’s home!” He yells at a room and turns back to Wonpil, forgetting that he was calling her earlier. Jae follows Wonpil from behind, he couldn’t smile. He knows what Wonpil is thinking right now. Maybe today’s not the right time.

“Your noona also came home two days ago, this is great. We can have our dinner together. It’s been a long time, right son?” She softly smiles to Wonpil before turning to Jae. “We also have Jaehyung today.. this is nice” and Jae forced a smile.

“Mom, I’m gonna change clothes first” Finally his mom notice that Wonpil isn’t in a good mood. He usually giggles and smiles widely when he arrives but today isn’t like that. Maybe, today is not a good day or something happened with work, still, she tries her best to smiles just like earlier. She doesn’t want her son to feel down. She looks at Jae’s face and it seems like he is concerned as well, concerned at Wonpil. Something must’ve happened to his son.

“Oh sure, sure.. Go ahead I’ll see what we have on the fridge and cook”

 

Wonpil enters his room and Jae follows.  
“Are you alright?”

“Noona is also here. What should I do?” They both seated on the edge of the bed. Wonpil looks down to his feet. He thinks of his mom’s smile. He doesn’t want to ruin that beautiful smile but he has finally decided. He wants to be real, not just for his relationship but for himself.

“Wonpil-ah.. you know that we don’t have to do it, right? We have lots of time to tell them. We are not in a rush. I will hold out for you. I can always keep this secret to ourselves”

“But.. hyung” Wonpil feels like his chest is being crushed and tears are forming in his eye. He hates how fragile he is. He hates how he can cry so easily. He hates how he lost the courage that he spend the time preparing. He thought he is ready. He thought he can do it. For himself. “You know that I’m not just doing for us, right?”

“I know.. I know you can’t stand hiding something from your family. I understand that.. but Wonpil-ah.. don’t push yourself too much. I’ll still be by your side when you tell your parents one day so if you think it’s not today.. then, don’t”

“No hyung, I can’t let that happen. I spent many sleepless night thinking about this day. I always thought today is the right time because if it’s not today then when will I be able to grow the courage again? I’m scared but.. if I don’t tell them..” Wonpil finally looks at Jae and his voice cracks. “I—I might not be able to tell them for the rest of my life and I don’t want to hide you from them.. even just from them.. Am I asking for too much?”

Wonpil fights the tears flowing from his eyes and Jae knows he couldn’t do anything and it breaks his heart to see him like this. He brings Wonpil to his arms and cradles them.

“No you’re not.. I— I didn’t mean it that way.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to hurt you.. I won’t stop you again..”

 

 

Wonpil looks at the dishes his mom prepared for them. As much as he love to eat his favorite food, he doesn’t have an appetite right now. His noona and parents are already on the dining table. They were just waiting for him and Jae to come out. He only changed his gray shirt to a blue one.

“Son, Jaehyungie, hurry up and sit. It’s good that you arrived at lunch, you must be really expecting me to prepare the food for you.” His mom keeps her energy up but the two aren’t like that.

“Jaehyung-ah, you enjoyed the dishes last time and that’s why you came back right?”

Jae tries to smile “Of course eommo-nim. Your cooking is really delicious. I’m sorry I couldn’t bring anything today. We were really busy but how was the facial cream I bought you?”

“Aigoo.. That? It was really nice.. look at my skin.. isn’t it better?” She touches her face elegantly, like those on the advertisements and everyone chuckles but Wonpil.

“Why didn’t you buy me anything?” Wonpil’s dad jokingly asks and Jae feels like he is dripping cold sweats with that question because he did asked himself about that. It was dumb.

“Ah, I’m really sorry abeo-nim. I could only order that one last time but if you want I’ll order one for you.. I saw it online, there is fo—“ Jae couldn’t continue his words when Wonpil interrupts. Wonpil has been quiet the whole time, he could not even touch his food. His noona notices his mood but she thought it’s not a good idea to ask him when their parents are having fun talking to Jae.

“Mom, dad, noona, I have something to say” His hand trembles under the table but he is ready now. He knows he can say it. If it’s not now, when will it be? The other four people on the table looks at him waiting for what he wants to say. Jae is anticipating as he reach out for the younger’s hand under the table and when he did, Wonpil grips his hand tightly and he feels more relax when he did.

“What is it son?”

“I’m gay” His parents just stared at him, not understanding what he is trying to say. Maybe they heard him wrong or something. They wish they did.

“W-what is it again?” His dad asks.

He looks at his dad without any reactions on his face. It looks cold. “I’m gay”

The smile on his mom‘s lips slowly fades away. His noona’s shocked for a few second but she later accepts it.

His noona looks at Jae and Jae felt the way she stares at him, he looks at her. She knows it by now and he knows she knows it by now.

His dad trembles in anger. His hold to his chopsticks tightens. Wonpil is their only son. If he doesn’t marry a girl then he won’t be having a child. There will be no next ‘Kim’. No one. It’s embarrassing to think how his only son likes boys. What will people think of him? That he didn’t taught him well?

His mom couldn’t believe what she has heard, it feels like her energy drained. She wants to be sad, to be mad but thinking about it, even if she does get mad, she won’t be able to do anything. In the end he is her son and it’s not like he did something that could harm himself. It’s just a change of gender preference. Just... that. Right?

Everyone stayed quiet. Wonpil couldn’t say any more words. It’s like he lost all the vocabulary he learned from kindergarten to college. His mind is empty right now and he doesn’t know what will happen. He is scared but he is not ‘that’ scared anymore. He finally said it. He can finally breathe. He doesn’t have to lie to his family.  
His noona is still glancing from Wonpil and Jae. She doesn’t want to say anything. She doesn’t want to put his little brother in trouble and his mom looks to somewhere, she thinks of his son as he grows up.

“Who knows?” His dad breaks the silence.

Wonpil gulps in fear of his dad’s voice. “Just.. the members..”

“Why do you have to tell us.. along with Jaehyung?” His dad turns to Jae. It seems like he has sense what’s going on now and his mom’s eyes widen. She finally understands the situation.

“Dad!” His noona says.

Jae got a bit surprised and stutters.  
“Y-you are right.. I—“

But Wonpil stops him. “Jaehyung hyung insisted coming here to support me. He has nothing to do with my decisions”

“You two are hiding something from us!” His dad raises his voice.

“No— fine. Yes, we are dating but please don’t do anything on him”

“No, Wonpil.. It’s okay” Jae squished their hand and Wonpil turns to him for a quick second.

“How long.. you two?” His noona finally asks, she’s been curious since earlier and the two turns to her, she is directly looking at Jae.

“Almost two years” Jae says and everything became so clear to everyone. Everyone becomes quiet.

“Please.. if you are mad, just scold me. Jae hyung doesn’t have to be here. Let’s send him home first”

“Wonpil-ah..” Jae softly calls out to him.

“Son..” His mom says in a small voice and it broke Wonpil’s heart. He is sorry for breaking his mom’s heart.

She wants to say something but she doesn’t know what to say either. How can she scold his son for this? Moms usually scolds their son when they do wrong or make a mistake but did he really wanted this to happen? His mom wants to believe the fact that Wonpil didn’t want to disappoint them and this is an inevitable turn in his life.

Wonpil gently clasps her small hands into both of his. He faces her as he tries to smile. There are tear stains in her eyes, she looks disappointed but she warmly looks at her son and that’s enough for Wonpil. At least she doesn’t look disgusted. “Mom, you don’t have to say anything, if you can’t talk to me I’ll go for now. I know you are having a hard time accepting it, I once did too.. I understand you completely.. I’ll be back once you call me. Okay?”

When Wonpil finally let his mom’s hand go, he looks to his dad but he looked away and Wonpil is disappointed. It hurts but he understands. He completely understands.

“Hyung.. Let’s go” Wonpil reaches out for Jae’s hand under the table once again and Jae tangles their hand. Wonpil’s hand is still cold but he looks relax than earlier.

Jae resists from getting up and Wonpil looks at him in wonder. “Hold on” Jae looks to his parents.

“Eommeo-nim, abeo-nim, I love your son. Just in case you’re worried of him and you think our relationship won’t last.. it will. We’ll prove that” Wonpil squishes their hand as he look directly to the older. He is always thankful to have Jae by his side but he’s never been thankful as today. Today, it’s more than being thankful or grateful and he couldn’t find any word to match what he is feeling right now.

His mom and dad may not like what they are hearing right now but he hope one day, they’ll accept what he has become and how happy he is with his decision and especially the person he chose to be with.

“Let’s go” Jae looks to Wonpil and squishes their hands back.

His mom didn’t say anything, his noona doesn’t want to get involve, not yet and his dad doesn’t know what to say. He still thinks it is not true. How can a man love a man? How is that possible? But he didn’t speak his mind. He is too surprised. His head is aching, he don’t know how to handle this and if he do gets mad, what will happen? Will it change anything? And so he didn’t said anything for now. He’ll calm down and talk to his son when he is in the right mind.

Wonpil and Jae left hand in hand.

 

——————

The moment they both reached the car, Jae immediately comforts him.  
“Wonpil-ah, you did well today” He proudly smiles on him as he carefully leans in to give a kiss on his forehead and Wonpil smiles widely on him but he couldn’t control the liquid covering his eyes. He knew he did well today but his heart is still aching for his mom and dad, he couldn’t forget the silent disappointment of his dad and the confusion on his mom’s face. He is sorry for not reaching their expectations, for being different but he’ll never be sorry for telling them the truth because that’s what he wants for himself, for him to be happy. In the end, this is going to be for himself.

“Don’t cry.. It’s gonna be alright” Jae holds Wonpil tight. He knew he’ll have to do this a lot today and he isn’t gonna get tired, his heart is aching for him but he will always be proud of his little pill. “You did amazing today” Jae whispers on his ears as he hold him closely to his chest and Wonpil tried his best not to sob. He wants to hold everything in until he comes back to their dorm.

“Call manager hyung please, I want to go back now”

 

When they arrive at the dorm, it’s already evening and Sungjin is at the living room. The moment they came in, he knew something’s wrong with Wonpil. He keeps looking down so he looks at Jae right away to at least get an idea of what’s happening. He ponders if they got into a serious fight just like years ago but it doesn’t look like the case because Wonpil is holding on to Jae’s arms. Jae couldn’t give him an answer and they went directly to Wonpil’s room. Sungjin couldn’t do anything and go back to what he was watching. It might just be a couple thing and he hope they are okay.

“Pil-ah..” Jae says the moment he closes the door.

“Hyung.. I want to cry. I don’t think I can hold it in anymore”

“Of course, of course. There’s no problem with crying. Come here..”

Wonpil hurries to Jae’s arms to find the comfort that he needs. Jae’s slammed on the door as he hold the younger on his arms. He cried into the older’s chest and his cries turns into sobs that even Sungjin can hear now. His tears wets Jae’s clothes and Jae couldn’t care less, he caress the younger’s hair, he rubs his back to comfort him as he repeats “It’s going to be okay..” “You did well today..” “Your amazing” “We’ll be back there and I promise you, they’ll accept us”

When Wonpil finally looks to Jae, his eyes are red and it’s becoming small. His hair is a mess and his voice became deep. “Hyung.. I can’t forget the disappointment in their eyes. Did you see it? It hurts here, hyung. Here!” He pounds his chest wanting the pain to disappear and Jae stops him. He holds his wrist with all the strength he have so the younger can’t hurt himself.

“No Wonpil-ah, it’s not like that. They were just confused. Do you remember when you were also confused of your own feelings? It was just like us at the beginning. Eventually they’ll understand you too and it’s gonna be alright”

Wonpil looks at Jae in the eye and he can see how worried the older for him. He feel so bad, he feels sorry for being weak at times like this. And so he tried to calm down as he ponder on a lot of things. It hurts to see how disappointed his parents of him but he forgot that the person in front of him won’t want to see him cry like this. It was his decision, he should be responsible of himself, if he can say it, he can also make his parents understand him. He will work hard on that. Today isn’t the end, there will still be next time. He can always wait for his family because they are his family.

“I’m sorry if I’m like this..” Wonpil says in a small voice and Jae finally let his wrist go and cups his cheeks.

“You are worried of them, I understand”

Tears starts brimming into his eyes once again. He doesn’t know what to do without Jae. How can he always make his heart crumble like that? “You always understand me, why?”

“What do you want me to do?” Jae carefully wipes the tears coming out from his eyes as he smiles widely to the younger.

“I don’t know. Thank you.. earlier.. that was really brave of you.. I guess I have no choice but to love you for the rest of my life. Are you sure you won’t be tired of me? I’m annoying, I always act cute, I keep teasing——“

Wonpil couldn’t continue his words when a sudden pair of lips stopped him from speaking. They both giggle right after and their foreheads are still pressed.

“How about you? I’m——“ Wonpil also did the same thing and Jae laughs at their actions. It’s childish but so heart fluttering.

“Whatever you were trying to say, yes”

“Good, then we won’t have a problem” They keep smiling widely to each other. In the same position as they were earlier. Wonpil finally feels better and Jae is just glad that his Wonpil is smiling prettily to him again. Wonpil’s eyes lingers to Jae’s eyes and lips, Jae noticed that but he would really like to play hard to get sometimes. Jae still couldn’t forget the kiss Wonpil left on his neck. A little revenge isn’t bad.

“I’m hungry, let’s go”

“Me too” Wonpil says, eyes flirting to the older lips. He steps closer until there’s no space between them and Jae pretends he didn’t notice it though he’s pretty obvious.

“Oh yeah? Then move now, I’ll have to open the door”

“No..”

“I thought you’re hungry”

Wonpil whines like a baby, he bites his lips and he doesn’t say what he wants. Jae took this as an opportunity to push the younger away so he could open the door and run away. Jae laughs when he got outside making Wonpil giggle, so Jae was just actually fooling around him and he chased him in their small living room but then they realized there are people who are actually sitting on the sofa, who were worried sick of Wonpil after hearing his loud sobs.

They both stands up properly.

“When did you arrive?” Wonpil asks his Brian hyung and Dowoon.

“Earlier?” Young K replies like he is unsure of his answer.

“Okay?” Wonpil replies like he is unsure as well.

“Are you alright?” Sungjin asks Wonpil and Jae wraps his arms around Wonpil waiting for his reply.

“I guess I am okay”

“Then why were you crying like a ghost earlier? You scared us hyung” Dowoon says and Jae holds his laughter. Wonpil hits Jae’s side by his elbow.

“I’m sorry.. I’m just—“

“Did Jaehyung hyung tried to hurt you?” Young K inserts and Jae got surprised of the sudden turn out of the topic. How could they think badly of him?

“Us? Do you really think I’ll make him cry like that? Are you crazy?”

“It’s not like you didn’t make him cry before” Young K says.

“That was before.. I swear it will never happen again!”

“Why are you so defensive? You are scaring Dowoon” Young K continues that Wonpil got trigger with the mention of Dowoon’s name.

“Hyung~” Wonpil frowns and moves away from Jae’s long arms before he slapped him by his arm. Jae sometimes can’t believe how Wonpil cares about Dowoon but he couldn’t help his own boyfriend. He is so envious of Dowoon.

“Why are you hitting me? They are accusing me, shouldn’t you help me instead?” Jae asks as he rubs his aching arm.

Wonpil sighs. He just don’t get why he has to deal with this.

“Brian hyung, Sungjin hyung, Dowoon-ah, it’s not Jaehyung hyung’s fault so please don’t blame him. It’s my own problem and I was just asking for a comfort” Wonpil explains half heartedly and Jae just couldn’t believe him. Is he really expecting the rest to believe his story if he acts like that?

Wonpil sticks his tongue out to Jae and Jae knows that Wonpil will always be better at revenge.

“Aren’t you hungry? Let’s order something” Wonpil asks Jae as he walk to the others to look for the delivery man’s phone number.

“You guys should order too.. it’s my treat today. I owe hyung big time.” And the rest cheered just by the thought of getting free food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo.... uhmmm.. we are almost done.. I hope it isn’t boring.. or too dramatic.. I’m just really enjoying writing and I am always dramatic.
> 
> We are almost done. I have finished writing the last chapter but couldn’t finish the second to the last. I’m satisfied of how I’ll end this, I wasn’t expecting this fic to turn out this way. I didn’t know I’ll have a certain plot.
> 
> Thank you so much guys for those who are reading this chapter, you guys are amazing. I know I’m not good enough at expressing and describing the story but here you are.. I don’t even know if this fic is good cause I’m just really bored with life when I decided to write a continuation on this story.. Thank you once again <3


	21. A Good Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil visits Jae’s house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In no reason, I just want to clarify Jae’s character. It’s because I had no exact plot when I started the fic, I only depicted those moments when Jae is sweet to Pil but then I’m sure I have been saying in some parts that Jae is still the same tsundere Jae that we all know. And in this last 3 parts I think I have been trying to depict the daily type of Jae and Wonpil so I hope you guys won’t feel that Jae is out of the character. In the end I’m literally trying to follow their broadcasted characteristics.

“Mom, dad” Jae peaks to his parents room who are in the middle of conversation and it surprised his parents to his unannounced visitation but they are happy to see him. They hugged just like a casual greeting.

“I have something to tell you” He said right after. Bringing them both to the living room where Wonpil is waiting for them.

This isn’t Wonpil’s first time in his house, it’s just near Seoul so there’s really no problem for the members to visit him any time Jae’s mom calls them to have lunch or dinner in their house but that’s also only when they don’t have much schedules.

“Hey Wonpil..” Jae’s mom greeted and Wonpil formally bows 90 degrees to them.

“Eyy.. don’t overdo it.. It’s not like we’re not close” Jae’s dad protest over Wonpil’s action and the younger smiles at him.

They are all seated in the living room. His parents are face to face with them waiting for what Jae wants to say in the presence of Wonpil.

“It might surprise you but..” Jae tangles his hand to Wonpil that instead of Jae’s parents, Wonpil is surprised instead. He isn’t sure how Jae does his confession so naturally and he is afraid that his parents will react like his parents did. “—this is Wonpil, my boyfriend”

His mom gasps and covers her mouth. His dad doesn’t look like who’ll get hysterical either. They look ‘okay’. Like it’s normal, like it’s ‘okay’. His mom finally smiles and she stands up in front of Wonpil to give him a hug and Wonpil immediately stands up to reciprocate them. He feels really awkward right now but he is thankful that Jae’s mom is fine with it. Wonpil looks at his dad and he smiles at him, like he is accepting the situation properly.

They went back to their seats and Jae held Wonpil’s hand once again. 

“How long have you been dating?” Is the first question that came out from his mom’s mouth and Wonpil realized that, that kind of certain question must be really important in a relationship.

“Almost two years now” Jae proudly says and Wonpil watch him looking to his parents like that. He wants to remember how proud Jae is for them.

“But..” His dad utters that got Wonpil nervous. “How come we never caught you? Two years is too long and you’ve been here in our house dozens of times” His dad raises a thumb “You are amazing. I guess I can trust you at hiding your relationship”

Wonpil smiles softly to Jae’s dad. He just can’t believe that he is hearing it from the father of the person he loves. He is so grateful that at least Jae’s parents are fine with their relationship. Tears welled up to Wonpil’s eyes, overwhelmed with how warm Jae’s parents are. He is crying again, he is really annoyed of how easy he could cry.

“Kim Wonpil..” Jae’s mom calls out his name softly that got all the attention on him. Jae smiles, he is not really surprised.

“Wonpil-ah. Why are you crying again? It’s okay” Jae cups his face and wipes his tears away.

“I’m not crying”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I’m just happy. Don’t look at me, it’s embarrassing” Wonpil swats the hand of the older from his face and the older just chuckled, like how his mom and dad are.

“How is it in your family? Do they know now?”

“They do.. We went there a couple of days ago” Jae replies instead since Wonpil is still in the middle of stopping his tears.

“And?” His mom asked in a worried tone.

“They are not really taking it positively so he was a bit worried when we came here and I’m sure he is crying is because he is not expecting this reaction”

“Is there anything that we can do for you? At least we can help?”

“No eommo-nim, it’s alright. I can handle it. What’s going on right now is already enough for me. I’m sincerely grateful that you’re accepting us like this. Thank you.. really. I’ll do my best to make sure that Jaehyung hyung won’t regret his decision” Wonpil finally speaks up.

“No need to thank us.. it’s your choice. If you really like each other then there’s nothing we can do. We’ll be happy for the both of you. If you want to get married secretly just tell me and I can take you two to America or Taiwan and help you with the arrangement” His dad chuckles and Jae woo’s at the idea. “I’m serious” His dad points out because he thinks Jae doesn’t trust him and Wonpil smiles at the image in front of him. This is just too perfect.

 

Later on, they had their dinner together and decided to stay over for the night. Wonpil spent his time talking to Jae’s mom and Jae to his dad. They have been separated the whole time after dinner.

Wonpil and Jae’s mom has been talking in their bedroom about anything. Even though Wonpil has seen Jae’s baby pictures before with the other members, there are things that only he just found out today. Just like how he was when he was learning taekwondo and when how he trained so hard at playing badminton so he could be part of the school’s team and how he learned guitar when he met a friend and made him realize that guitar isn’t only for the greater person but it can be for those who wants to be the greater person. Jae was always passionate of what he wants, despite of his allergies and weak immune system. This is what Wonpil admires in Jae the most, his passion.

“I’m glad that among the guys he spend his time with, he fell in love with you. He said you always take care of him when he is sick. You were always worried about him. I’m sure you are working so hard and harder for taking of our Jaehyung. Thank you so much Wonpil-ah, for worrying and taking care of our son when he isn’t by our side”

“But.. how did you know about that?”

“He told us. Didn’t you heard?”

Wonpil shakes his head and Jae’s mom starts explaining to him what happened.

“When he confessed to us and said he likes a certain guy, his dad was really mad at first because you know, we have a religion but then I wasn’t really mad at him. I thought it was okay. Maybe because we lived abroad for too long that I have adopted the culture so I told him it’s okay that I’m proud of him. I’m happy he told us because doesn’t that mean he loves us? And that’s why he is not lying to us? If it were just any kids, they probably won’t care about their parents opinion. But what happened is they had a talk and I talked to his dad as well, we tried so hard to make him understand though it took a really long time...”

“Eommo-nim, when you say ‘a long time’ how long was it?”

“I guess he didn’t really told you anything. He confessed to us last year. It took a few weeks but a few months before his Dad went back to his that energetic state but Jae didn’t told us he was dating you already, well he didn’t named you either. Maybe that was why he was working so hard about it. Our Jae is always passionate and hard working with what he wants, I didn’t know he could be that person in love too. My son is so admirable. It’s like he really grew up well”

“He really did.. thanks to your efforts.. and that’s why I couldn’t stop admiring him. Even by this day, he keeps on doing things that makes me fall for him every single day. He is such a strange person” Wonpil says as he looks to somewhere smiling by himself and Jae’s mom looks at him fondly.

“I knew it, my son is really good at picking his partner. You are such a beautiful person, you know that Wonpil?”

“What are you saying eommo-nim, you are the most beautiful person in here. Jaehyung hyung won’t be handsome if it weren’t for you”

Jae’s mom laughs at his gestures because Wonpil is obviously shy of what’s happening right now.

“Son, you don’t have to be so formal to me just call me ‘mom’ from now on”

“Ah, yes.. mom” Wonpil blushes and Jae’s mom smiles fondly at him.

 

—————

 

When Wonpil and his mom went to the bedroom Jae and his dad had a drink in their dining table.

“So.. two years..” His dad starts off

“Yeah.. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I just don’t want to pressure him”

“No.. no, it’s okay. It’s just I’m really surprised of how long your relationship now. I guess I like him. He’s such a good person”

“Thank you.. I know this is really hard for you but for accepting us, I really appreciate that. It’s one of the best things that has happened in my life. The first one was when you let me go to audition in Korea”

“Don’t worry, it’s not like that anymore. You’re all grown up. I shouldn’t have acted rashly when I know you already have your own mind. When you went to Korea on your own, I forgot that you worked really hard by yourself to become what you are right now. I understand now that just like what you did before, you also want to do the same for him. I can see that you already planned your life with him. If you really want to get married, I’m telling you, we can go right away to America”

“Dad!” Jae is kinda embarrassed of what he is hearing from his dad. He sounds like a fool in love but he know he is and he is really glad that his dad has finally let him go and do what he want in life.

“Wonpil always cries in your concert and seeing how he can easily cry just like earlier, you really can’t hurt him. He looks so pure”

“Are you siding him now?”

“Why not? He’s gonna be my son-in-law”

“Wah, you are really determined”

“Of course.. I know what’s going on in your little brain”

 

——————

 

“Hyung..” When Wonpil came out from the bedroom, as informed by Jae’s dad he looked for Jae in the dining room but he wasn’t there anymore. Wonpil went straight to Jae’s room expecting him to be there and when he called his name, Jae sits up right away who was lying earlier when he opened the door. Jae is a bit tipsy and he smells like alcohol. He saw the bottles on the dining and it was just two bottles of soju but still.. since Jae has a low tolerance, he must be drunk.

“Here.. your husband is here!!” With his eyes closed and messy hair, Jae lazily stretches his arms asking for the younger to hug him but the younger didn’t accept his invitation, instead, Wonpil puts down the older’s arms causing the older to pout cutely. He is definitely drunk.

“Why? Why? Why don’t you want to hug me? You don’t love me now? Who seduced you?!” Jae says a little louder in half English and Korean.

“Shut up hyung” Wonpil shushes the older a bit embarrassed that they’d be heard on the other room.

“I don’t want to” but the older is too stubborn and he is still acting all cute.

“Hyung.. I’m sleeping here but first let’s change clothes, okay?” Jae pouts once again, eager to sleep with the younger yet he nod his head like a little kid listening to his teacher then he slowly leans his head on the headboard of his bed, drifting to sleep.

Wonpil looks for clothes in Jae’s wardrobe and picks anything that looks comfortable and changed the older’s clothes. Jae smiled cutely at him, still eyes closed.

“Your husband missed you.. will you hug me now?” Jae asks like a child waiting for his prize. He stretches his arms once again in front of the younger, still in the same drunk state as he is.

“Okay hyung, I will” Wonpil nonchalantly says and went straight to the other side of the bed before he pulled the older closely to him and Jae smiles happily to his sleep. It is really a good day today. And Wonpil smiles to himself again, thinking of how everything went well today and how much effort Jae had done for him. He kisses the older at the top of his head before he drifted off to sleep.

—————

 

“Wonpil-ah..” Jae gently shakes Wonpil to wake him up and as much as he still wants to sleep, his ears perks up when he hears Jae’s voice.

Wonpil hums.

“I accidentally opened your text message and your mom want us to your house today”

Wonpil’s eyes opened widely and he immediately looked at his phone to make sure and it is true.

“What do you wanna do?”

“Let’s go hyung”

“Okay”

Before they left Jae’s house, his parents told him to visit them again next time so Jae’s dad could also have a conversation with the younger and Wonpil happily promised that he’ll be back though he is nervous just by thinking about it. As they travel along the train going to Incheon, Wonpil pondered about what Jae’s mom told him last night. He stares at Jae.

“Hyung, I heard everything from your mom”

“Yeah? I guess I was expecting that” Jae says as he put down his phone from scrolling on Twitter to focus his attention to the younger.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“At first, I just wanted to do what’s the best at that time. I thought if I tell them first, once I introduce you to them I can proudly say that I was actually dating you. I thought that was the right thing to do so I don’t hurt you. It was worth it. They like you. And for another reason.. I just couldn’t find anything”

“Hyung, thank you, for always.. always thinking about me. I’m sorry if I’m not good enough. I hope I’m not hurting you with what’s happening to me and my family” 

Jae looks down to his empty hand as he listens to the muffled voice of the younger.

“No, you’re not. Don’t be sorry. I told you it’s not your fault or nobody. It’s just that.. I liked you. That’s it”

Wonpil smiles behind his mask, remembering how cute the confident Jae was last night and aside from that, he really appreciates how Jae speaks to his heart all the time. “You’re confessing again”

“I know, I’m not really good at this so I want to say it in any chance I get. I don’t want you to forget”

“Hyung, even if you don’t say it. I know. I will always know”

Jae looks at him, eyes filled with so much meaning behind “I’m just.. really worried of you. Really..”

“You don’t have to.. I feel confident now.. If they scold me later just go behind my back and I’ll protect you from them”

“Fine, go ahead. Let me see what you can do” Jae let’s out a breathy chuckle so he couldn’t cause any disturbance to the other passengers.

“Hyung, there’s one thing I never got to know..”

“What is it?”

“How did abeo-nim accepted it?”

“Oh, that? I simply talked to him and told him I’m an adult now and I can handle myself. I asked him to try and understand me because this wasn’t my decision either. It just suddenly happened to my life. After that, he probably had lots of thoughts.. then we talked again and that was it. He told me, he’d trust me with my decisions from now on”

“Your dad is very cool..”

“Your dad will understand you too.. My mom said, there’s no parent in this world who can resist their child. I’m sure he’ll understand. Just be honest”

“Right? I’ll put my trust on you”

“Me too. You can do it Wonpil-ah”

Wonpil smiles for Jae and Wonpil thought, it would always be nice if in after every conversation they have, they could hold each other’s hands.

 

“Dad, can we talk that’s just us? With mom too if you would like.” Wonpil said the moment he stepped in after seeing his dad’s face.

Before this day, Wonpil has already been talking to his noona regarding his situation. It was his noona who texted him first after the day they visited his parents house and he was really thankful that his noona accepted him right away. In actuality, she has been cheering him up since that day and today he asked his noona to take care of Jae for him.

His dad didn’t respond but he knows that he agreed so he informed his noona right away. Jae was worried for him but he assured him that everything’s gonna be alright and just like that, Jae left with a heavy heart.

“Let me talk first..” Wonpil says after the three of them seated on sofa in the living room. His mom and dad are facing him and he looks up and down for a while from nervous and fear but he knows he can properly explain himself today.

“I have been thinking for several years about what I am. Who I am. I always thought something’s wrong with me and it really took me a long time to accept what I have become because I, myself didn’t want this happen. At first I really hated myself, then I have come to self pity and it just got worse every single time I’m realizing how different I am to any other guys but then Jaehyung hyung told me that it’s not my fault. That there’s nothing wrong with me—.”

“He only convinced you because he’s gay”

“Hon!”

“It’s nothing like that. Hyungie is a good person. I liked him first and he didn’t even know. When that happened, I became so sure of my identity but I was so insecure and I was afraid to get caught. Hyung taught me how to love myself. He accepted me as who I am despite of my insecurities and fears. I still understand if you think it’s wrong because I went through all of that too but I won’t be that person who’ll cry at night thinking how I hate myself for being like this. In fact I am thankful of what I am.. I really am.. I’m really happy. That’s what I really want to tell you.. I won’t ask you to accept me right now but I will always wait” 

“If you know it’s wrong then why are you still doing this? You should’ve avoided it”

“I tried dad but that didn’t work. I’m sorry but please don’t think that I have changed because I’ll always be the same Wonpil you had. I won’t change”

“It’s okay my son.. as long as you are still my Wonpil, I accept you. Thank you for putting your trust on us” His mom smiles and sits beside him.

When Wonpil felt the warm embrace of his mom, he reciprocated it right away and tears fell from his eyes. It’s too comforting to hear his mom. He’s been waiting to hear those words just like how Jae’s mom was to him. He hoped something like this last night and he is glad that this is happening. He will always be waiting for his dad because he still wants to hear those words from him.

Wonpil cried like a baby in his mom’s arms and she smiled like how she takes care of him when he was still young.

“My son has grown up but still a crybaby” He laughs in between of his tears. Her mom tears up from the overwhelming feeling and his dad watch them. Still a little bit shaken by his son’s words. He understands what he is trying to imply but at the same time he doesn’t want to accept it. It feels so wrong in this society. He is afraid that people will judge him just like how he was when he first found out.

“Dad, don’t worry about me.. I’ll be fine. I’m really good at keeping secrets. I promise no one will know” Wonpil says out of nowhere as if he can read his father’s mind and with that he felt at ease because he knows his son will always stand with what he think is right for himself.

 

—————

 

Wonpil’s noona crosses her arms while Jae sits in a proper manner, face to face with her. They went to a cafe near their house which is quite silent. There are at least 3 chairs filled, including theirs.

“Jaehyung -ssi, you don’t have to be so formal. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.”

“I know, I know.. I just can’t help it. It’s bothering me”

“Jaehyung-ssi, you don’t have to be obligated but can I ask you some questions? About you and..” Wonpil’s noona trails off, hoping he gets it and Jae let her ask right away “Anything” he said.

“Are you serious about my brother?”

“I have liked Wonpil for a long time. I’m serious about him”

She hums, expecting the answer. Wonpil also said the same exact thing.

“Were you always gay?”

“No, I’m not. I had girlfriends when—“ Jae clears his throat. Maybe it’s not good to talk about girlfriends with his noona’s boyfriend. “—I was in LA but Wonpil is the only guy I liked”

She almost thought it’s sweet but then she realized something’s also wrong with that.

“Then.. Wonpil.. made— I mean turned you gay?”

Jae couldn’t respond. He is not sure what to say. He never thought that way but it could be right? But then it could be wrong? It’s not like Wonpil forced him or anything. It was him who stepped on the boarder first but he didn’t answered after a minute and she started assuming.

“Woah! Really? I didn’t know my brother is capable of that?” She claps with no sound.

“N..no.. no.. I confessed to him first and I thought I liked him alone so.. I—he didn’t do anything. I liked him first.”

“Even if he didn’t say anything.. It sounds the same for me. If you didn’t meet my younger brother, do you think you’ll like any guys?”

Jae thinks for a few seconds. He never had this kind of thought before. In his mind, the moment he fell in love with Wonpil he knew it will just be Wonpil and there will be no one else after him. Jae thought, if it’s not Wonpil, will he fall in love with any other guys? Is he capable of loving anyone but Wonpil?

“No. I don’t think I so. I just like Wonpil”

“See? You only like my dongsaeng. Do you get my point now?”

“I do but that’s..” Jae paused and think of the most appropriate word to use but he couldn’t think of anything and said “..nothing”

“Please love my dongsaeng for a long time cause he really likes you a lot”

“I will..”

“Okay, I’ll trust you. I only have one brother and he never had any girlfriends.. he doesn’t know anything so if you dare break your promise, I’ll also break your leg”

“He said he did..”

“Huh? When?”

“When he was in kindergarten”

She laughs at the statement because that was always Wonpil’s excuse every time he is asked if he ever had a relationship. No one ever saw that mysterious kindergarten girlfriend before.

 

“Thank you.. noo-nim”

 

The day has never been better before. They ate together at dinner. Jae was a little awkward during the dinner because there was a lot of questions about him and Wonpil. The both of them blushed the whole time. The dinner was noisy but it’s quiet without his dad’s optimistic voice. His dad was very quiet that night, he still couldn’t adjust with this environment. He has to get used to it someday and one day he’ll accept his son. Wonpil didn’t change, he will never change aside from he has grown up and decided who he wants to be after choosing music for a living. He looks happier than ever. He deserves to be happy for being a kind kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I won’t have a canon but yeah, Jae and Karate, badminton and guitar are the amazing Jae’s..
> 
> I’m sorry if I don’t know anything about coming out.. huhu.. I like to watch and read BL stories so I just got some few ideas there.. It really took me a long time to write Wonpil’s part.. ㅠㅠ
> 
> I might post the last chapter tomorrow so look forward cause I’m so happy at how I ended it. I keep re-reading the last chapter ㅋㅋㅋ
> 
> Guys, may I know your favorite chapter/s? I’m so curious..
> 
> And again, thank you so much for spending your time reading this story, I will do my best to be better in writing in the future.. *90 degrees bow*


	22. Who Do You Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last, it’s the two of us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the part when you guys should listen to WHO DO YOU LOVE by THE BLACK SKIRTS. I was able to write this chapter thanks to it and in repeat. The scenes will fit with the song too..

Love is inevitable. Once the heart chooses who to love it becomes complicated. It will either hurt you or will embrace you. Love takes courage but it doesn’t mean we can be courageous all the time. What if it’s not right in the eye of the society? Will it still be called love? Will you be able to tell who do you love? Isn’t love supposed to be something that you can show off? But love isn’t supposed to be like that. Love is supposed to be accepting. Love isn’t supposed to be wrong because love will never be. Who we love doesn’t matter as long as we can be there for each other. Even if the other doesn’t know, even if it’s only you until.. until you find the right time to tell them. Even if it ends with a bad note, confessions will never be wrong, it’s no one’s fault because its what you felt and you mean to say and that’s what Wonpil thought.

The moment Wonpil fell in love with Jae, he would always.. always look his way even if he doesn’t intend to. He was confused, he broke down and cried by himself at the middle of the night even when he was still sleeping on the same room as Sungjin because he himself couldn’t accept it. Until one day he finally acknowledged his feelings but was too scared to let anyone know so he tried to run away as much as possible but also made Jae confused and caused them to fight so much until.. until it became worse that it affected their practices. Wonpil never wanted it to happen but all he can do is blame his stupid feelings. Love is inevitable, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it, he couldn’t because that’s who his heart chose. Wonpil’s heart chose Jae and he thought if he try harder he can keep them to himself until the day he die but he didn’t even have that kind of chance. Jae beat him at his plans. 

The day Jae kissed him was the day he thought he was dreaming but Jae was there with him when he woke up. He thought of the day he slept on Jae’s bed for the first time. It was warm and when Jae stood beside him when they were making food with everyone that was the time he felt Jae was his and that feeling scared him so much. It felt so wrong yet it is so right.

Jae became Wonpil’s sun when he was so afraid. When he feels like he is wrong. When he feels like Jae isn’t his. When he feels like Jae can leave him any moment. Jae understands him the most when it comes to his insecurities. He embraced Wonpil despite of his flaws. He held him closer every time Wonpil feels scared until Jae made every words and touch into a habit. Until Wonpil finally realize his worth on Jae’s side.

Every single day is like a discovery of each other and it’s like they are planting seeds, waiting for it to bloom by showering loves and kisses until it grows and becomes a flower. A beautiful flower. They are becoming beautiful each day, every single time they hold each other’s hand, hug, speak, kiss and even just by looking at each other. Everyday is perfect just by standing side by side.

Jae on the other hand had always been in love with Wonpil. If Wonpil thinks it was just him who experienced such crisis, Jae did too. He couldn’t accept it that all he could do is tease the younger until he didn’t realize that he was hurting him. He didn’t mean to make things difficult for Wonpil. He didn’t know. He was just too affected of his own feelings that he thought it was just him who was going through the sleepless nights of pondering why do we have to love? But he have no choice but to love who he love even if he don’t want to because that’s just how it is. He wondered if his heart didn’t choose Wonpil, who would he love? Who would they love? If it isn’t Jae, will Wonpil be happier to love and live a normal life? Jae wanted that for Wonpil. Jae wanted to keep everything on his own until he can find the right time to confess and let go, probably when it’s time for them to move out. When they are finally allowed to live in different places and would only have to meet up for practices and performances but the moment he set his eye on him, the night when they were all alone watching that sad drama made him realize that he wants to be selfish for at least once in his life. What he did may be impulsive and had a huge chance of causing a ruins to the band but he did what he can do because that was the main reason at the first place. The reason why they are fighting. The reason why Jae wants to fight Wonpil every single time. 

Yet the moment their lips touched, he thought he’ll regret it so much. He was so nervous he almost cried. Being impulsive isn’t good at all when a whole band is at stake but then he thought he did well for once in his life. When Wonpil kissed him back he was so thankful he could die but just kidding, he doesn’t want to die when he just found out their feelings for one another. If Jae didn’t kissed Wonpil back then, what would’ve happened to them today?

Wonpil is Jae’s real sunshine. Wonpil’s always taking care of him especially when he is feeling down. When he feels so wrong and useless. It’s so strange how Wonpil never gets tired of cheering him up when he himself have his own problems as well. He loves how Wonpil would pay attention when he talks. He loves the way Wonpil would laugh at his lame jokes. He loves Wonpil because he is Wonpil and even if he is scared and worried of how they’ll future will become, he wants to be his great strength even when he himself doesn’t know what will happen to them. It reminds him of that same day when Wonpil was trying to give him a chance to change his mind. Jae thought it would be so ridiculous of him to do that, not when he finally knows that he isn’t the only one who feels it. As long as they don’t let go of each other, nothing bad will happen to them and so Jae decided to love Wonpil more so Wonpil won’t have the chance to regret his choice of loving him.

“Hey..” Jae who has been waiting for a few minutes but was already in the venue for three hours greets Wonpil.

“Hyung? What’s this?” Wonpil looks at the table for the both of them, it has red roses in the middle and a candle decorations with the prepared food. There’s cake and candle lights on the side. It looks like the one you can see on television where guys surprises their partners in a dinner date. This one looks like that but as casual as they are with their ordinary outdoor clothes and probably with Jae’s attitude to do this thing is already enough. He knows Jae tried his best and probably dying inside, asking himself why is he so whipped.

“Did you forgot what day it is today?”

“No, it’s not that. I know it’s our 2nd anniversary.. but I’m just surprised that you’d do such thing. I can’t believe you really mean what you said”

“Do you really think I break my own promises?”

“It’s not that hyung.. don’t be upset” Jae smiles and scratches his un-itchy scalp, a little embarrassed of what he is doing.

“Let’s sit down..”

“Hmm.. Did you decorated this?” Jae pulls the chair for him and Wonpil sits down, still in daze of why Jae would be doing this kind of thing for him. He holds on to the small gift he brought.

“Sort of.. with the help of the boys and our noona too”

“Our Noona?”

“Hmm.. your noona and my noona”

“Waa.. Really?”

“Noona came home from America, she wants to meet you. I also chose the food we will eat today and I hope it’ll be your liking”

“Don’t worry hyung.. I will be satisfied with whatever you’d give me. We’ve been together since forever and two.years.dating” Wonpil points out the last three words before he widely smiled and Jae watch him fondly.

“Are you happy?”

“I am proud of us.. You worked so hard for the past two years taking care of me. Thank you for always understanding and for staying by my side. I still want to apologize for being so insecure. From now on I won’t be like that... because I trust you. So yes, I’m happy. Very happy”

“I’m glad. You should eat now” Jae replies in short sentence. He do love what the younger has just said to him but he is too embarrassed to say something ‘nice’ when he can’t still get over the fact that he is doing this kind of thing. He said this before, that he’ll take his date on a Mcdonalds first to get to know each other but then he couldn’t even bring Wonpil in such place because he thought they didn’t have to. It took him too long to realize that the word ‘dating’ exists because they have to go on dates. He dated before but he’s never been in this situation and he’s never been this in love with anyone that he isn’t sure what to do especially when they have to keep everything for themselves and now he learned what he should be doing, he do really want to take Wonpil not just on Mcdonalds but on a beautiful restaurant with a nice view for the both of them. Just like now but on a room where no one can see them to keep their privacy.

“You should also say something to me before we eat”

“Later.. I can’t think right now”

“Why? What makes it so difficult? It’s just the two of us. It’s not like anyone’s eavesdropping here” and the two of them has started again. How come every conversation can turn into arguments? Just how? And Jae doesn’t want to deal with it.

“I think this is too formal.. you think?”

“Stop changing the subject hyung”

“Later.. I promise.. After you eat.”

Wonpil sighs as he picks up his knife and fork to slice the piece of steak in front of him “Fine.. I’ll eat” and when he did, he looks like a kid throwing a tantrum.

“What’s with the attitude? I thought you’re happy”

“WAS happy, I’m not anymore. Just eat your food hyung” Wonpil points his knife to Jae and then he chewed his food like he is some kind of a goat.

“Yah, Wonpil.. chew your food properly”

“I am” and Wonpil exaggerates his chewing that is making loud noises in the whole room. Jae rolls his eye at how childish this is becoming. He puts down his fork and knife and picks something under his seat.

“Fine! Fine! Fine! You win. Here..” Jae places a small box in front of Wonpil that finally silenced him from his childish act.

“What’s this?”

“Just open it” Wonpil carefully opened the box and saw a sparkling silver thing that his eyes immediately followed to the older who is keeping his eyes on him, curious of his reaction and it didn’t failed. Wonpil is blankly staring at him like he is not sure what is he supposed to do with the thing in front of him.

“Hyung.. it’s a key”

“Yeah..”

“This is a house key”

“It is.. Sungjin informed me about the band moving out of the dorm first. The company is letting us have our own places now and I told him not to tell you. Honestly, everyone has already talked about moving out of the dorm. Of course we’ve been living together for a couple of years, everyone is kinda sad of the thought but maybe time has finally come for all of us to move on and with that, I was thinking about how I want to spend my days with you and build our future together, so, what I am trying to say is once we move out, do you want to live with me?”

Wonpil is still blank for a second. The thought of living without the members is so foreign. He lived half of his life with them in the same roof but then it’s Jae. He is going to be with Jae. Jae wants to spend his days with him. Just Wonpil.

“Of course hyung.. of course.. I would really love to” Wonpil says with no sign of hesitance and even though Jae knew Wonpil’s answer will be, he still feels like he can jump in excitement but he is doing his best to stay calm and keep himself from getting up from his seat. He smiles as if he is okay. Even if they’ve been together for so long, the thought of being together in the same roof still makes his heart flutter, it’s overwhelming, he wants to cry.

“Okay then.. We are settled. Happy second anniversary.. my love”

“Hmm.. hyung.. Happy anniversary. I love you” Wonpil’s still in awe.

“I love you too.. always”

 

——————

Wonpil enters their large condo. He is still sad that they are moving out and will be away from the rest. He will be missing the morning mantras of Sungjin’s satoori. He will be missing Young K who will always protect him from Jae’s teasing but he will be missing his cuddle buddy the most. He is like his younger brother, the younger brother that he always wanted to have. In the end, he will be missing everyone’s presence but he can’t also wait to see how the future will unfold between him and Jae. He is so excited to experience new things together.

The moment Jae closes the door, Wonpil smiles widely to him and quickly wraps his hand around Jae’s neck. The older holds his waist. The younger is so giddy and excited about everything right now. His heart is about to explode. Jae laughs at the younger. He is as excited as him, he is just trying to be cool but Wonpil isn’t really good at being cool when he is too excited over things. They swayed from the doorsteps until they are completely in their living room, enjoying their time alone with the boxes filled with their stuffs from their dorm and the boxes filled with their new stuffs.

Wonpil finally faces the older, sending him a kiss on the lip and Jae reciprocates them with smiles. They couldn’t help but laugh in between kisses. The excitement and happiness just can’t fade right now. As they kiss, Jae leads them into their bedroom and pushes the younger on their newly bought king size bed. He looks at the younger and the younger understands him right away. He knows they’ve been waiting for this time to happen. He nods and Jae kissed him on the forehead before he went back to kissing the younger but in more heated and passionate way until he moved to his jaw then to his neck. Wonpil naturally tilted his head to give access to the older and he automatically tangled his hand to Jae’s hair. His voice hitched and he started moaning as Jae’s lips keeps moving on his sensitive neck and Jae is enjoying and loving what he hears, he kisses him more and more until he is satisfied and went back to the younger’s lips. Jae’s hand slowly moved to Wonpil’s waist up to the inside of his clothes, touching his skin until he finally decided he wants the shirt removed from the younger and when he did he went back to his neck, going down to his nipples, to his stomach. They pressed their bodies closer and moved until they can feel their manhood touching under their clothes and their arousal becomes more and more heated.

“Hyung, do something.. please” Wonpil says under his breath.

“I will” and when he said it. They quickly peeled off their clothes and Jae’s hand moves to the most sensitive part of Wonpil’s body that had him moaning until Jae is inside him. It was painful for Wonpil as it is their first time to do this after two years of being together. He can’t imagine how it took them so long to do this. Jae really worked so hard in keeping his own thoughts to himself. Wonpil did had these kind of thoughts in his mind before but he knew it isn’t a good idea to do such thing in their dorm. It seems disrespectful and Jae probably felt the same way that he could feel his efforts today. He must’ve wanted to do this badly but he is doing his best to be careful so Wonpil won’t hurt but when he has finally adjust, he asked Jae to move faster to keep up with their arousal. Jae groans and Wonpil moans. They didn’t know that they can be this loud or they just love being loud because finally no one can stop them from doing anything they want and no one could ever disturb them from what they want to do, they called each other’s name as if it’s a beautiful song that they want to hear again and again. Their movement is as louder as their voices and it feels so good. It feels so satisfying. When they finally reaches their climax, they really want to do it again but as it is their first time, they want to be more careful and maybe in the future they can explore more things with each other.

They both covered themselves with the light pink blanket Wonpil chose when they were shopping necessities for their home. They held each other tight like no one can ever hurt them.

“Hyung.. on our anniversary I bought us something but I forgot to give it to you”

“What was it?”

“It’s in my bag. I’ll get it” Wonpil tried to sit up but Jae stopped him realizing that he might be uncomfortable.

“No need to stand up. I’ll do it. Is it the bag you always carry around?”

“Yes, just give me the bag I’ll look for it”

When Jae placed the bag in front the younger, he watched him fish for something that he is curious about and when he finally got it. It is a small box, smaller than the box he presented to Wonpil last time and Jae thinks he knows what it is.

When the younger passes him the small box he blushed from embarrassment and anticipation of the older. He bit his lips as he watch the older open the box and when he did, he saw a two plain silver ring.

“I know it’s ridiculous but I just want to try it out. I’m not gonna ask you to wear it. I just want us to have something like that” The younger says in his small voice. His hands clasped on his own making it obvious that he was nervous to give this kind of gift.

“No, Wonpil-ah.. it’s pretty. Thank you” Jae says with sparkles in his eyes that caught Wonpil in a surprise. He didn’t know his gift can touch the older that much. He was expecting that he will laugh at it, think it’s weird or simply nonchalant about it but it’s not the expression he is expecting to see.

“Hyung.. are you crying?” Wonpil asks. Still taken aback from the sight.

“No, it’s just.. it’s pretty” He says even when it is so obvious from the tears spilling from his eyes and from the sniffling sound in his nose. He takes out the ring smaller in size than the other one that he believes it belongs to the younger. “Let’s try it”

The younger hums as his eyes still hovers the older. Still stunned of what he is seeing right now and he wants to record it on his mind so he could replay it for the rest of his life.

Wonpil picks up the other ring and shows him something.

“Hyung, look at this..” Wonpil shows the inner of the ring that has an engraved ‘Jae ❤️ Pil’. As common as it is, he still wanted to do this kind of thing. “It’s corny, right? I don’t know what had gotten to my mind but I really want to add this detail so even if there’s a lot of people who have this kind of ring, it will still be special for you and for me”

Jae really appreciates this kind of simple thoughts from Wonpil’s head. Even if he isn’t fond of this kind of gifts, he didn’t know this will make him cry. He wipes his tears away making sure nothing’s left.

“I know you thought of this really hard.. because I always say I don’t like this kind of cheesy things you must’ve hesitated a lot”

Wonpil smiles like a caught deer. “How did you know?”

“I just know.. why won’t I? Did you personally went somewhere to have this made?”

“I asked noona to help me with it” And they both gazed to each other in a knowing look before they suddenly burst into laughing.

“Really? Your noona must be very busy from helping me and you”

“I know. That’s why I was so surprised when you said my noona helped you on setting up the date. How was she able to go through all the troubles? I’m proud of my noona”

 

“Give me your hand” Jae says when they calmed down and Wonpil did right away. Jae inserts the ring to the younger’s hand and the younger did too. It fits perfectly.

“How did you get my size?”

“I sneaked into your room while you were sleeping..”

“Thank you. It’s really beautiful”

Wonpil tangles their hands that’s wearing the bond and kisses Jae’s ring lightly.

“I’m really glad you liked the ring, I almost threw this away when I didn’t get to give this to you on that day.”

“Thank you for not throwing it away”

Jae kisses Wonpil’s bond and lingers his lips on them for a few seconds before he gazes at the younger and says.. “Live with me for the rest of our lives”

“I will, as long as you want to keep me”

“I want to”

“Then we have a deal”

And Jae kisses Wonpil unhurriedly. Just like what Jae always say, they have all the time in the world. They lie down and didn’t let go of each other’s hand that has the bond. Wonpil’s other hand is on Jae’s hair so he can pull him closer. They kissed until they became drowsy, until the sun goes down, until the only thing in their heart is love, until what’s left on their mind is sleep.

 

Who you love doesn’t matter, as long as you are happy by their side.

You have to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my final note OMG!
> 
> First of all, thank you so much for reading this fic that didn’t have anywhere to go. This is the first chaptered fic I wrote that I was able to end successfully. I am truly happy and satisfied while making it and I hope you guys feel the same way too. JaePil is my favorite Day6 dynamic and it makes me happy seeing them get along so well that I can’t help but write my imaginations.
> 
> JaePil taught me how to write. I may still be bad at it but I really tried to learn and I’m going to learn more for the future fics that I might want to post.
> 
> The ‘Living together’ concept was inspired by the two H.O.T members who are still living together despite of disbanding.
> 
> I’m really thankful that I accidentally met the song WHO DO YOU LOVE. I literally cried.
> 
> If Day6 wins any music shows after comeback, I’ll post a hidden chapter. So I’ll just pray here and stream Days Gone By.
> 
> Once again, thanks for those who gave kudos, post comments and for the ghost readers. It’s been a great ride with all of you.


	23. Epilogue: Sinful Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Jae and his realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m posting it as promised because DAY6 WON!!!! 😆 
> 
> I think this chapter is too deep, boring and super long that’s why I couldn’t post it but this one is really important for me. This is a hidden chapter. A Jae POV.

The sun is high in the sky and Jae is excited as he take a bus going to his dreams. Jae holds his smile to himself as he watch the people walking on the busy streets, cars on the road, the blowing air of warmness through his smooth skin and the beautiful sun shining so high as if it is telling him that he will be having a bright future. His phone rings, breaking his small bubble. He looks at his phone and sees that he is getting a call from the company.

“Yes, yes. I’m on my way” Jae says on the phone as he speaks to a company representative.

Today is the day when Jae is finally signing with one of the top agency’s in the country. After all the hardships he went through from the survival show, he finally have his chance to become a real artist, just like how he always dreamed of.

He walks inside to meet the representative who called him earlier and now they are in an office with a deputy to talk about the contract signing. He learned so many things about the policies though there are parts he couldn’t understand due to his shallow Korean understanding that needs further explanation but his favorite part would be the plans of the company for him. Overall he likes the terms and he is eager to work hard to debut.

Jae was told to meet one of his possible future team and he waited for that person in the lobby. After a fee minutes that person arrived and it out of breath, seemingly tired from running. And Jae wondered why he was running.

“Hello, you are Park Jaehyung-ssi right?” The guy with a unique accent formally asked.

“Yes, I am Park Jaehyung. And you are?” Jae asks as his eyes blinks-blinks in a habit with his glasses on.

“Ah, Park Sungjin” Sungjin smiles on him, reaching out his hand for a handshake. Jae smiles on him.

The two walked to the corridors and talked about few things about each other and he learned that Sungjin is the candidate leader of their team. He learned few things about their team but he is really having a hard time understanding every word Sungjin says, aside from his accent, he talks so fast and he couldn’t speak English though he understands most of it.

A few moments, Sungjin finally gives up and calls the person who can help them in their language problem. Jae tried to listen to the conversation but he is speaking two times faster than how they were conversing earlier. Sungjin finally looks back to him.

“Let’s go and meet the members. Ah, our maknae is not here yet. He’s at school but he is already at his senior high so he is graduating this year. Here they are..”

Jae looks at the people inside the small room filled with instruments. Guitars, Cajon and Keyboard. He looks at the two other people who was waiting for his arrival and they all greeted each other in a formal way. He is still awkward with formalities despite of spending more than few months in the country.

“Hi, I’m Kang Younghyun. You can call me Brian” The fox eyed guy said in English and he feels like he can breathe again. ‘Thank God, I found a homie’.

“Hi, Park Jaehyung” and just like earlier they shake hands too then the other one introduced himself as Junhyeok which is also excited for his arrival.

“Okay, so we are complete but almost complete cause our maknae’s still not here. Kang Bra.. explain to him what’s going on” Sungjin says to Brian

“Yeah, so this is our practice room and I play...” Brian explained everything about their possible acoustic band as if he already memorized a script. Brian laughs and told Jae his importance in the company and to all the trainees like himself and he learned that Brian is the translator of every foreigner in this company. He had lots of fun talking to the younger because finally he is in a team where a homie is a part of it.

 

Later on they decided to drop the formalities to become closer and when they were talking, suddenly a loud bang on their door surprised him but not the rest of the members as if they are used to it. A high pitch giggle of a single person resonated the room and he looks at him. The guy is still on his uniform with a backpack on his back. He has a very thick curly hair, wearing thick glasses and has a bright smile on his face.

‘This must be the maknae’

“Why do you keep doing that? Stop laughing and come here” Sungjin says and the curly haired guy quickly sits beside him with excitement.

“Ah, Park Jaehyung-ssi?” He asks wide eyed and Jae smiles at him to confirm. “Hello, I’m Kim Wonpil. I play keyboard and accordion”

It seems like everyone already knows about his arrival and he is not surprised that everyone knows his name. He was in a survival show and the rumor of him signing to JYP must’ve spread to the trainees. So far, Jae thinks that he might be able to get along with all of them.

The first time Jae properly heard everyone singing was when they had their first practice together for the monthly evaluation of every training and he noticed how everyone sounds so good that they do really deserves to be in this company but aside from that thought, he noticed the maknae’s voice the most. Among the members, he had the most distinct voice like him but Wonpil has a sweet, passionate and angelic voice that can tug the emotions of every listeners, it’s like listening to someone who can take all the pain in this world. Jae has never heard a voice like his before, he is the most unique among every human kind.

And that was the time when Jae started noticing Wonpil. Even though he is with Brian and Wonpil is busy with Sungjin and Junhyeok, he can always see him. When Wonpil practices on his own, Jae listens to the other side as if he isn’t there.

Day by day Jae has seen how he, himself improved with singing through the help of the vocal coaches. He became better in making friends. His relationship with his members became deeper and he learned their differences that sometimes are causing for them to fight. Ego were always their enemy and it shows how their wants and pride are important for them. He knows Sungjin is having a rough time at handling all of them but sometimes it’s just too difficult to be on the same room as everyone. He also had his difficult times with Brian when they learned that one of them has to be the bassist. It was the worst situation for him. He didn’t want to be the bassist but he also doesn’t want Brian to be mad at him. He was stressed out and he didn’t know if he really deserves to be in this band and when he feels like he’s at worst, Wonpil is surprisingly there by his side. He asks how he is. They talk in the simplest way because they aren’t good in conversation. Jae is too bad at discussing in Korean language but despite that, Wonpil will always stay and he sing songs that would always.. always.. make the older feel warm even if he is angry. He is short tempered but with Wonpil’s voice, he can easily cool down. Wonpil just didn’t know that.

This was what the members were telling him. They said not to trust Wonpil’s childish acts because he is not like that most of the time. He never acts like the maknae.

He knows now what they mean when they said he doesn’t act like a maknae and that’s because he cares about the members all the time, he acts like a mom. A mom of four children who are having a rough time with adolescence and maybe he really like that, he likes how Wonpil cares for him, he is glad that there is a ‘Wonpil’ existing in their band because if there’s none, it will be chaos and Sungjin will always be crying because of them but at the same time he hates it because he knows Wonpil doesn’t just care about him but he also cares about what the rest of the members think.

But then Jae maybe wants to cancel what he just said. And maybe because Wonpil became more comfortable of Jae’s existence, he finally started his own clingy games. Jae remembered how he saw the younger kissing the members casually and running away, it reminds him of how the younger smells Sungjin’s body that creeps all of them out and also Sungjin will always.. always be the one who’ll be dramatic among the others but then Wonpil gets scared of Sungjin sometimes so he rarely does it, only when he is extra feeling shameless but Wonpil started doing it to Jae as well and Jae’s reactions are always priceless and the younger likes doing it more because he wants to tease the older and see that silly shocked face that has caused for them to bicker all the time but they were never serious.

 

 

—————

“Wonpil-ah, I found a good store that sells Gundam. Come with me” Said Junhyeok after checking something on his phone and Wonpil smiles widely upon hearing him. He looks at Junhyeok’s phone and they started discussing where and when they are heading to the store. Basically, Jae didn’t understand everything they talked about and he walks away from them. Wonpil is impossible to get close to.

 

“Wonpil-ah.. let’s go. I rented a car” Said Sungjin in excitement and the younger’s face brightens up as he stands up to get ready.

Jae looks from afar as he watch the roommates looking for their stuffs before leaving.

“Where are they going?” Jae asks Brian in English.

“Those two? They have this driving sessions from time to time. Sungjin brings Wonpil with him to play him songs but I don’t know what else they do, they’ve always been close since the day they met”

“Ah” Jae responds weakly. He knows how to drive too. He likes to listen to Wonpil’s playlists, maybe Wonpil will go with him if he asks but then he doesn’t have a driver license in Korea. And he isn’t sure why he should be having those thoughts.

“Hyung.. why? Do you want to go out?” Junhyeok asks out of nowhere and he realized he’s still looking at the two excited friends. He turns to Junhyeok.

“No, I’m good.”

 

“Brian hyung, I thought of something for a lyrics” then Wonpil and Brian leaves the practice room, forgetting Jae’s existence.

 

Basically, Wonpil have so much connection with the other members but him. He don’t know how they’ll communicate aside from singing English songs and bickering after every affection. Wonpil and Jae doesn’t have anything in common and most of all they don’t understand each other. At least Sungjin can understand English even if he can’t speak the language, Junhyeok is doing his best but Wonpil doesn’t know anything. Just the simple words like “Hi” “Cuteu cuteu” that doesn’t really help at all. Not just Wonpil but Jae couldn’t understand everything as well without Brian’s help. Jae only wants to be friends with each one of the members but why is it so difficult?

 

The day came when they found something in common. That was when Jae was searching for movies to watch in the internet and Wonpil came to his shared room with Brian just to whine how he was left out by Junhyeok and Sungjin. While Brian is with his other friends. He learned that Wonpil likes emotional movies like him too and Wonpil told him how Sungjin is the same too, they also like Marvel movies but Jae isn’t really fond of that so when Wonpil started talking about it, he suddenly felt left out even if it’s just them alone. Maybe they’ll never be close.

But that’s just what he thought. Wonpil started recommending films and books to read and Jae looked for the English version of those books while Wonpil searches for a Korean version of the books Jae shares. They watched plenty of movies and dramas together, with that they had a lot more to talk about and they became more open to one another. They shared lots of stories about their lives and Jae realized he has improved in Korean, probably that’s just all he needs to improve. Someone who will want to make him improve so he could have a chance to talk to that certain person. And Jae realized why lots of Wonpil’s friends cares about him because he is nice, he is a really good person though their endless bickering is still there.

And Jae got used to it. That when they don’t want to go out or when they don’t have practice, they spend it by either having extra practices or watching movies together and when the younger would have to spend his time with his friends and not with him watching movies, he realizes how much he is lacking of friends and he found those friends with Bernard who can teach him play basketball.

He thought they’ll always have those times together but the time they spend together became shorter when the management took in a new member as a drummer of their band after having the discussion.

Wonpil obviously went bling-bling after meeting the new member because it is the kind of person that he is longing to have. He is just too happy that he’ll have a dongsaeng now and he won’t be treated as a maknae anymore. The new maknae is too awkward and he talks like Sungjin but with a deeper voice and Wonpil thinks it’s cute. He is too cute that Wonpil couldn’t help but be clingy to him. Though he doesn’t sleep in the same room with Junhyeok and the new maknae whom we can all call Dowoon, he always hang out in their room and sleeps on the maknae’s bed. The maknae obviously is uncomfortable with it but time passed by when he got used to it and Jae knows why.

 

 

Everyone likes Wonpil and Wonpil likes everyone.

 

 

Sungjin hyung.. I have a question. I’m not trying to be nosy or something. I’m just really curious about a lot of things. I’m new wi—“ Dowoon trails off like he is afraid that Sungjin will misunderstand him.

“Stop saying nonsense and tell me”

“It’s not about me or..”

“Are you asking about the members?”

“Yes”

“It’s okay, just ask me anything. I will tell you what I know because we are on the same team”

“Jaehyung hyung and Wonpil hyung.. what are they?”

“So you noticed that too.. I wasn’t expecting that from you. You look so naive and pure but I guess those two are really—anyway, what do you think is it?” Dowoon listens attentively, hoping he’ll get a light of this but with a question thrown at him, he hesitate to say anything, he is afraid because he knows it is something that no one can just talk about. It is more than what a relationship can be.

“They...are...something?”

“To be honest, we also don’t know what’s up with those two. Your hyungs for sure have noticed it too but we don’t really talk about it. It’s their lives so we shouldn’t be nosy and let’s just wait for them to talk about it”

“Actually hyung, I’m worried of Jaehyung hyung. Wonpil hyung doesn’t seem to notice how jealous Jaehyung hyung is when he hugs me or sleeps in my room. I’m just scared that Wonpil hyung might be doing it on purpose to tease Jaehyung hyung but I don’t want Jaehyung hyung to get mad at me. Do you understand what I feel hyung?”

“It could just be a friend who doesn’t want to share it friend. But.. why? At what instances do you feel that way?”

 

Wonpil finds a new amusing game to play with Dowoon and of course the maknae looks excited about it however he can feel his hair standing as if something creepy is keeping an eye on him and he glances to see where his instinct takes him and there from a distance of their living room he sees their oldest hyung with intensifying stare at the smiling Wonpil, that’s looking at the new game. Jae is covering his face with a book but every time his small eyes looks at Wonpil, Dowoon can see his head moving away from the book and his pupils becoming bigger as his eyes going straight to his face. At first Dowoon tried to ignore it but it happens too many times now and Dowoon thinks, in Jae’s personality, he doesn’t want to say anything and Wonpil seems so oblivious of the older’s jealousy.

Dowoon always want to avoid Wonpil especially when Jae is around but he couldn’t stop him because Wonpil thinks Dowoon is like being his Busan Namja persona, just like Sungjin in which has become a natural for Wonpil based on experience.

Wonpil may not say anything but every time he sees Jae laughing, he smiles on his own too as if he is admiring every crinkles on the older’s skin. Wonpil always looks like he is in awe when Jae is smiling but then there’s a hint of sadness in his eyes, and Dowoon isn’t sure of what it is about. Could it be that because Jae is laughing with someone else? Is he jealous too but he couldn’t tell? Or they don’t know what they feel towards each other?

But then at the end of the day, the two will stay play together, they’d tease each other and laugh. They look so happy together. Are they aware of how they look when they are talking to each other? Are they aware of how they feel when they see one another spending time with someone else? They may just be pretending because they don’t know how to express their real feelings but they look so good together. They might be aware and it’s a destiny they need to fight.

 

“Don’t worry about it. They should be fine and let’s pretend we didn’t have this conversation, okay?” Sungjin says after heaving a long sigh. He’s been treating Dowoon like a kid for a few months. Wonpil should know how mature this person whom he treats like a baby.

“I understand hyung, but.. everyone must be on the same situation here? Curious about their relationship?”

“Exactly? But not really. Debuting is our priority. I already made it clear to everyone so you should remember that too. Okay?”

“Yes hyung. Of course”

“Good. You are really good at drumming. No wonder they chose you” Dowoon’s ears blushes into red and Sungjin grins, knowing the kid is shy about compliments.

“Ah, thank you hyung”

 

Jae isn’t jealous. It just comes with his personality, he convinces himself. He strangely likes it when someone cares and worries for him. When his allergies attacks, when he is bored, when he wants a good laugh and Wonpil is too good at that, he knows he sounds like a kid seeking for attention and he may always say he doesn’t like Wonpil’s clinginess due to his weird flex of personality but it isn’t like that, he just want to say those to irritate the younger. Wonpil makes his boring days fun and he just want Wonpil to spend more time with him but maybe it won’t happen because Wonpil is too nice and everyone is nice to him.

 

It is one of those days when they are busking and have decide to have their dinner outside. They went to a store where Samgyupsal is served. It is smoking hot, there’s a lot of noise from the laughing and talking people inside and the sound of clanging cooking wares and sizzling meats are everywhere. The members loves the sound and is excited to eat and Jae has gotten used to it. He loves Korean food because usually he doesn’t have to be cautious at most of it.

“Hyung!!” Wonpil yells at Jae that stopped the members for talking. Jae looks at Wonpil who is sitting beside him. Wonpil is already holding his wrist, stopping him from feeding himself with rice. Wonpil drops Jae’s spoon and proceeds to slapping the older’s arm. The older frowns in irritation, he’s been hungry for many hours and suddenly he needs to be stopped. If it’s a joke, it’s not fun.

“Ow! What’s wrong with you?”

“Why are you not looking at your food properly?! Here’s my rice, take it!”

The members quickly looks at the older’s rice and they realized that there’s beans on it. They gasped, knowing that the older is allergic to it. He looks at his own bowl and he saw the beans. Dumb, he was too busy laughing at Sungjin’s jokes he didn’t notice that his own food might have killed him. He is glad that Wonpil noticed it and the members showed thumbs up to Wonpil who are munching their food. Wonpil might have a bad eye sight but he’s glad that the younger isn’t blind like him. But who’s the stupid person who wants to eat rice with beans? Why do they sell that?

 

“Wonpil-ah, thank you for earlier” Jae said after settling on the car by making sure he’ll sit beside the younger because he might not have the courage to say it later.

“No hyung.. just be careful next time”

“I’m glad you were looking at me”

“Well.. I can’t help it. You look so happy”

Jae looks at the younger and Wonpil looks like he is serious with his words. Jae blushes for no reason.

“What do you mean?”

“You were smiling so widely earlier hyung. It really looks nice. I like seeing you smile”

And it’s like blood rushed all over his face. He can hear his heart loudly. What’s wrong with this crazy kid? He knows Wonpil is confident but he didn’t know Wonpil can be this.. this confident. Thankfully the rest doesn’t really care about them right now. Everyone looks so tired and have decided to close their eyes yet he is still worried that they might listen to their conversation.

“Wha-what’s wrong with you? Yah, w-why are you suddenly saying that?” He stutters and he regrets at letting out a word. He doesn’t know why he is feeling weird, like this. What’s this?

“You should smile more often hyung” Wonpil continues with sincerity in his big eyes that Jae only sees at their busking events because Wonpil only wears glasses on their dorm. He didn’t know the younger will look good without his glasses on but the Wonpil in glasses is still his favorite aesthetic.

“Kim Won—“

“If you smile more, you won’t look pitiful” After hearing the word that Jae is dreading to hear. All the rushing whatever in his system went back to its original position and Jae deadpans on the younger. ‘Pitiful’ just until when will that pity die out? And the younger smiles widely until it became a laughter that lead into the frowning of the members who are trying to take a nap just until they reach their dorm.

“I get it. Shut up. I’m taking back what I said” Jae says in irritation.

“Huh? No way! I saved you from a disaster that could ruin your entire life! You should do me a favor!”

“No way!”

And they bickered until they got tired of it and ended up sleeping the whole ride with the younger’s head on the older’s shoulder and the older’s right cheek leaning on the younger’s head.

 

When they debuted, that was the best thing in their lives and for a few moments, Jae has forgotten about his weird flexes as he was too focused to be at his best because he knew lots of his fans since his music competition were waiting for him. And the band worked so hard to impress people. Their first few months was good until Junhyeok left. That woke them up to reality, they always thought once they debut everything will be perfectly fine but that was just the beginning and they learned that it is harder to be an artist than to be a trainee.

That was also the time when the members became closer. Instead of bickering in their small flaws just like how they usually are, they overcome everything by cheering each other up. They stayed together and talked about a lot of things just like about the band’s future.

Sungjin, their leader is even almost giving up with the look in his eye, Younghyun doesn’t know what to do when he is overwhelmed as well and Dowoon is quiet, afraid he’d make a mistake as a newbie in the group but Wonpil.. just like how he always is, will always talk positively and will smile right after. Aside from Sungjin, Junhyeok was the next person that Wonpil was very close with since trainee days, they had a dream that one day they’ll share a room and fill it with Gundam collections but Wonpil looks fine. He must be hurting inside just like how everyone is feeling right now but Wonpil is very strong despite of his soft persona. Even if he can cry easily, Wonpil always have the strongest heart among them and he talks about a future that seems so blur to everyone yet he brings light for all of them to stay strong.

And Jae admired that. He really do and he wish he can always admire the younger by staying by his side. But he hates himself for not being like Wonpil in the most needed time. His mind is filled with worries and his heart is filled with sadness. He is scared that because of what is happening to them right now, the band might discontinue and he might have to go back home but he doesn’t want that. He do misses his home but he doesn’t want to go back this way. And the more he worry, the more he wants to lean on that one certain person. The person who would try to understand him the best, who would be curious about what he is thinking, who would always look at him with gleam, who would always take care of him but Wonpil is like that with everyone. He will always be that kind of person, he is nothing special, because Wonpil is a good person.

The more he wants attention, the more he wants to be seen in another aspect and the more he gets strange feelings, the more he tease and anger the younger. He is acting like a kid, he knows that but it’s his way to relieve his stress from his worries. The more he looks at the younger, the more the heavy weighing in his heart disappears. He likes that the younger is playing with him, that they have jokes that the two of them would only understand. He likes all of that but something’s wrong. He is having a sinful feeling to that innocent and good person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my point of view, Jae is someone who needs a lot of care. According to one episode of Music Access, he wants to date a noona because he is childish and with what I understand of Wonpil’s personality, he isn’t just a childish person but someone who cares a lot of his members. Young K once said that Wonpil always asks him if he is okay and takes care of him when he is sick. Sungjin also said if there’s a mom in the group, it would be Wonpil. Also they said, Wonpil never acted like a maknae and would always refuse their requests so they were really thankful of Dowoon’s existence.
> 
> Since Wonpil is like that and Jae is a baby, I think this is also one of the reason why they are too close. At the Karaoke live, Wonpil was trying to pass water on him. On Dayoff, Wonpil walks on a slow pace for Jae. Also when Jae wasn’t with them, he always mention him. Wonpil is so caring with everyone, he was like that with Dowoon too but after Dowoon adapted on the group, he became closer to Jae because Jae is the best person who listens to his jokes and reacts to his pranks. Jae just accepted Wonpil as a whole but with a little lie because he is a tsundere.
> 
> My little Day6 observations that you don’t have to mind..

**Author's Note:**

> Music reference/ guides:
> 
> Still - Day6  
> The Truth Untold - BTS  
> Trouble I’m In - Twinbed  
> Who Do You Love - The Black Skirts
> 
> I listened to these songs while writing this fic. Those are all lovely and sentimental songs.


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